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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Airdyne Assault

See what I did there?

(The Schwinn Airdyne and the Assault AirBike are both fan wheel bikes in case you didn't get my clever humor. They are both pure torture.)

So Dr. Dan cleared me for light lifting and a body weight metcon when I saw him on Tuesday. It wasn't the, GET YOUR ASS BACK TO CROSSFIT! I was looking for, but it was better than nothing. 
I got to the box, caught up with Blaine who I'm sure missed me because no one else seems to be willing to entertain him while he's rowing, peddling, mobilizing, and then got changed. Then I subjected my tight shoulder to the rumble roller (I swear I will build my pop-up desk soon) and did a dynamic warm-up. Then I laid on the floor because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Olympic lifting is out for the foreseeable future (fuck my life) so I decided to do front squats since that's what injured me in the first place. Kind of like a Touch Assists in Scientology. (I don't believe in Scientology but I am fascinated by it because it was made up created by a washed up science-fiction writer with red hair. That's right ladies and gentlemen. Scientology was brought to us by a ginger.)

5 @ PVC - 5 @ 35# - 5@ 45# - 5 @ 55# - 5 @ 65# - 5 @ 75#

My beloved Pat Sherwood recently injured himself when he went over his motorcycle's handlebars and Miranda Oldroyd and Gustavo Marquez, Jr. had him do this workout. So I decided to do it too.

Shit sucks! I wanted to throw up so many times. My legs felt like Jello. My lungs tried to climb out of my esophagus. I saw stars. I had to go find my water bottle between rounds. Being back was GLORIOUS.

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