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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Whole 30 Fail

I have epically failed at Whole30. I've had cheese, milk, cereal, bread, pasta, alcohol, peas, and Chinese food. You shouldn't sleep with your Paleo Pal right before the challenge starts because then you spend the next thirty days avoiding him and then there's no one to hold you accountable or help you cook.

Since the Whole30 Challenge started, I have not had soda, Slurpees, or sex. The soda and the Slurpees is intentional. The sex - well I've gotten to the point where I am so disinterested in people that usually I completely zone out after three minutes and then after that I sometimes think about how much more satisfying it would be to kill the guy rather than have to continue doing what I'm doing. This may be why I've been upped to two sessions with the shrink a week. However, I had a lovely time with the last person I slept with, who unfortunately lives across the freaking country, so chances are I won't become the black widow serial killer just yet and stick to celibacy.

By sticking to some Whole30 principles I have been able to lose 8 lbs. Yes, I got on the scale when I was explicitly told not to. I have decided that I will follow a Paleo diet during the week and on the weekends I can eat whatever my dad is cooking or go out for sushi. This should help me continue to lose fat but also let me enjoy things I love, like my dad's pasta dishes and Yuka's unicorn fish.

I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Jacqie's wedding in May and I am so excited to celebrate this special day with her and her awesome (and quite attractive) fiance. Last night I went to try on my bridesmaid dress and was able to get into the size 4! I bought the size 6 instead because I'd rather pay to get it taken in than worry that the 4 is going to be too snug if I eat anything the day of the wedding.

I tried the dress on in plum but I ordered it in black. Jacqie picked beautiful dresses for us and I'm psyched that I can wear it again and again. I've never worn a one shoulder dress before and I think it's pretty flattering on me. I do have to step up my upper body work though. Look at those flabby chicken arms. Anyone want to train me?


  1. You look amazing in this dress!! I'm so glad you get to come celebrate and share our day! Love you!

  2. Thank you my love! I'm so excited to spend it with you!!


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