Last Day of Vacation

Today is my last day of freedom before returning to work. Thankfully I like my job, so I'm not overly upset, but I have tried to jam as much stuff into today as possible.

Welcome to Operation Reunion Weekend

I went to MC Dance & Fitness for Kick Kamp with Yves this morning. It was great to spend some time with him and Coco. I felt a thousand times better today than the last time I went and my knee didn't really bother me at all. We ran laps in between kickboxing segments and dear lord was that hard. Some of the ladies cut the corners on the laps and I always feel like a tool making sure I hit the truck and then the street sign, but then I tell myself that I'm getting the better workout. It reminds me of sleep-away camp when some of the girls in the older bunks would half-ass boxing class and somehow I was made to feel stupid for my energy and their laziness. Anyway, class was amazing as usual and I loved it.

Everyone takes selfies before class.
I'm loving these Champion bermuda shorts FYI.

I skidaddled on home to call my shrink from the backyard. I kind of prefer our phone sessions because they allow me to chain smoke and avoid eye contact. Nothing new to report on that front. I still don't know how to make friends and the entire world revolves around me.

I housed a large Dunkin ice coffee while on the phone and then drove to Beach Bum Tanning. I don't advise that you consume 32 oz of caffeine and then hop in a tanning bed because I had to pee the entire time and it was not fun. I also think the girls that work there think something is wrong with me because I used their bathroom when I arrived and as I was leaving 16 minutes later.

Behold the Kiwi King!

My usual beds, the P90 and the KBL America, were in use so I used the Kiwi King and I am a big fan. The top is much closer to your face than the other beds but who the hell cares - it reminds me of the old fashioned kind we used in Wallingford. You can adjust the face lamps, which is awesome because I turned them down with 5 minutes to go. My face is a little red on my cheeks and nose to mimic a real tan. The tell-tale fake and bake is a uniform tan across your face so I make an effort to redden up a bit.

Skin brown, teeth white, clothing glowing.

I took a quick shower, dropped by Angel Tips for some waxing, and then headed to Morel Hair Design for a haircut with Jorge. My hair looks great as usual.

Now I'm at Westbury Chrysler waiting for Petunia's oil change and for her AC to be fixed. The air coming out of the vents is even hotter than it is outside and now my blowout is all wind strewn from having to drive down here with the windows open. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

I took this lovely photo of myself using Photobooth. Now I am getting funny looks.

Westbury Chrysler service station has free wireless but it blocks Facebook and PicMonkey. Clearly the two things I wanted.

Free Tanning Sundays

So this little gem of marketing genius is actually a misnomer - tanning isn't free on Sundays at Beach Bum, but it is certainly much less expensive. If you have a package, you can buy a lotion packet for as little as $5 and get a "free" tanning session. And this only applies after 4pm, but since they are open until midnight (or later), you really do have a large window of opportunity to take advantage of this deal.

Today I drove Petunia the PT Cruiser back over to Greenvale to spend ten glorious minutes in the KBL America. To read my review of this prime example of tanning technology, click here. Despite the criticism indoor tanning receives, I do it because it makes me feel better. Although I have been anxious and depressed about the crapshoot I managed to get myself into recently, I left feeling optimistic that I could handle everything that is on my plate. My teeth are also significantly whiter, which just puts a smile on my face. And one session in the KBL America goes for $29, so a session and a lotion packet for $5 really is a steal.

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Or why I go tanning when I'm SAD

I don't handle winter well, particularly not the month of February. This year it seems to be starting early and I can only blame it on my lack of artificial UV rays. Damn you $5 Manhattan location surcharge! I think I suffer from seasonal depression. Actually, who are we kidding? I've been depressed since the 7th grade. There's a reason this blog is called In Shape, OUT of Mind, and it has to do with the fact that I'm not all there. It's alright. For some reason, people find me lovable anyway.

Despite prescriptions for Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Prozac, and God knows what else, the only thing that has managed to get me out of my funk is a combination of Ritalin, intense and borderline violent cardio, and artificial sunlight. I understand that these medications have done wonders for many people, and please do not alter your own medications without speaking with your doctor. I just never responded to them and if they came with a negative side effect, I was the patient who had them. By the way, Prozac guarantees a minimum 5 lb weight gain... Note to all you med students on your psych rotations: NEVER tell this to patients in an eating disorder recovery group. You will quickly find yourself at the center of a riot where all personnel who could save you are hesitant to intervene because they fear lawsuits regarding their involvement in damaging fragile, nutrient-starved bones. Owners of these fragile bones are especially mean because they are extremely hungry, and they will show you no mercy. God, I wish there had been cell phone video cameras in 2004.

Back to the point of this post... I have tried to stop my aggressive tanning because orange is not an acceptable skin color outside of certain neighborhoods on Long Island, in Westchester, and in New Jersey. For some reason, only select groups of people find this attractive. But now I'm thinking that orange skin trumps the winter blues.

New Tanning Bed!

The KBL America

 There's a new bed at Beach Bum Tanning in Greenvale! With a 10 minute maximum, you know the bulbs are fresh. I haven't been in a bed this high-tech since I went tanning in Paris. Um yes, I went tanning in Paris. Regularly. I have an excuse, I was depressed.

The KBL America (God I love patriotic product names!) is a cocoon of vitamin D and happiness. It has a built-in sound system and different controls located at eye level. I don't actually mess with those things (while I was in France I couldn't even understand them) but you can change the volume, music, etc. There is an aromatherapy option (gross) but (thankfully) Beach Bum hasn't put any scent in. The thing that I love about newer beds is the mist function and the KBL America has it. After about 4 minutes it mists automatically, keeping you cool, and fresh.

The KBL America is a Diamond Level bed. I think it's worth the money to tan Diamond if you don't tan as often as you did in high school.