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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Random Photos from June 2013

This morning I was WIDE AWAKE at 5:37 AM. So I did my hair, put on make-up, read Run Eat Repeat, cleaned my toilet, and went through my June Photostream. Here are some photos I found that are interesting but haven't really applied to any other post.

Earlier this month I was in San Diego and we went to a Padres game. Yup, I got paid to go to a Padres game. Life hasn't been this good since I was paid to take children to see Madagascar 2.

Padres vs. the Braves
The Padres won but I was torn between rooting for the home team or the team of my future home.
Atlanta May 2014 or bust.
a Starbucks gold card
I think Starbucks is pretty gross but I am impressed that my colleague Andrew has one.
I explicitly said I was uncomfortable with driving the new teachers around San Diego because I was completely unfamiliar with the city's roads and highways. I thought this meant I could avoid driving in California entirely. But then we, and by we I mean everyone besides me, decided we needed to return the rental cars at midnight. Since I never switched time zones, it felt like 3 AM. I was terrified and didn't know the speed limit so I drove a New York-approved 55 miles per hour on the freeway. Other drivers hated me so much that they got into the breakdown lane to cut me off.

No, that's cool. I'm exhausted, terrified, and potentially still a little tipsy from Fireball shots on the beach.
(I actually was completely sober to drive as it had been over 5 hours since I enjoyed the delicious cinnamon treat.)
My coworker and I decided to get after it in the airport bar the next day. Hoorah for Bloody Mary's. Katie had a different flight to NY than me so I found a new friend to drink with. If there is a Marine, I will find him.

Maybe it's the haircut I am attracted to?
Obviously my connecting flight was delayed and to add insult to injury, my plane was not departing from the mecca of awesomeness known as Delta Gate G (iPads, drink service, outlets galore), but rather from the unwanted stepchild of the airport, Gate C. The nearest bar was so far away from my gate that I was warned I wouldn't hear announcements. This significantly curtailed my alcohol intake... until my flight.

I was seated with a Stamford MBA candidate who asked about the logo on my t-shirt. Turns out someone I used to work with is in his cohort. Bobby is in NY for the summer working at a start-up. After the most entertaining 2 hour flight ever, I asked him to be my summer best friend.

He's 6'4.5" so he had to crouch down to get us into the same frame.
I celebrated my return to NY pretty hard that night. When I arrived at my apartment the next morning, a dead rat was outside in the street. This is what happens when your super dies.

I started sending this photo to unwanted booty texts.
I kept wondering why my pocketbook was so heavy.
Turns out I carried around an apple from San Diego for over a week.
I keep telling myself it's time to start cooking dinner again.
I recently had the exterminator come to my apartment. For some reason I thought this would kill the cockroaches in the wall (WHERE THEY BELONG!) but oh no. I came home to find a semi-alive cockroach dying in the middle of my kitchen. Every time someone moves out of one of the apartments upstairs, these nasty creatures make an appearance. I screamed, I took this photo, I texted it to every guy I know that lives within a block of my apartment begging for help. One was at dinner (dick), one was speaking to his heterosexual life partner about business on the phone (isn't he a writer?), and the other's phone was busy when I tried repeatedly calling it. What good are all of you if you're not available to kill and dispose of cockroaches?!

God hates me.
I try not to drink juice but sometimes I just love green juice. I woke up on Saturday in dire need of the stuff and remembered Green Wagon Market has a juice bar. I ordered a green mix (all veggies) and asked to add a green apple so it would be a little tart. It was delicious.

I've never hopped on the Blueprint Cleanse bandwagon, but I bought this other day at Fairway and it was pretty tasty. An unnecessary source of calories so I don't plan on adding it to my regular diet.

I tend to get a lot of questions about why I go to my parents' so much. Beautiful home with a beautiful yard near a beach vs. 240 sq. ft. studio on the UES with no roof or deck access. Is this even a competition?

jorts, seltzer, golf on tv #winning weekend
The other night I went back to my office for a little bit after CrossFit. Since it's in the same building, it's really no skin off my nose to check my email and close out on California work before I go home for the night. Unfortunately this completely dicked over my commute home - no C train or M79 in sight.

This woman was in a terry cloth robe dress, legit gardening clogs, and dragging around the bags that scream HOMELESS. Every homeless person in this city who doesn't have a shopping cart or a collection of garbage bags uses these totes. You know who else owns a bunch of them? My father, who thinks they are the best beach bags ever. After some intense thought on the matter, I decided that this woman was awfully tan and looked and smelled rather clean, so she was probably coming back from the beach. Or she was homeless. Hard to tell.

No one is safe when I have my iPhone.
Lauren and I went for a walk when I finally got home and then we went grocery shopping. I am such a real person these days. I didn't get into the shower until close to midnight and as I was getting out, I heard a loud crash. I braced myself, knowing that this was the day someone finally threw a brick through my window and had climbed into my apartment intent on dismembering me, but when I opened the bathroom door, no one was there.

The light fixture, however, was on my kitchen floor. (What the hell is with all of these unwanted things appearing in the kitchen?!)

I leave my sweaty clothes to dry out while I shower and then  put them in the hamper.
Obviously my immediate response was to call my best friend and tell her about the paranormal activity taking place in my apartment. My dead super's spirit was communicating with me and I needed her advice on who to contact. I mean, I would love to have the Long Island Medium come and communicate with Alex's spirit, but I'm sure she's pretty booked.

Upon closer inspection, I saw that the ceramic piece that held the light fixture in place had melted but I'm sure that was Alex's intention all along.


  1. You're moving to Hotlanta!!!! WHAT???????? This is the best news ever. I'll move down there too, so you can kick my butt into shape!

    1. I plan to move there next year. I really enjoyed the city when I was there in April and I miss my friend Anna who lives there.


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