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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Death by Yoga

It's been one of those weeks. On Monday I was dying from the world's worst residual hangover. Tuesday was the birthday from hell. And I arrived at work at 6:15 AM. Wednesday was just kind of crappy. But yesterday, Thursday, this day takes the cake.

He who shall not be named but broke my heart was in my office. Yes, my new office. My safe haven of fun and hard work. So what if he was invited to a conference? This is my home turf. I spotted him early in the morning after a visit to tech for a new desk phone. Thankfully my short(er) stature allowed me to duck behind the chutes and escape to elevator safety.

I enlisted the help of my office friends to keep tabs on him and report sightings through email. I imagine this is what it felt like to be hiding from the velociraptors in the laboratory/kitchen in Jurassic Park. I seriously sent an email asking if the coast was clear because I had to pee.

Holding the alligator hostage at work.
He hadn't been sighted in a while and so I thought it was safe to approach the front desk. I was actually offering my services to cover the front desk, and then I saw him. And I ended up speaking with him. And I didn't die. And I didn't try to kill him (luckily there was a large desk in between us...) And I didn't start crying hysterically or asking what I did wrong. And I didn't go to a bar after work. This ladies and gentlemen, is what we call progress.

I did go to Power Vinyasa Yoga at the Equinox at 63rd & Lex and then I did die. Twice. I accidentally brought running shorts instead of spandex and my ingenious idea to wear a long-sleeved C9 compression shirt turned a regular yoga class into freakin Bikram. Iyala Berley doesn't eff around.

Taking creepy locker room photos of myself before the class.
I didn't realize how out of shape I have gotten this summer. I had been going to yoga (kind of) regularly this spring so I kind of assumed I'd still be able to move in a somewhat fluid motion. Nope. Not true. I was a sweaty mess rolling around on a sopping wet mat. I kind of liked it.
Taking creepy locker room photos of myself after the class. 
This yoga class starts at 7 PM and lasts until 8:15 PM, and by 8:15, I mean 8:20. I didn't get home until after 9, and at that point I didn't feel like eating dinner. My new manager and I have discussed the importance of exercise in my class so I'm going to have to figure out a better eating schedule. Any suggestions?

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