July 2016 Goals

Life and Wellness Goals: July felt like the longest month. I traveled to Memphis, Chicago, Houston, and Newark within a three week period. My inbox still has 400 emails in it. I feel like I wasted my weekends with too much drinking at the pool and I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked. Despite some serious work stress and anxiety, I'm feeling pretty good about life.

I listened to both seasons of Serial during my travels. When is Sarah Koenig going to come out with Season 3? For real though, I miss her soothing voice.

Speaking of soothing voices, the highlight of the month was meeting Doug Larson at my box!

My GMAT prep course started again and I'm trying to keep myself organized and on top of the work. I need to do well in the course so that I feel confident taking the exam in October. I wonder if there are podcasts I can listen to for GMAT prep? If you know of any, send them my way por favor.

Pure Barre Goal: I went to Pure Barre twice this month, which makes 49 classes this year.

CrossFit Goal: 79/200 WODs. I dropped in at CrossFit Tupelo on my drive back from Memphis. They just moved into their new space and it's beautiful and air-conditioned. Looking at this, I don't think I am going to hit my goal of 200 WODs.

Mileage: 0. I should probably find some time to run before my half marathon on August 13.

Everything Hurts and I'm Dying

So on Monday, I was calmly minding my own business answering my emails in bed with my dogs. Maintenance comes to my apartment to go about addressing the 6 work orders I submitted on Sunday night, because let's be honest, isn't it better to have your pals come and spend 2 hours fixing stuff that's broken rather than send one-off requests all of the time? I quickly brought the dogs to daycare so they'd stop aggressively informing Kenny he wasn't welcome in our bathroom, and sat down at my desk to handle the project from hell. This is the annual project of telling your straggling AmeriCorps members that if they do not sign their evaluation and complete their exit form immediately, you cannot and will not release their Segal Education Award. This year it's $5,730. For the love of all that is holy people, just slap an electronic signature on your positive evaluation and tell the Corporation for National and Community Service that you do not want them to contact you about anything but that you did serve your 1,700 hours and you want your money. I didn't move from my desk the entire time my maintenance guys (who are seriously awesome by the way) fixed my thermostat and my shower and my light and that screw on the toilet and placed an order for the ice machine parts that I was apparently supposed to have the entire two years I have lived in this apartment. I sent a lot of friendly but slightly menacing emails.

So then maintenance is done and I stand up to go over the work orders with them, and my back starts to spasm. It is effed up. It feels like the time I threw my back out doing touch and go power cleans at 105# when that was a heavy weight for me. That time I ended up doubled over taking muscle relaxers and hydrocodone for a week. The scheduled WOD was max clean and jerk, followed by 30 cal row 15 clean and jerks 30 front squats for time using 70% of daily max for WOD. I rushed to the chiropractor. I was fixing this immediately.

I got adjusted. I came home and put heat on my back. I had to continue sitting at my desk because I had too much ish to do that needed two screens. By CrossFit time, I couldn't walk at all.

I have not done CrossFit since Tuesday, July 19 and I am dying! Things seem better now, but this much physical rest is killing me. Unfortunately I'm not getting much actual rest between the annual project from hell, the fire that was lit by some colleagues overreacting to this annual project (it happens every year - they always sign in the end!), some grant officers who are trying to get me to commit suicide, and my GMAT prep course. Obviously that was scheduled to start back up this past Tuesday.

The next time someone tells you that CrossFit is dangerous, you can tell them your favorite blogger incapacitated herself typing.

Fat Kid Strong Diet

I upped my macros to 145 P 145 C 65 F and told myself I have to eat that as a minimum every day. It's been rather freeing to see those numbers as the baseline and not the limit. I've hopped on the scale a few times but have purposely told myself to ignore the number. I think I look more defined weighing in at 145-148 lbs this week than I did when I hit 140.2. I'm sure it has something to do with water weight.

I've been kidding around that I'm a fat kid diet, but I really just want to get strong again. I returned to CrossFit last fall pretty weak compared to where I had left. I had lost and then gained weight and lost muscle mass. I don't compete in Olympic Weightlifting so it's not like I have to make a weight class. I want to start PRing lifts again.

Sometimes I get down on myself because I see girls at the gym who now move 95# overhead like it's big deal and I used to be stronger than them. I know I need to work on my mobility and fix my right shoulder. I know that I took time off last summer and then went away all fall. But it still frustrates me. I've also felt torn by too many goals that are all over the place, so I decided to simplify things - get as fucking strong as possible.

Guess Who Was in Our Box Today?

I'm at the 9:30 AM class this morning because I'm already on Zonolite for an 8 AM appointment and Brandon is coaching and he's my favorite coach. We've done the warm-up and we're going over the WOD - three attempts at a chipper. You get three minutes, then 5 minutes, then 7 minutes to complete a 500m row or 400m run, 10 burpee box or bench overs, 15 box jumps, 20 wallballs, 25 push-ups, and 30 sit-ups. There's one minute of rest between each attempt. Brandon explains what we need to do and then asks if we have any questions. I raise my hand, nod towards the back of the gym, and ask, "Is that who I think it is?"

Doug Larson of Barbell Shrugged was in our box! I have watched hours of TechniqueWOD. I think about him every time I row (because of TechniqueWOD, not because of my huge crush on him.) It pains me that he's not on the new podcast episodes. I recently started rewatching the old episodes because I missed his voice.

So today, I mustered up my courage, went back to the lifting platforms and told Doug Larson I have had a crush on him for three years. I'm sure I freaked him out a little since I basically stalked him across the gym, but he gave me a hug anyway and agreed to take a picture with me. Brandon joined in too.

photo cred: Anna Marie

The workout was fun but challenging. I made it through 4 box jumps in 3 minutes, 20 wallballs in 5 minutes, and 4 sit-ups in 7 minutes.

There's This Guy

There's this guy at the gym. His hair is longer than mine. His tits are nicer than mine. He's got more tattoos than I do. Not to mention he's faster than I am, AND he was doing muscle ups at his first day of on-ramp. He's also a lawyer and happily married. I hate him.

I actually don't hate him at all. He's awesome. But a few years ago, I would have definitely hated him because I was insecure in my own self-worth and accomplishments. I have the power to change the way that I look, and I'm working on being happy with how I look today while always striving to look better. I can work to be stronger and faster, which I am (hashtag all the gains.) I love my own job and I am really grateful for the strange career path I found myself on because it lead me to where I am now. And relationships take work. I'm dating someone who loves me and puts up with my shenanigans and my dogs and my CrossFit addiction and the fact that I am frequently out of state. I've learned a lot since my last relationship. The end goal is not marriage and you don't put up with bullshit because you're so close to "happily ever after" in that house you've always wanted.

And so friends, be thankful today because you are enough just the way you are. Get some goals. Go after those goals. But don't let yourself or anyone else eat away at your confidence and make you feel like you'd be better or more lovable if you weighed less, lifted more, made more money, or did whatever else differently. Someone once told me that the thing he loved most about me was that I made him feel perfect just the way he is. I was like wow, I have never felt that way, especially not from you. So obviously that relationship did not work out, but it also showed me that I don't need someone else to make me feel that way about myself because I can make myself feel that way.

And it's deadlift day so let's rejoice.

June 2016 Goals

Hi y'all! So June was a pretty good month. I traveled to both Nashville and New York. I got to spend quality time with my parents, see old friends, drink too much wine on the Long Island Railroad, and tour a firehouse. Living the dream.

Because it's entirely normal to get a 20 oz soda cup filled with pinot grigio.
No, like really. It's an actual thing you can order at Penn Station.

Mindful Macros

Yesterday was fucking awesome. I cannot emphasize enough how much a positive mindset impacts everything you do. You might not be into Jesus or CrossFit, (but if you are, check out Faith Rx'd), but putting all of your effort into something and living your life for something important feels so much better than going through the motions while having an existential crisis.

Mindful eating versus macro tracking. So I am back to tracking macros now that I am home from New York. I was feeling mad puffy and bloated. But I am focusing on my hunger cues, what actually sounds good to eat, and how I feel in my performance. I read something on Krissy Mae Cgney's blog the other day that smacked me right upside the head.

"I started out as a strict macro-counter. I got a high from hitting my numbers dead on every single day and I weighed and measured everything that entered my mouth. I was in this 100%. Now let me be extremely candid . . . this is a sign of an eating disorder. I was obsessing over food and my definition of nutritional success at this time was predicated on hitting my daily macronutrient allowance dead-on. I found myself popping fish oil pills to hit my fat macros..."

I have definitely popped fish oil pills to hit my fat macros. I've also eaten a tablespoon and a half of butter off a knife.

Just trying to keep my shit organized.

The Best Version of Me

Today I am excited to lift all the weights with my CrossFit Identity bitches and hoes at the 5 PM. I woke up to the sound of my baby dogs snoring in my bed in Atlanta and I was filled with love. It was 6 AM and I made the decision that today would be a good day.

I will do everything I do today to the best of my ability to glorify Christ. I will take joy in my work and in thrusters because he has given me the opportunity to live this life and I am grateful. I watched a Barbell Shrugged podcast last week that made me reflect on my attitude towards training, work, and the way that I approach the opportunities I am given. Is it a job that I have to do or is it a gift? No one makes me CrossFit, run, take care of my dogs, or succeed at my career. I have choices and I choose to be the best version of me today.

When I look in the mirror, I see a lion... or at least I did until my majestic mane was dyed blue and then hacked off.

Have a great day y'all!

Nashville and New York

Hello friends! I made my annual summer pilgrimage to New York by way of Nashville. Here's what I've been up to for the past week.

WORKOUTS

I was in Nashville last week for work and got a quick run in one morning. I looked up routes on Map My Run and did this 2.6 mile loop. It was a really pretty run that took me over to Nissan Stadium. I decided not to run with my phone because I am terrified of being mugged. Sadly that means no photos of the beautiful sunrise or the apartment building that's basically in the water next to the bridge. Nashville built some legit pedestrian/cyclist paths on their bridges, which is nice because it encourages commuting by foot or bike.

The red line is the portion I ran before the GPS kicked in.

Back on Long Island

I'm back on Long Island and enjoying myself immensely. My flight was ridiculously delayed last night coming in from Nashville. I was not very pleased, especially because I hate flying into LaGuardia. My dad is a saint and still came to pick me up even though it was after midnight.

This morning my mama and I hit up Pure Barre Huntington. The class wasn't particularly difficult but my thighs were smarting from the Hotlanta Half and way too much time sitting in airports and on airplanes.

After class, we ran errands and I got a toasted, scooped egg bagel with tuna fish from Bagel Boss. I don't eat bagels very often, but when I do, I want a real Long Island bagel. I also got a large iced black coffee and it was delicious.

Fast forward a few hours and a work call later, and I was off to get my nails did. Someone put a padlock on the gate that connects my parents' cul-de-sac to the local middle school parking lot. Apparently it's to keep parents from driving up our street to drop off their kids. Since I was walking to the nail salon and it's right near the middle school, that put a major crimp in my style, but no worries, because I just hopped the fence. Thanks CrossFit.

French manicures are required whenever I'm back in the 516.

Speaking of CrossFit, today is my 3rd anniversary. I feel like a putz for not going on my anniversary (two years in a row) but I'll make up for it when I get home.

My parents and I had a delicious dinner at the Brass Rail in Locust Valley. The lobster bisque is fantastic and I tried monkfish for the first time. I really love monkfish liver, but this is the first time I've had the meat of the fish. Very tasty. I also had a martini that hit me harder than expected. That made completing a vendor application for the state of Tennessee super fun. The key lime pie tasted more like cheesecake. It wasn't bad but it was no Publix.

I'll be terrorizing my mom all week so get excited for some posts about Pure Barre and yelling at people in grocery stores. (For real, it's already happened once since I've been here.)