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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Monday, March 26, 2012

White Knee Socks

My new vision hasn't helped my running outfits. Today I got out of work at a reasonable hour, and made it out to run at a little after 6.

Yeah, there aren't any shin guards in there.

It was a lot colder today than I had believed (denial?) and I really dislike pants. I solved this little issue by wearing my sweet compression socks. These look really different on that Shalane Flanagan.


My ensemble looks a lot like my old soccer uniform. Or at least what it looked like a few years after this photo was taken.

I eventually made the A team.
I ran a little over 4 miles. Obviously I paused my Garmin at 2.20 and forgot to restart it. Story of my life.

I hope I didn't break my eyes. The website said I could resume light exercise within two days of the procedure. I consider 4 miles at 8:01 average pace light exercise, but perhaps my doctor would disagree. I did wear the sunglasses they gave me to protect my eyes.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

I Can See!

Yesterday I had LASIK eye surgery. I am beyond thrilled with the results.

I went to Dello Russo Laser Vision and Dr. Jeffrey Dello Russo performed my surgery.

The actual procedure took less than five minutes. The numbing eye drops made the surgery painless, but I felt discomfort after it wore off.

Aren't you dying to wake up next to that?
This morning I woke up and I could read the time on my tv for the first time since high school. It was 5:32 AM. I can see incredibly well now and was showing off my ability to read small text at the grocery store today.

I wear my sunglasses at night.

No more eyeglasses! I will need to sleep with those super cool goggles for two weeks, and I can't wear eye makeup for two weeks either. I also have three kinds of eye drops I need to use for nine days, but maintenance is nothing compared to being free of contacts.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Crappy Run

My alarm went off at 5 for a run with T. I had forgotten (again) that I needed to be up early and had spent way too much timing watching tv last night. I felt like crud, but I hauled myself up at got dressed.

My Garmin didn't register the run from my apartment to the park so add 1.3 miles please. Has anyone else living in Manhattan or other cities with tall buildings figured out a way to get their device to locate satellites easily? Do I need to turn it on everyday, even when I'm not running?

T and I met by the entrance at 72nd Street and headed up towards the Harlem Hills. I had to wear my glasses because I can't wear my contacts this week and T was wearing hers because she has pink eye. Yup, sorry T. I just told the whole world you have pink eye. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I used to have it all the time when I was teaching.

My legs felt dead, my brain was fuzzy, and my glasses kept fogging up. And then I had to use the bathroom. I'm usually pretty lucky. I'm a regular person without having to resort to Activia (is anyone else really grossed out by Jamie Lee Curtis telling them to eat yogurt and then promising that if they don't take a poop, they can get a refund on the yogurt?), and my schedule seems to work around my workouts. Not today. I decided to cut my run short and head back along the 72nd traverse. Good thing I did.

Thank God for the Boathouse bathroom.

Feeling much lighter (God, I'm gross), I ran up to 79th and exited the park. The picture below accurately captures what I could see wearing my fogged up, rainy glasses. I'm never running in those again. I mean it.

Moments after I left, T stepped in horse shit. It really was a crappy run.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Professor Runs the NYC Half

While I was enjoying my last morning in Florida, the Professor took on the NYC Half Marathon. Please enjoy In Shape Out of Mind's very first guest post.

This Sunday I ran the NYC Half Marathon and I shattered my PR. I ran a 1:51:23, which is 8:00 minutes and change faster than my previous half marathon PR. Woot. Maybe it was worth not going out on St. Patrick's Day. Although seeing through sober eyes those Long Island and New Jersey animals stumble around Manhattan during this day is enough to make me question the holliday altogether, and I use that term loosely.

This year I am trying to only run Saturday races because Sunday races kill your weekend. But I hadn’t ever run the NYC half so I made an exception when I was lucky enough to make the lottery.

I woke from anxious dreams at about 6:15 am. I already had my outfit laid out because I am a sick tool.  I wore my Dylan Murphy's shirt (my standard racing shirt and favorite bar in NYC – ISOOM would agree) on top of a teck shirt from last December's Jingle Bell jog that I did not run in because I stayed out the night before. It's a bit of a sacrilege to wear a race shirt from a race you slept through but I am not going to turn down a teck shirt and especially one that is cool and white. So whatever.

I live only a couple of blocks from where most NYRR races start, so I can’t complain. This race was no exception. My neighbor just happened to be running this race as well, so we bumped into each in the hallway. This is the only situation where bumping into my neighbor at 6:30 am would be a positive thing.
The corrals were awful and it was cold. This is a huge race with tons of people, which just makes everything more annoying. And there is soemthing about running that makes people dress like Europeans. Don’t get me wrong, many of the girls on the North Brooklyn running team wear really hot outfits. But there are also many runners – especially male – who fail to meet basic wardrobe standards. Tights shall not replace shorts, unless you are rowing or biking.  Long tshirts are for girls.  Shaving your legs is for girls.  Being a premadonna at 6:30 am while everyone else is waking up is not acceptable.

I am the creepshow lurking in the back with sunglasses on. Maybe the sun will come out later. 
Before I continue I should note that the race photos in this post are taken stolen from Brightroom. Before I continue my story, here is the easiest way to steal these photos and keep them high-ish quality:
1. Take a screeen shot of the Brightroom dashboard that shows your photos
2. Paste into PPT
3. Crop around your photo and expand
4. Right click and save as JPEG

To continue, they tell you that they close down the corrals at 7:00 am but they are liars. You could definitely show up at 7:30 and walk right in. There was a lot of waiting around, and I did not cross the start line until 7:50 even though I had a half-way decent corral.

Can you tell which green bump is Harlem Hill?
The first 6+ miles was the standard central park loop. This is my home field so I was really able to attack it.  I know all the hills and bumps that feel like hills when you start to get tired. I also knew that this was the only part of the race with any hills so I might as well leave it all in the park.

Crossing the 10k mark right before 7th ave. Still not sunny out. 
After the park I slowed down. The course shoots you out onto 7th avenue and you run through Times Square.  I was underwhelmed. When you are on the street in New York you are typically in a cab zooming, and so to pass the street signs at a running pace is a bit deflating. Plus I was at the half-way mark and that is when I start to get inside my head and convince myself I won’t finish or will finish with a bad time. For me those middle miles are the hardest.

On 42nd we turned right and headed for the West River Drive. I know this terrain extremely well, as I work in the West Village and frequently run home up the West River. We were on the actual drive though so it wasn't nearly as sexy as when you run through the actual park and over all the weird foot bridges. ISOOM has a past post on this. I am featured so it’s probably one of her better ones.

I realize I am about to complain again but whatever. They stationed a bunch of bands along the course and they were all awful – with TWO exceptions. The first was a Beasty Boys cover band who was awesome and entertaining. They dressed like they did from Paul's Boutique. That said, I was running with headphones on because none of my friends wanted to do this one, so the added music of the live bands just created an annoying discord.

The second though was a cheer…I want to say squad? from some local high school. Of course I assume they are from some impoverished district and worked real hard to get to where they are and overcame adversity and stuff, but who am I kidding I bet they were probably a bunch of Chapin Spence girls.  Regardless of my charmingly patrician stereotyping, they were cool and gave everyone a nice boost as we crossed 14th street with 3.1 miles to go.

At this point I knew that if I even ran 10:00 miles I would beat my PR, and that was the best feeling I had in the race. I could dial it in. I didn’t though and kept up a fastish pace.

Until the Battery Park tunnel. That you run through. On mile 12. People were hooting and hollering like 12 year olds do when you pass under bridges on boats, which was cute. But the air quality was horrible and the lingering exhaust stung my eyes and shortened my breath. Lame. There was also a slight hill at the end. But then we veered left and right onto Water Street to meet extremely encouraging cheers and applause. That was cool.

After crossing the finish they gave you a medal and foodstuffs. I believe medals should only be given for full marathons, so I told myself I wouldn’t wear it unless I did something great. A time of 1:51 far exceeded my expectations though so I threw it on. The care package contained Gatorade Replenish. DO NOT DRINK THIS. It's crab juice. It tastes like chalky cough syrup.

The finishers shoot looped you more than THREE BLOCKS before you could leave. And they forced you in to the Poland Spring expo which I thought was a cheap move. At that point I was cold and wanted to go home.

ISOOM asked me what my favorite part of the race was and I don’t have one other than the accomplishment itself.  I hear a lot of people talk about the joys of running and I have to believe that most people who say that are idiots or liars or both. Running is hard work. It is painful. Long distance running is hard, painful work stretched out over several hours.

I shattered my PR. I was very unsure I could do that. I trained hard to give myself the opportunity to do so, and it paid off. That is something awesome.

Calling in the PR. Still cloudy.
Also see the bandit in the background getting stopped. 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Hello Highline

I work right by Penn Station and run by the Westside Highway, but somehow I had never been on the Highline until tonight. I entertained crazy ideas of getting out of work by 5 (hah!) but refused to stay inside once I realized it was going to be another late night in the office. My coworker invited me to join her and her friend for a walk on the Highline. Good thing I keep a drawer full of workout clothes and extra sneakers in my desk. It was beautiful out!

Not the Highline.

We decided that we wanted to continue our walk and headed over to the path along the highway. I was really itching to run once I saw everyone else running. I'm glad I didn't though because my Achilles keeps tightening up. Speaking of seeing everyone, I spotted at least 3 people I know including my friend Trey. What's the protocol on greeting runners when you're walking? I don't like being interrupted when I'm running, so unless I can wave to you when you're coming straight on, I'm probably not going to say hi.

This very cute runner passed us twice and said hi to me. If you're reading this and you're that good looking blond guy, hey there and let's get sweaty together. (Awkward?)


The Garmin says we walked 5.24 miles but it took about 2 avenues to locate its satellites. I'd say we were closer to 5.5. Not bad. What I didn't realize is that your fingers swell when you walk. Something about the way you hd your arms. Why is that?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Eating on Vacation

I don't know about you, but I get really frustrated with my meals on vacation. Dinner is supposed to be expensive, eventful, and too many calories, but what the hell are you supposed to do for the other two meals?

I've started stocking the room's mini fridge with Fage yogurt and fruit. In the morning I order coffee and silverware and then I'm all set.

For lunch I typically eat by the pool or at the beach. Yesterday I went with a turkey burger and fries. I only ate half the bun but to be honest, I should've skipped the bread entirely and substituted a side salad for the fries. Princess is looking a little thick in her bikini these days.

That's another great thing about vacation. Eating in your bikini is great motivation to put down the fork and pick up the cigarettes, I mean do something active.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Beach Run

My dad and I arrived in Florida yesterday for our father/daughter vacation. We're at La Playa in Naples. Now don't all of you start showing up and stalking me. By the way, I'm sitting by the pool. (I'm not going to find this funny when my life turns into a Without a Trace storyline.)

People must think I'm nuts as I take pictures of myself sweating.
I woke up this morning confused by my lack of a hangover. Warm weather plus hotel screams blinding headache to me. I took advantage of my clear head, threw on shorts and a sports bra (my neon yellow C9 gear) and walked the 16 feet to the beach.


I did a 5 mile run on the sand. I think it's pretty difficult to run on sand so I started cheating and ran on the wet packed sand. A lot of people wear shoes to run on the beach but I prefer to run barefoot. This can be hazardous as I now have sand in my blister and it's probably going to stay there int September.


Yes, I wore my Garmin. No, I did not wear shoes. Yes, I have a sweet sports bra tan.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Post-Bender Gym Sesh

So it's no secret that I drink... a lot. I manage to make it to work on time (frequently early!), call my mother daily, and I can run a 50K. If I can take 18 minutes of my marathon while single-handedly keeping Dewars in business, I think I am entitled to behave in any fashion that I want. If that means that my super sees me twice a weekend just to change my clothes, so be it.

Today I was back at work, facing another 12 hour day (yes, I am also a workaholic), and I dominated my performance review. Booyah! I decided that retoxing in celebration was probably not the best decision, and headed to Equinox for a little latenight sweat session.

I started off with 25 minutes on the cross ramp. I don't particularly care for the dreadmill and the cross ramp keeps me entertained. My Achilles has been acting like a bitch, and I figured the dreadmill would just kill it.

Maybe running around town in these this weekend has something to do
with my lingering Achilles pain... nah.
Sweating is the best thing to restart your work-week after spending your weekend in fur and reindeer ears and  falling crawling out a window to smoke a pack of cigarettes.

It upsets me that the giraffe always has to sit in the corner.
I rocked out to some Cut Copy and Neon Indian and got my cardio on. I didn't push myself particularly hard, but I figured I made it to the gym and I shouldn't test to see if my heart would give out. No one likes to see a girl keel over in the middle of the gym.

The guy on the cross ramp next to me teared up while watching Ben propose to rabbit mouth Courtney on The Bachelor. I was furiously booty texting. So um yeah. Apparently you shouldn't tell someone he should stop acting like a dick and start using his more often if you'd like him to come over later. Oops.

I just couldn't get a clear shot of this guy as
he went to get a tissue to dab away his tears.
I did some upper body work. I brought the new Oxygen to the gym but it seemed like every article required the cable machine and I just wasn't in the mood to struggle to figure out how to set that thing up by myself. I used 15 and 10 lbs weights to bang out some shoulder, tricep, and bicep moves. Regretted being an ├╝ber bitch because I could tell I was definitely not getting laid after running my mouth (or would that be my fingers? Yes, I insult via text.)

I did some squat kicks and moved onto my trusty adductor and abductor machines. Then I took some creepy photos of myself.

I'm going to get myself arrested when they finally
catch me taking pictures in the locker room.
I should've manned up and did some ab work but I was ready to peace out and the showers had already closed so I needed to head home, or otherwise you wouldn't be getting this post. It's time to get out of these sweaty clothes, but I will leave you with this piece of awesomeness.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Homeless or Nature Enthusiast?

We're in Denver for the Regional Admin Conference. Booyah! This is my first conference ever (like the DOE would send me anywhere) and I am super excited and I'm presenting a session on Thursday. I'm cool like that.

We landed and it was beautiful, sunny, and in the 60s. Although I'm a little sore from the 50K, I couldn't pass up a chance to run. The concierge recommended this path along the Speer creek or river or whatever this body of water is called. It was a pleasant path, but it didn't let me see any of Denver. Fail.


I quickly realized that my left Achilles and my right IT band are a little pissed at me. I did 5 miles anyway. Since there wasn't much to look at, I took an interest in the other people who were out. People were running, cycling, walking their dogs, and sitting on the bank of the creek (?).

Yes. 70 degrees one day, and snow the next two.
In the sunniest city in the country.
The non-athletes really caught my eye. Some of them were obviously students or professionals enjoying the weather, but others might have been homeless. I stress might. The homeless people in Denver sure don't look like the homeless in New York. That's where homeless or nature enthusiast was born. My foot hurt for all 50 some odd minutes of my run, but at least I was entertained.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Want to know about the Caumsett 50K?

I completed my first road 50K on March 4, 2012. If you're interested in hearing about 5 hours, 8 minutes, and 44 seconds of running, post your questions below!

Check out those 5K splits.
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