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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Today I went to METCON3 at the Woodbury Equinox. This is my second METCON3 class, and I'm becoming kind of obsessed with it. The 9 AM Sunday class at Woodbury is taught by John Kocaj. I have also attended the 10 AM Saturday class at Roslyn with Steve Ramirez. I really liked both, but I've been told that every instructor's class differs.

METCON3 is a "high-intensity metabolic conditioning workout [that] taxes all 3 energy systems and acts like a fat-incinerator to ensure results that leave you fit and motivated for the demands of your life," according to Equinox's class description. I have found that it is an hour of awesome.

We performed three sets of ten exercises with no very little rest in between exercises. I needed to rest and readjust my shrunken Champion C9 razor back top (okay, maybe it's just too small.) There are thirty seconds of rest in between each set.

Today John had us using a set of heavy weights, a VIPR, and a mat. We did squats, curtsies, deadlifts, a lot of plank work, and rows. I haven't used a VIPR in forever, and I forgot how much I enjoy using this piece of equipment. I also enjoyed when John brought me over the heavier red VIPR because the purple one was too easy for me. Booyah!

Steves class used a body bar in place of the VIPR and we used a small step. My first METCON3 class was Steve's, and I had just attended a spin class. I thought I was going to die. And throw up. And die while throwing up. This is actually what I look for in a workout, so I was thrilled.
I like that this class is broken into three sets because the first set is just hard, the second set you get your shit together, and the third set is balls to the wall because you can pass out on the mats in the stretching section of the gym when you're done with a sense of accomplishment.

I was a sweaty mess by 10 AM, showered and dressed by 10:30 AM, and off running errands in a car with no gas by 10:35 AM. If I'm going to be out of bed at all on a Sunday, I want to feel like I conquered the world. That's why I can't do Sunday morning yoga.

Although I didn't do yoga today, John had us to a lot of side planks, including that threading the needle business that really targets my obliques. I should remember to do those when I'm drunkenly doing push-ups in my kitchen. (Sometimes I feel really guilty for skipping the gym to go the bar and then I do push-ups when I get home to justify my behavior. No joke.)

I came home from the gas station (yes, I finally went) committed to not eating crap (I ate Cheeze Doodles yesterday and then worried about my insides turning orange permanently), so I busted out the blender and made a smoothie. This is a smoothie and not a shake because there is no protein powder at my parents' house. What kind of kitchen these people are running is beyond me. Anyway, I put frozen peaches, frozen raspberries, dried rolled oats, coconut milk, and a little honey into the blender and had this tasty snack. Then I ate left over swordfish and spaghetti twenty minutes later.

Forty-five, fifty, and sixty-minute METCON3 classes are offered all over this great city of ours. If you'd like to start going with me, I'm thinking about hitting up 85th and Lex and 50th and Broadway. Comment below or send me a text if we are FIRL (friends in real life, duh.)

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