Seasonal Affective Disorder: Or why I go tanning when I'm SAD

I don't handle winter well, particularly not the month of February. This year it seems to be starting early and I can only blame it on my lack of artificial UV rays. Damn you $5 Manhattan location surcharge! I think I suffer from seasonal depression. Actually, who are we kidding? I've been depressed since the 7th grade. There's a reason this blog is called In Shape, OUT of Mind, and it has to do with the fact that I'm not all there. It's alright. For some reason, people find me lovable anyway.

Despite prescriptions for Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Prozac, and God knows what else, the only thing that has managed to get me out of my funk is a combination of Ritalin, intense and borderline violent cardio, and artificial sunlight. I understand that these medications have done wonders for many people, and please do not alter your own medications without speaking with your doctor. I just never responded to them and if they came with a negative side effect, I was the patient who had them. By the way, Prozac guarantees a minimum 5 lb weight gain... Note to all you med students on your psych rotations: NEVER tell this to patients in an eating disorder recovery group. You will quickly find yourself at the center of a riot where all personnel who could save you are hesitant to intervene because they fear lawsuits regarding their involvement in damaging fragile, nutrient-starved bones. Owners of these fragile bones are especially mean because they are extremely hungry, and they will show you no mercy. God, I wish there had been cell phone video cameras in 2004.

Back to the point of this post... I have tried to stop my aggressive tanning because orange is not an acceptable skin color outside of certain neighborhoods on Long Island, in Westchester, and in New Jersey. For some reason, only select groups of people find this attractive. But now I'm thinking that orange skin trumps the winter blues.