So I Haven't Been to the Gym Since Wednesday... I Blame My Phone

My favorite method of flirting is via text message. That little ping of seduction has me scurrying across my classroom faster than a fire drill, excited to see what mildly racy comment I have received. In the interest of time management, I once changed the alert for potential Romeos from my usual text sound, but it really took the fun out of the day. I mean, what interest did I have in reading any of my other text messages if I wasn't at least partially convinced that they came from a good-looking, emotionally unavailable boy? I promptly changed the sounds back, and now I get the "Maybe it's him!" feeling hundreds of times a day, even if it ends up just being my boss.

The possibility of racy text message receiving increases as the number of senders rises. This is why it is important to have at least five racy text message relationships at any one time. You should only see one of these senders in person though. You can allot him a certain amount of time before putting him on the back burner, and moving on to someone else. I recommend a week. I think a week is a fair amount of time for an in-person racy text message-resulted relationship. After that the boy is either not emotionally unavailable - interest level rapidly dropping - or you run the risk of triple-booking an afternoon and then things can get sticky.

Change the setting on your phone so only the sender appears. Racy text messages sometimes include photos. You do not want your boss, parents, co-workers (children?), or other racy text message senders to see these photos. Hell, good racy text messengers have a way with words - you don't want these people to see those either.

Don't smile at your text messages. Happiness invites questioning. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies.

WARNING: Racy text messages can have a negative effect on your schedule. They are the reason I keep missing yoga.  Oops.