Nike+ GPS and Runs with Friends

On Saturday I peaked my head out from under the covers, established my whereabouts, and remembered I had promised to run 10 miles in Central Park. I'll admit I didn't particularly feel like getting bundled up to run in the frigid tundra we're calling New York City these days, and the idea sounded a whole lot better after a happy hour of Guinness and Scotch, and a whole lot worse after the wine and rum. But my competitive nature was challenged, and soon I found myself in my performance gear and ugly green hat on my way over to 72nd and 5th.

My first order of business was to convince my running partners that we wanted to run a 10K and not 10 miles. Mission accomplished. My second order of business was testing out the new Nike+ GPS. I don't like to run with my headphones when I run with other people. So that we could all enjoy the excitement of new technology, I turned up the volume on my iPhone 4OS and put it in my high-tech fanny pack. This nifty app alerted us to every completed mile and our current pace. We managed to keep our pace around 9:30 miles, which  is pretty impressive for three mildly hungover individuals exercising on a freezing Saturday morning.

I'm actually being generous... I could've run faster, but I wasn't there to train, I was there for the company. Sometimes the activity is more important than the outcome. This is how we ended up at Melon's later for bacon cheeseburgers, cottage fries, bloodies, and pie. We used this time to analyze our run results. The GPS function tracked our run, our pace, and identified where we slowed down and where we sped up. I highly recommend this app if you are training for a race or looking for new routes in your area.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

This afternoon, as I was giving my once-a-week Friday goodbye hugs, one of the students I love the most comments that my belly is nice and soft, like a pillow, like his mommy's. His mommy had a baby last month. Since he believed this to be a wonderful compliment, I smiled and thanked him for the lovely comparison. Then I sucked in my gut and swore off booze, cheese, and bread products of any kind. Children are like court jesters - little people with big mouths who get away with calling out the person in charge.

You Cannot Get Your Cardio in Bed - Although You Can Try

Happy people really are fat, and try as you might, you cannot get your cardio in bed. After days of eating Chinese food, Buffalo wings, French fries, and fried chicken chased with beer, Scotch, Swamp Water, and Slurpees, I can barely button my dress pants and my arms are jiggling. Thankfully yesterday put me in an awful mood and I got my fat, no longer happy ass to the gym.

I had made plans to join my high school roommate and a long-lost friend from sophomore year for dinner at Penelope's in Murray Hill. In order to fit in a workout before dinner, I returned to my old Equinox location at 33rd and Park. The minute I walked in I remembered why I never went when I lived down there - the place is awkwardly designed, there are way too many people milling about doing nothing, and there tend to be events held in the narrow path between the gym floor and the locker rooms. (Yesterday's was a pizza party. Yes really. A pizza party. That's exactly what I want to smell after I've sweat my ass off for over an hour. I was tempted to throw up on the table, but that seemed a bit excessive just to prove my point.)

My baditude was really on a roll, and I was scowling left and right. Then, the cosmic gym gods decided to spite me because I finally found a Yves-less Cardio Kickbox class worth my time. Akin Williams teaches this 45-minute class and I really liked his style. There were even hinge kicks! The majority of the people there were rather lame and I'd appreciate some volunteers to attend with me and kick the energy level up. I don't expect everyone to add extra plyo moves, but I have little respect for people who walk out of classes as dry as when they walked in. Akin had this extra special abs move at the end, combining down/down/up/up planks with push-ups and plank jacks. I am imagining that this is why my midsection hurts and not because the very non-elastic waistband of these trousers is cutting off the blood supply to my lower half.

Holidays, Birthdays, Wednesdays, and Any Other Excuse to Eat Cake

I meant to post this before the holiday break.

It's that magical time of year again when God tells us to eat sugar cookies. I really like the ones with the sprinkles that look like crystals imbedded in an inch of vanilla frosting. Even better if they're cut into shapes of reindeer, snowmen, and Christmas trees. I ate a tasty menorah once too, but let's be honest, no way was that thing parve.

What are you supposed to do when you are socially obligated to indulge? Weight-loss gurus such as Dr. Stephen Gullo (author of The Thin Commandments) and Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser trainer, author, the voice of my conscience) recommend including your friends, family, and coworkers in your quest for health and thinness. Try telling a nine-year-old that you're not eating a piece of his birthday cake because thin just tastes better. In his mind not eating the cake translates to "I hate you and you're failing the next math test because I said so."

I try to plan everything else I eat around the bad choices I have to make. That way I don't blow my whole day... or week.

Fists of Energy!

I got to attend my favorite spin class this morning with Craig. I love Craig. I love his class. I love his class's music. It's the best ever. It better be considering it requires signing up 26 hours in advance, which means 6:30am on Saturday morning.

I booked bike #23 because it is my favorite but when I got to Equinox this morning I found that someone had removed the straps from the shoe cage. I hate people. Thankfully I arrived early enough to run downstairs and switch to bike #1. Bike #1 is located right next to the instructor and directly in front of the mirror. How I let this prime piece of real estate go unnoticed is beyond me, but for 60 minutes I got to sit next to Craig and stare at myself. I also had a good line of vision to check out my glutes, I mean form, in the wall mirror to the left. My dad's in real estate as he always says it's all about location, location, location. From now on bike #1 is my favorite bike.

I love Craig's class for many reasons, but one thing I particularly like is how I learn something new each time I go. Today Craig encouraged us to try cycling for ten seconds at a time without our hands. You're probably rolling your eyes because you're thinking, "How hard can it be to ride a stationary bike with no hands?" It's pretty hard when you're out of the saddle, out in 3, with your hands hovering above the handlebars. This exercise forced me to really engage my core in order to stay upright.


As I've mentioned before, my absolute favorite part of class is the 3 minute sprint home at the end. Then we cool down and stretch on the bike. I really enjoy the fists of energy at the end. As I reread this, I realize that fists of energy sounds pretty dirty, but I like it because I never remember to stretch out my hands.

Extra Special Workout

NOTHING prevents me from attending Yves Maco's master classes, especially not a throat issue that sent me to the Emergency Room. I set my alarm for 6:30am to book Craig's Sunday morning spin class, woke up, groped around my bed for my iPhone and booked bike #23 (my favorite) using the MYEQ app. Then I spent the next hour and twenty-five minutes pretending to sleep while I really planned my future kickboxing-themed wedding (I watched Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings with my TLC obsessed mother and sister last night. What can I say?)

Today's extra special workout was 70 minutes of kickboxing followed by 70 minutes of Dance Fusion. This was the same combo found at Sweat the Turkey Out! but today was called Jump Start Your 2011 with Yves Maco! It's the best thing I've done in 2011 so far and if you remember, I've spent the past six days high on painkillers eating dessert and watching tv in bed. My 2011 has been awesome.

Yves arranged for a videographer to come to today's classes to add some footage to Yves' new website www.yvesmaco.com. I felt like I was under a lot of pressure to perform with a camera in the room. To be honest, I needed this kick in the ass. I didn't realize how much I slack off when I'm not afraid of being caught.

This is how my family found me after Yves' classes. In my defense, the marble is nice and cool after a long workout. Funny how the first word in workout is work. Workouts should be hard.

I'd also like you to take a moment and notice my incredible color-coordination. My lululemon outfit was an easy combination but the shoes even match the drawstring on the shorts and my socks match my shoes. Although you can't see them in this shot, my barrettes and hair tie matched too.

Yves extra special classes are held at Fusion Fitness located at 45 Cutter Mill Road in Great Neck.

Chocolate + Banana + Peanut Butter = Delicious

It still really hurts to eat so I made myself a smoothie this morning that was pretty tasty. Throw ice, Walden's Farm Zero Calorie Chocolate Sauce, 1% milk, chocolate whey powder (I'm using Designer Whey these days), a small banana, and a little Jiffy peanut butter into a blender. Viola!

As Seen on TV!

I love infomercials. As Seen on TV is my favorite kiosk at the mall. These devices are often incredible and I proudly own quite a few.

I purchased a Pasta Boat last fall. You just throw your pasta of choice into the container, add the appropriate amount of water as dictated by the cooking guide, and then microwave it! After the pasta is done cooking you attach the strainer lid and strain the water out without losing half of the pasta in the sink.

I received a Ninja Master Prep for Christmas. This blender and food processor extraordinaire pulses ingredients with ease. I can chop, dice, purée, and blend with one device and cleanup is superfast. It can even turn ice into snow!

I made this pasta dish using my Pasta Boat and my Ninja. I cooked whole wheat fusilli. I then put an onion, three garlic cloves, and some chopped walnuts into the Ninja. I took those ingredients and put them into a saucepan. I added olive oil, a little pasta water, and mushrooms. When this became saucelike I added some sugar snap peas to heat them through but keep them crisp. I poured my sauce over my pasta, applied viscous lidocaine to my mouth, and then sat down to enjoy House repeats on my couch.

And I Still Can't Refold a Newspaper

Some people set resolutions each new year and we know how those tend to turn out. I try to set goals that I hope to accomplish by December 31st, and if I don't, I add them to the next year's. Over the years I have resolved to wear my retainers (I now do), floss daily (I feel gross now if I don't), and properly refold a newspaper (still working on that.) I set these goals to improve myself, and I'm all for continuous improvement, but I often forget to simply like myself. I may have done some awful things to people over the years, but I guarantee that I have treated myself much worse.

This year my goal is to always treat myself the way I would treat my best friend. It seems simple and obvious, but I challenge you to do the same. I would never tell my best friend she was fat and lazy and not worthy of love or affection. I would never tell her to get blindingly drunk and to have sex with an emotional stranger. (Just because you spent the past six years partying with a person does not mean that you know him. This is what we call an emotional stranger. You know the basics, you might even know specifics about him or his performance in bed from others, but you have never had an intimate, sober conversation with him.) I wouldn't let a crappy boyfriend make her feel bad about herself or let her sit alone at night regretting decisions she has made. If I wouldn't treat my best friend this way, why do I do this to myself? There is actually no justification for this so in the year 2011, I am going to be the best friend I can be to myself (not that I don't have a really good one already, because I do. She's awesome.)

I've spent a lot of time in bed watching DVR'd episodes of crappy television recently (hooray debilitating throat illnesses!), and my guilty pleasure One Tree Hill had this cheesy line about happiness being an emotion, not a destination. I think we each make the choice to be happy each day, but the way we treat others and ourselves helps us make this decision. I am choosing to treat myself better so that I can choose to be happy each day. Tomorrow I'll work on this newspaper folding business... unless anyone wants to buy me an iPad.

HydroColdstone

Some might say that I tend to overreact. While I've gotten better about this in the past three years, apparently my immune system didn't get the memo. I picked up some kind of virus (and not even from making out with anyone, how lame am I?) and my immune system is freaking out and attacking my throat. My mouth is actually molting. So I'm out of work until Thursday, watching tv in bed. God bless my DVR. It's too painful to eat so I'm living on my vicodin prescription and sorbet. Trevor has been tickled over the idea of painkiller-spiked ice cream for years, which he wants to market as HydroColdstone. He's quite clever, isn't he?