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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, October 30, 2015

A Spooky Tale for Halloween

Happy almost Halloween y'all! Something very spooky is happening at Melrose Place my apartment complex.

So as you might know, I have been dating my neighbor since August. He's lovely and I enjoy the proximity of my apartment to his. I left my spare set of keys with him back when I left for San Francisco in September. He placed them on his key rack by the door and when I came home 11 days later, they were gone. I was annoyed but I wasn't overly concerned. He had invited a group of his coworkers over after a Braves game and he thought that maybe one of them took my keys home accidentally and was too embarrassed to admit it. Since his coworkers haven't met me and don't know where I live, it's not like they'd be able to break into my place.

But then this past weekend, the key thief struck again. Jeremy's roommate has two vehicles - his van and his car. He keeps his keys on one carabiner and hangs it on the key rack. Someone took the van and the car keys from the carabiner but put the carabiner back on the hook between Friday and Sunday. Yesterday he saw that his van had been tossed but it was locked and there was no damage indicating entry without a key.

And the plot thickens.

On Monday night, I was smoking a cigarette (because I'm doing that again and it's gross and I know I should stop) on Jeremy's patio and Jeremy's brother came out to sweep. He found a doggie waste bag FILLED with poop on the concrete floor on the other side where I never sit. This is odd for a few reasons. One, it was a ridiculous amount of poop. Two, someone had to make an effort to walk up from the path and place it on the patio. Three, that person had to pass the dog waste receptacle that is installed in front of Jeremy's patio (awesome location guys) to place the bag on the patio.

I think we have a disgruntled neighbor on our hands. Or someone who believes that these guys are hiding something of value. It is my hypothesis that someone took advantage of an unlocked apartment door (which is why I always lock mine and put the alarm on, even if I'm inside or just taking Frank out for a moment), grabbed my keys believing they were an extra set belonging to Jeremy, and waited to use them to sneak back into their apartment to either search around or steal the car keys. When that failed, they came back, again took advantage of the unlocked door (notice a pattern here?), and snagged the keys off the carabiner. Why they got so bold, I don't know. Had they taken the entire key set, we would've thought Tom had just misplaced them. And the car thing is just so weird, because why bother to lock up after you trash the inside?

I'm not scared of goblins, ghosts, or witches, but I am fucking terrified of home invaders.


I went to Tuck and Glow at Pure Barre this morning. We listened to a Halloween playlist and got to wear glow sticks. The email advertising Tuck and Glow said to wear white, so I did, but unfortunately there wasn't a blacklight so I didn't get to glow. Maybe next year!

There's a 3 class pack sale going on until the end of today, online and in the studio.


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