Costumes and Confidence

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” ~ Cady Heron “Mean Girls”

I find that quotation particularly funny this year because my Halloween costume was basically what I wear every day to CrossFit plus a pair of glitter stripper heels and red lipstick. I am considering adding the red lipstick to my regular routine.

Jeremy and I went as the Joker and Harley Quinn. I ordered my costume on Etsy a full 21 days before Halloween, but unfortunately my dress never arrived. I found myself running into a pop-up Halloween shop on Halloween, tossing anything Harley Quinn into a basket, and hoping something fit. I think those were supposed to be shorts but I prefer to wear spandex underwear in public anyway. Jeremy even said that my costume troubles turned out for the best since I ended up getting to wear my favorite thing.

I think I looked really good in my costume. ← Period. I'm not qualifying that statement. I was really happy with how it turned out after I was all ready. However, I did feel a bit nervous trying it on. I had my body fat tested on Halloween morning and I have lost one pound of muscle and two pounds of fat since last year's test. I would have preferred to keep those two pounds of fat rather than lose the pound of muscle. Clearly this culinary tour is doing me no favors. I purchased two Harley Quinn tops and there's a reason I went with the Harley Quinn hoodie over the Harley Quinn crop top - my midsection.

I've signed up for nutrition coaching with one of my favorite bloggers, Jenna Carelli of Crazy Healthy Fit. My decision to work with a coach should (and probably will) be a different post, but it boils down to taking action to reach the goals that I want to achieve. But on October 31, 2015, I had not achieved those aesthetic goals but I still put on my costume, was happy with my overall appearance, and felt confident. And for that I thank CrossFit.

Annual slutty outfit day (or week depending on where you live) has not always been my favorite day. I fucking love theme parties and was pretty much thrilled that I went to a college that believed you should host a minimum of three per weekend. But I've also found myself freaking out that I had binge ate and needed to squeeze my ass into some knockoff porn outfit that was designed to fit tween proportions. I definitely threw up like $60 worth of Whole Foods the Saturday of senior year Halloween week because I got convinced to go to Psi U's Halloween party and I felt like I wouldn't look good in my sexy lion costume if I didn't purge. That entire sentence is insanity. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I still have days when that type of behavior makes sense, but I stop myself because I know I won't train well if I start doing crazy things with food.

I make better decisions because of CrossFit. So some people might think it's insane to wake up at 5 to get to the gym before work. Others think that CrossFit is a cult. And many more haters uninformed people who have yet to discover the joys of CrossFit think it's dangerous. But at the end of the day, CrossFit makes my life a better and safer place. One where I never have to wear pants.