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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Do You

Lately I've been on a big self-improvement kick. I dutifully show up to twice a week therapy and talk about how I'm going to be different. I set goals for myself and pretend that I am going to keep up with them. Stop drinking soda. Give up Slurpees. Try to quit smoking. Lose 15 lbs. Stop being a narcissist with commitment issues who takes pleasure in other people's unhappiness. Well today I'm saying enough. I like smoking, consuming more caffeine that humanly possible, and having the ability to feel nothing at all.

I think we should take a moment to recognize Tilikum, the biggest, baddest Orca whale in captivity. It's been nearly three years since he's drowned someone, but don't for an instant believe that he's not thinking about it. Do you think he cares that he's vilified in the media? Hell no. After a timeout period, he gets returned to the main tank and goes back to entertaining hundreds of thousands of tourists who are all giddy to see Shamu. And this whale has a sense of humor as he gave Dine with Shamu new meaning when he dragged his trainer around in his mouth during one dinner in February 2010.

Tilikum proves that if you're pretty enough, people will excuse your actions, and let you keep doing you.
So I'm putting an end to this nonsense and I'm doing what I want to do, which is pretty much working long hours, running long distances, refusing moderation, and accepting that my initial reaction to almost everything is, "Who the fuck cares? Quick! Choose an acceptable emotion to display."

And WTF is up with Red Bull Zero? I was really expecting zero calories not zero sugar.


  1. I am always trying to self improve as well but end up back on the old wagon sooner rather than later. Oh well- screw it!

    1. Do you Hannah. Do you.

      You really cannot change if you're doing it for other people or because you think you should do it. You have to want to be different. It's one thing to set goals, but "self-improvement" is a load of crap in my opinion.


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