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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Soccer and Insomnia

So last night I returned to my soccer team after missing two consecutive games. I dreaded going all freaking day but I ended up having a great time. And somehow, clearly it was all the practice in Houston, I had greatly improved.

Fifty percent of the battle is looking good and take a look at that color-coordination below. The shorts even have yellow booty shorts built in.

the return of the work bathroom selfie!

So we finally have an early game at 7:55 (yup, that's the early time) but since it's all the way in Williamsburg, I gave myself an hour to get there because I hate being late and I hate being surrounded by hipsters so you can only imagine what happens when I am late while surrounded by hipsters. I arrived by 7:25 and spent the next 20 minutes in search of a place that would sell me iced coffee but not require me to sit down and learn how the beans were lovingly grown by a band of travelling orphans or whatever. It was a struggle but I succeeded.

mandatory Manhattan skyline Instagram from the field
The team has been playing very well in my absence so the only value-add I have is my willingness to aggressively insert myself in the immediate path of whomever has the ball. I also know to stay down to make sure the ref calls in my favor. I played the entire game again, nbd, and actually passed a few balls this time. We lost 2-1. Or is it 1-2? I've actually never bothered to learn this because I prefer solitary sports.

After a beer with the team, us Manhattanites headed back to Manhattan. I made it to my apartment, showered, ate some orzo salad, discovered that Time Warner screwed with my DVR and didn't record Young and the Restless, and then shit when downhill from there. kept freezing at the same commercial every time (get your effing devices in sync and sign the damn player before the other team snatches him up goddammit!) and I lost that wonderful opportunity of Melatonin-induced bliss. And I stayed awake until after 1 AM and then I woke up at 4 AM and I have been awake ever since.

Once I ran out of Candy Crush lives, I took another shower, dried and straightened my hair, and then accepted that there wasn't anything else I was interested in doing, so I went to work. This is what the office looks like before you turn the lights on at 6:57 AM.

someone forgot to turn off the conference room light last night. oops.
I'm not sure what's going on around me, I have lost all of my Excel skills, and I am overly entertained by the stream of emails I am receiving about our plans in Atlanta this weekend. I need to go to sleep and stay asleep. I found myself googling, "Can you feel hair grow?" this afternoon.

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