Friday Confessional

I have a confession to make. I used to like musicals A LOT. I've seen Annie Get Your Gun, Camelot, Carousel, Cats, Footloose, Grease (twice), Guys and Dolls (at least twice), Jersey Boys, Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, The King and I, Les Miserables (three times), The Music Man, Oklahoma!, Once Upon a Mattress, Peter Pan, The Phantom of the Opera, Ragtime (twice, it wasn't any better the second time), The Red Shoes, and I can't remember if I saw South Pacific or just memorized the soundtrack. I even went to, wait for it, musical theatre camp.

Now I hate musicals. Everything about them makes me uncomfortable. Why are they breaking into song? And why are they smiling so wide? Is it time for intermission? Can I sneak out at intermission? I went to Jersey Boys last year somewhat against my will and I promptly closed my eyes and pretended I was just listening to Frankie Valli, whom I love dearly. A couple of uncomfortable hours later (anyone else notice that the actress that played his heroin addicted daughter also played the dancer/prostitute that wanted him to cheat on his wife?), and I was telling myself that at least it wasn't The Lion King or Rent. God, I cannot imagine a worse musical experience than Rent.

It's not an, "I would prefer not to see a musical" reaction but rather a, "Perhaps you'd prefer taking turns stabbing each other in the arms with scissors" reaction when someone even mentions that we might have to go near Broadway for any other reason than Del Frisco's. Why do I hate musicals so much? Because the chubby kid who wore scarves around her neck, preferred The Four Seasons to Bush, and couldn't climb a freaking rope loved musicals. And I think 98% of my issues have stemmed from trying to be the antithesis of her. I think it's time to get over this. So if anyone wants to help me conquer my aversion to musicals, or just wants to be entertained by the look of fear and disdain that will cross my face the moment I see crushed red velvet seats, let me know.

Yesterday Selby and I went to CrossFit together because we hadn't trained at the same time in what felt like forever. I'm not exactly sure why he continues to put up with me, because God knows I would not, but I am blessed by his infinite patience and willingness to tolerate my shenanigans.

BARBELL GYMNASTICS
POWER SNATCH AND SNATCH BALANCE
Every minute on the minute for 5 rounds: perform 1 power snatch plus 1 snatch balance, AHAP, no misses.
EMOM for 5. No Misses.

POWER CLEAN. SPLIT JERK. JERK BALANCE.
Every minute on the minute for 5 rounds: perform 1 power clean and split jerk, then 2 jerk balances. AHAP, with no misses.

CONDITIONING
MU BURPEE (TIME)
For time:
12 Muscle-Ups
20 Burpee Lateral Box Jumps 20
9 Muscle-Ups
20 Burpee Lateral Box Jumps 20
6 Muscle-Ups
20 Burpee Lateral Box Jumps 20

Burpee Lateral Box Jumps: Burpee beside box, jump laterally to the other side touching on top, Burpee on the other side. Each Burpee counts one rep. *Sub 1 pull up and 1 push up per muscle up*

I used 50# for the power snatch and snatch balance and 55# for the power clean, split jerk, jerk balances. And I used the big girl bar instead of loading up the training bar because I need to get over my aversion to it. I'm telling you, it is far easier to snatch a 10# bar with 20# on either side than it is to snatch a 35# (okay 33#) bar with 7.5# on either side. Try it and tell me that I am wrong.

Jhon's ass is looking great these days.

I subbed underhanded pull-ups with a blue band and push-ups for the muscle-ups. Because I struggle to follow simple directions, even when I write them on the white board slate next to me, I ended up doing 12 pull-ups, 20 burpee lateral box jumps, 9 pull-ups, 20 burpee lateral box jumps, 21 push-ups, 6 pull-ups, 6 push-ups, and 20 burpee lateral box jumps. 11 minutes 53 seconds followed by 6 minutes lying on the floor.

I don't really take my shirt off anymore when working out unless we're doing burpee lateral box jumps. I don't know what it is about them, but I always feel like my shirt is choking me and I have to take it off or I am doing to die. I knew I looked bloated (thank you Chinese food!) and gross, but if I'm going to perform better, whatever. But then I saw the photo of me below and I was like efff, princess looks fat.

Who the fuck cares?

And so I've decided to stop wearing a shirt next week to CrossFit. Just a sports bra and shorts the entire week because who is judging me besides me? (Probably everyone but the point of this is to stop caring about what other people are thinking.) And it might help me to say no to Chinese food if I don't have a nice roomy American Apparel t-shirt to hide in the next day.

and this isn't even my ugly Christmas sweater