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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Single Looks Good on You

I take books out of the local library to read as bedtime stories when I babysit for my boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's (got to remember that) nieces. And I was really excited to read The Rainbow Fish to them when I was supposed to babysit two weeks ago. I finally returned the book last night. It's been two weeks and this break up is beginning to feel real.

I haven't been moping around though. I've been going to Pure Barre, walking Frank around the neighborhood, and going out for meals and drinks with friends, and even kind of starting to date. I've lost four pounds from tracking my macros and that's including frozen margaritas. I've been reading Katiefitscript and I love her information on cutting and then reverse dieting.

So last night I went to Pure Barre and I decided to wear a pair of hunting camouflage leggings I had never worn before. I rarely buy myself workout pants (because ugh pants), but lovely people buy them for me and Pure Barre requires pants. I thought I looked damn cute. I went to use the restroom before class started and I was like OH FUCK ME there is a hole in the crotch of these pants. The seam was unraveling fast. Luckily Pure Barre sells a bunch of cute (but expensive) clothes in the front of the studio so I went to buy a new pair of pants. I was picking out size mediums but the girl at the front desk was like, "Oh no. You're tiny. You need a small." I don't think I would have used the word tiny to describe me in a few years but she was right, I did need a small.

I love my new Beyond Yoga Space Dye Capris. They feel like moleskin. Class was taught by Andrew Bayless and it was fantastic.

After class I drove over to CFID because my friend Elvira had left me something at the front desk. I said hi to everyone and my coach came over to me and was like, "You look great. What have you been doing differently since I last saw you?"

  • I've been eating my Edesia Meals because they are delicious and I don't enjoy meal prep
  • I haven't skipped meals
  • I've been eating Triscuits to get some added carbs
  • I've taken rest days when I'm tired

I'm a little concerned that I'm losing muscle because I've been doing a lot more Pure Barre than CrossFit, but my mobility is vastly improved and my strength numbers haven't gone down. I actually might have gotten stronger?

When I first got into CrossFit, I loved that I was no longer concerned about calories burned or how I looked, and that I was in the pursuit of becoming stronger and better at fitness. I spent so much time this past year worried about my weight and losing weight and working out more to lose weight, and all I ended up doing was yo-yoing the same 6 lbs. If someone makes you feel like they'd love you more if you looked better, even if he or she doesn't explicitly say it, you don't need that negativity in your life. I know that some people thrive in the bodybuilding or physique space. I do not. It makes me insecure, neurotic, angry, and downright unpleasant to be around. I'm not trying to sculpt anything. I just want to lift heavy and figure out how to walk on my hands.

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