Tilikum is Dead

Tilikum, SeaWorld's most notorious resident, has died and I am devastated. It might sound like I'm kidding, but man did I feel like that orca understood me. I wrote about it in this February 2013 blog post. Spoiler alert! This post is pre-CrossFit and I was a nasty bitch terrorizing men on my young professionals club volleyball team.

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I'm actually not against SeaWorld. I read this article about SeaWorld's CEO Joel Manby in Fortune Magazine last September and I think it's a worthwhile read. We know a lot more about marine mammals in 2017 than we did when Tilikum was caught in 1983. You can't just dump a whole bunch of animals who have come to rely on human care back into the ocean. My favorite place in the whole wide world as a middle school student was the Dolphin Research Center, and I think they're doing some great work. If anyone wants to make a trip to Grassy Key with me, holler at your girl.

Anyway, there is a point to this post. I had so much anger and frustration trapped in me that I was clearly on a path to self-destruction. I was going to be dead within five years. I had no constructive way to express or release the feelings I didn't let myself have and I just became really fucking mean. I felt trapped in a city I hated, surrounded by literally millions of people to whom I had no connection, and I didn't know what to do besides work all of the time and get really drunk. I understand the frustration Tilikum must have felt living 34 of his 36 years in a fucking glass tank with a bunch of idiots screeching at him. That's how I felt about the subway.

2016 Goals in Review

I started 2016 with a list of goals I wanted to achieve. Spoiler alert! I only achieved one, but I'm not mad about it.

WOD 200 times in 2016. I did not reach my goal, but I did recommit myself to CrossFit this year and I am so happy that I did. I strengthened existing friendships and made new ones with people at my box whom I love very much. My girl Kayte became my bff. I had some pretty awesome drop-ins. This is definitely a goal I am going to try for in 2017.

Tuck 10 times a month. Not even close. I couldn't keep working at Pure Barre with the demands of my day job. And once we were no longer allowed to take class during the last class of our shifts, the whole perk lost its allure. I have an unlimited month at Pure Barre Brookhaven in January and I am going to participate in their New Year Challenge.

Train for a 1/2 marathon. I didn't train for the HOTLANTA Half Marathon or the Area 13.1, but I ran both of them.

Complete the Marine Corps Marathon in under 4 hours. Nope. But I did PR my marathon with a time of 4:15:35.

Sleep 8 hours a night. Sometimes. I make an effort to get more sleep and I am more willing to admit that I need to take something to help me sleep some nights.

Drink 3 liters of water daily. For a while I was really on point. Lately not as much. This is another keeper for 2017.

Rock the GMAT. I have rescheduled this thing so many times. I'm taking it in March 2017. I'm so sick of thinking about it.

Comment on other blogs. I engage with bloggers more but mostly on Instagram.

Focusing on living my life one moment at a time. This is the only goal that I think I accomplished. This year has been so incredibly stressful, and yet I made it through and I am so happy. Sure, I still get overwhelmed and stressed out. I probably drink too much and don't spend enough time doing important things like studying for the GMAT. But I have stopped thinking that once I do, get, earn, or lose X, I will suddenly be able to start living my life. I'm not waiting for the day that someone moves here, or the day I lose 10 lbs, or the day I make a certain salary, or anything else for that matter. Today is where I am and that is exactly enough.

December 2016 Goals and Some Thoughts for 2017

Pure Barre Goal: 1 time for a total of 53 tucks in 2016.

CrossFit Goal: 160/200 WODs. I went to class 14 times, one of which was a drop-in at CrossFit Downtown Atlanta.

I PR'd my Kelly time at 26:44 Rx while injured on 12/28/16. Kelly is 5RFT 400 m run, 30 box jumps (24/20), and 30 wallballs (20/14). My old time from 1/31/15 is 31:29 Rx and I didn't have a shooting pain up my back. My back is getting better and I have been scaling most of the workouts. I did step ups instead of rebounding on the box jumps. I have been going really light on the weights each day.

We got some brand new Lynx barbells and they are gorgeous.

Mileage Goal: I ran 10.8 miles this month for a total of 154 miles for the year. I chuckle because I used to run this in a month. The other day someone decided to lie to me about our evening plans and so I left my car at his place. When we ended up at the bar DIRECTLY DOWN THE STREET from my apartment, I was pissed. One and a half miles of this total mileage is me running back down the Beltline to pick up my car the next morning. I think this was just his way of making sure I came back.

Shit Happens aka My Morning in the ER

I spend a lot of time being told that CrossFit is dangerous. That's different than when someone interested in CrossFit asks me if it's dangerous. I'm talking about when random guys on Tinder, some guy my sister dated, the bartender at bartaco, and some drunk dude at Tin Roof Cantina all decide that it is their duty to inform me that CrossFit is going to kill me. Is there some inherent risk involved? Sure. Will it kill you? Well, how stupid and how stubborn are you?

DayQuil is the Best Pre-Workout

I spent about 24 hours in the great state of New Jersey and came back with a terrible cold. I was just minding my own business, sitting in the exit row, looking at dick pics on my phone when I realized my eyes were watery, my throat was scratchy, and my nose was running. Earlier that morning, as I sat trying to keep warm while waiting for the train from Newark to Trenton, a preacher came by and started talking about eternal damnation for people who look at dirty images. I guess this is my punishment?

My 3.5 Year CrossFit Anniversary is Saturday

So I was reading a member spotlight in another box's newsletter yesterday and the member says of her changes: "I can lift my stereotypically overpacked suitcase into the trunk of an Uber without the driver's assistance. They're always like 'let me help you with that' and I tell them 'NO I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF!'" And I felt exactly the same way. I was so dang proud of myself when I could casually toss my ridiculous suitcases above my seat on the LIRR. While I can certainly still carry my own luggage or multiple cases of seltzer in from the car, proving I can isn't that important to me. If you offer to help, go for it. That being said, I enjoyed watching two guys from PetSmart struggle with Daisy Mae's condo and was like here, let me do it. As they protested, I picked it up, loaded it into the car, and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving.

Some other things have changed in the years that I've been doing CrossFit. Six months into CrossFit and I was fitting into jeans I bought when I was 13. Three years and six months into CrossFit and I just don't fit in jeans.

Houston and a Drop-In at CrossFit Downtown Atlanta

Hey y'all. Last week I was in Houston for a program monitoring site visit with some grant officers. I didn't realize how stressed I was about it until it started going well. I don't think they're taking my money away just yet.

Because it's totally normal to weigh your sashimi at the sushi bar. I love going to Oishii whenever I'm in Houston.

I didn't workout Wednesday through Friday and it began to drive me crazy. I should have gone to the gym instead of the hotel bar on Wednesday night. Oops.

I Did EVERYTHING This Weekend

I accomplished so much this weekend. After having my ass kicked at Friday's WOD, I powered through a work day that was defined by excessive amounts of coffee and a stupid federal website being down. Fighting with that thing was a true delight. I went out for drinks at the Lawrence, made the poor decision to try multiple selections off of their cocktail menu, and then finished up the night at The Highlander with my neighbors. Saying I was overserved is probably putting it lightly.

I ordered one of these as a road soda on Friday. It was pretty tasty.

Maybe It's Actually Winter

This morning my alarm went off at 5:45 AM again and I was committed to making it to the box. Blaine's my favorite coach. Blaine coaches in the early morning. This is my motivation to get out of my nice warm bed, put on pants (I hate pants), and go out into the frigid Georgia morning. It's been even better since I started having to clean up a crate before I can leave. Poor Daisy Mae.

This morning was not my jam. Snatches are hard. Overhead squats are hard. I don't have muscle-ups and subbed 3 pull-ups and 3 ring-dips for each muscle-up. I have to use a band for ring-dips. It was basically an entire morning of highlighting shit I have to work on. I got 4 rounds plus 10 overhead squats in 12 minutes. I wasn't moving very fast but I did all of the OHS unbroken and never dropped off the pull-up bar between pull-ups. Small victories.

I always feel like a beautiful dalmatian when I wear those leggings and the matching sports bra. That's my new Cashel hoodie, also from Fabletics. Unfortunately it's already sold out, or I would highly recommend it. It's fitted and warm but not bulking or restricting.

I'm 90% sure Trump won the election in response to this bullshit color of the year combo. That caption pretty much sums up how Pepe the Frog started a movement. Let that be a lesson to you Pantone. You should have picked Scuba Blue!

How the Hell is it December?

Seriously, how is it December? I still have shit on my to-do list from August.

It's a beautiful day in Atlanta and I had a blast at Country Cardio Thursday this morning. It's an actual thing on Thursdays at CrossFit Identity. Apparently none of us can be trusted to take rest days on our own, so Brandon programs active recovery stuff and we listen to country music. A lot of people don't show up on Thursdays. Might be the cardio or the country.

Today was my jam - 4 rounds for time of a 400 m run, 20 American kettlebell swings (32/16 kg), and 10 burpee box jumps (24/20"). It took me 15:28. It was so cold this morning that I almost kept my clothes on during the workout, but I took of my shirts (a tank and a longsleeve, I told you it was cold!) after the last run. I just can't do burpees efficiently if I'm wearing a shirt.

I practiced strict pull-ups today for skill work and got 3 singles. I also tried to boulder the bench and I am so fucking close. I just about had it yesterday and I'm going to get it this month.

In other good news, it looks like my appetite is back. I came home, made eggs, heated up some veggies, and I cleaned my plate. I'm not dying after all.