And Life Goes On

I'm surviving being single. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I get angry, but mostly I enjoy not pretending to be happy. I watched seventeen episodes of Twin Peaks over the weekend and I'm okay with that. I'm also remembering the pros and cons of being me before I spent all of my time at home texting my boyfriend. I went to grill out at CrossFit on Friday afternoon and after drinking my way through most of the beers, I headed out for too many margaritas. Definitely woke up on my floor Saturday morning with Frank peering down at me from my bed. I believe my rationale was that my bed was nicely made and I was only going to ruin it. Can't argue with that.

I've been going to Pure Barre pretty regularly and I think I've gotten better at it. I didn't realize how strong my abs are until I was able to do a lot of the holds and tucks. I struggling with the planks because my feet keep slipping on the carpet with those not-so-sticky socks. I must be doing planks wrong (it wouldn't surprise me) since most other people there don't have this problem.

Thoughts on Love During a Long Run

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Corinthians 13:4-7)

Today I ran the long run I skipped last Friday in favor of watching The Young and the Restless in bed with my dog. Spectacular idea at the time and I felt pretty good on my run today. I had 8 miles to cover before my Pure Barre class at noon. I left a little bit after 9:30 AM and headed south on the Eastside Beltline Trail.

I had to run 4 more miles after the Beltline so I hit up Piedmont Park

First Day of Pure Barre

My sister and my mom are huge fans of Pure Barre. They're always going to Pure Barre and talking about Pure Barre. They even have special socks for Pure Barre. It sounds kind of like a cult, and since I like cult fitness movements, I decided I needed to try it. I also got a little sick of my sister telling me how Pure Barre is only for experienced workouters, because if CrossFit can be adapted for people missing limbs, I'm pretty sure Pure Barre can be adapted for people who are intimately acquainted with their couches. So I signed up for the new client special and had my very first class today.

Let me be the first person to stand up and say that Pure Barre is extremely difficult. So many isometric holds and micromovements! My legs felt like noodles! And all those front squats yesterday certainly didn't help matters. It's been over an hour and my legs still feel like jelly.

I'm excited to share my Pure Barre journey with you guys over the next several weeks. I'm not quitting CrossFit, and consider Pure Barre an extension of my CrossFit. Coach Glassman says to "regularly learn and play new sports."

I had a great time in class today with the instructor Meredith. The only thing that I would change is the dresscode - pants and covered midriffs are required!

Front Squats and Reflections on Life

Things have been really hard for me lately. I was hoping that I'd bounce back quickly after my attack in May, but it's been much slower progress than I had hoped. Just now I took Frank out to the grass directly in front of my apartment and I was genuinely scared. I stood out there, standing as tall as possible, and repeating, "I have a 165# front squat and a taser - no one is fucking with me ever again." I keep my taser on and ready and I don't go out after dark without it. Today I ran errands alone in Atlanta for the first time since early June and I was scared to walk across parking lots in broad daylight. It makes me so angry because I feel so weak.

I was laid off (again) and my last day on the job is July 31. Thankfully my role was extended past the last day of the fiscal year (May 29), but I've been rejected from internal positions that I really thought I had a strong chance of getting. It's been frustrating because the feedback I've received has been basically, "We think you're great, but since so many people got laid off this year, the applicant pools are huge and competitive and you just weren't the best, but you were totally number 2." I've been getting pissed off because after defining myself by my work for so long, I now feel that another thing has been taken away from me and it's out of my control. 

I've been acting really negative and taking it out on my wonderful boyfriend, who is a saint to put up with me. Today's his birthday so you should wish him a happy birthday if you know him and haven't done so yet. Even going back up to NY for two weeks didn't help make me feel better. It's like the joy has been sucked right out of my life and I'm stuck in this cycle of feeling and acting like a victim. Even after being beaten and losing my job, this year is actually much better than 2009-2012, and I made it through all that. I feel like I've lost perspective.

My blog photographer, aka my mom, did not return to Atlanta with me, so I'm experimenting with the iPhone timer.

Greetings From New York

I am back in New York visiting my family and enjoying a pseudo vacation. I'm working on a few projects but otherwise I'm free to chillax with Frank and harass my relatives into taking photos of me.

I accidentally had my Fabletics outfits sent to my parents' house. This is the Highway 74 outfit and I love the mesh palm tee shirt and the white sports bra. The Dili shorts are cool because they have little tabs to tighten the sides.

Virginia Highlands Running Club

This morning I woke up so excited about running and training for my marathon. I haven't been this psyched in a long time - probably since I started training for New York City in 2011.

While I was in Orlando last week, I went for my first run since I was attacked. (Thank you Samantha and Audrey for catching how my original sentence said that I was attacked in Orlando.) I was with two of our new teachers. I went for my first solo run and first run back in Atlanta on Tuesday afternoon. I ran into my friend Doug from the Virginia Highlands Running Club and I really appreciated his kind words. I promised myself that I'd go to run club on Wednesday evening, no matter what. It starts at 7 PM giving me ample time to talk myself out of it, but I went!

My Trip to Orlando and SUBU CrossFit

I was in Orlando all of last week running logistics and ops for a work event. Every region welcomes its teachers at some point during the summer at an induction welcome week and I got to help out with Orlando's. It's long, it's tiring, but I really enjoy it. I only wish I still got paid hourly. Womp womp.

This was not my first rodeo and I knew that I wouldn't have a lot of time to workout, but I did get in a run and a drop in.

I volunteered to take any interested new teachers on a group run on Tuesday morning. The route I mapped out was only 3.27 miles but we missed a turn and got a 4.64 mile run instead.

Shoulders and Shorts

Today's workout was brutal. 750 m row, 25 thrusters (75/55#), 15 burpees over the bar for time. Then 5 minutes rest and repeat.

I wore my Fleo shorts because I love neon and animal prints and not wearing pants. I love Fleo because they have great customer service. My fantastic boyfriend bought these shorts for me, but now I think he regrets it since y'all can see my butt cheeks.

I was happy that I had a faster time the second round.

My shoulder has been acting up for over a year. There's nothing wrong with it and I'm not injured. I just don't have the mobility that I should and I need to work on it. My friend and fellow 4 PMer, Dr. Sam did some dry needling on my lat the other day and it's made a big difference. I could definitely tell that I have a better range of motion when doing the 50 thrusters today.

I take really shitty selfies :/

Stay Vigilant

On Wednesday, May 13, I was attacked on my walk back from run group. It was 9:15 PM on a well lit street, less than 2 blocks from my apartment. My attacker got out of a car, sneaked up behind me, jumped on my back, and started to choke me with one arm while grabbing at me with the other. He stole my phone, credit cards, and driver's license and left me with scrapes, bruises, and a sweet case of PTSD.

This was the most terrifying experience of my life. I didn't know if he was trying to kill me or if he had a weapon. He never said a word. If he just wanted my phone and had demanded it, I would have handed it over. No phone is worth my life. I was able to fight him off and I chased after him with some eyewitnesses, but he made it to the waiting car and took off. This is an active investigation and I have been able to identify my attacker in gas station surveillance footage.

I know that this is not my fault but I wish I had trusted my instincts when I saw the car of teenagers cut me off. They didn't look like they lived in my neighborhood and they cut off a pedestrian, which is a faux pas in this area.

I want to share some things that I did that I think saved my life.

I made myself the center of attention. The minute I felt that bastard's hands on me, I started screaming, "Help! He's attacking me!"

I left no doubt about what was happening. Eyewitnesses said it looked like a friend or boyfriend was coming up to give me a hug from behind. But when I started screaming, "He's attacking me!", it became clear that this was no friendly joke. Many people ran towards us, which made him run away. I continued to scream, saying, "Help! That man attacked me!" as I chased him down the street.

I had over 10 eyewitnesses. I'm not sure if this saved my life, but it really helped with the police report. Neighbors sitting on their porches were able to identify the make and model of the car even though they didn't see me get attacked around the corner.

Life Lately

I tweaked my back something fierce a couple of weeks ago and I've been taking it easy easier and focusing on getting back in tip top shape. That means less CrossFit, more walks, and some quality time with Frank since I got back from Phoenix last week.

reunited and it feels so good