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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

She's a Beast

Muscle does not weigh more than fat. It is denser than fat. Five pounds of muscle on one scale will weigh the same as five pounds of fat on another scale. If I hear one more person say that muscle is heavier than fat, I will beat them with a PVC pipe.

So last week a guy I went to college with sends me a Facebook message asking me if I were running a half marathon that upcoming weekend. I was not. I told him I had pretty much given up running in favor of CrossFit. He then tells me that he went to Brick with his business partner 2 weeks before, had a great time, and was still sore. Now we all know that I love a run down play by play, of people's workouts. I find it genuinely interesting. You can spend 15 minutes telling me why you chose not to put an additional 10 pounds on the bar and I will listen enthralled and might even ask clarifying questions. This guy I went to college with wasn't really able to articulate what they did that day but he knew it was hard.

Now I like this kid just fine. I wouldn't consider him to be a close friend or anything, but I've known him for many years and I think he is good stuff. So the transcript below of the next part of our conversation is not to be viewed as my opinion of him or an indication that I am mad at him or anyone else. I thought it was interesting that he chose the words he chose and the reaction that I had.

GUY: never been into lifting actually...always had lotta of natural muscle so more into cardio and sculpting
GUY: even tho my biz partner is adamant that lifting is still the best for cardio

ME: what the fuck is sculpting?
ME: lifting is the best cardio

GUY: haha
GUY: guess i was wrong
GUY: u know what sculpting is
GUY: u sculpt
GUY: ...u appear quite sculpted

ME: I do not sculpt. I lift
ME: I have a 100# clean and jerk

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


I think I definitely win the title of Looks Most Adorable When Hungover.

I also won the title of Worst Wallballs 21 days into 2014. 

My next title better be 1st place scaled. I am officially registered to compete on a co-ed scaled team of four at the Frostbite 2014 on February 22. I have one month to get good at wallballs and give up drinking. Wish me luck.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Rachel's Birthday WOD

I found myself Saturday morning at 6:25 AM, drinking seltzer and trying to First Aid my finger so that I could properly attend Rachel's 9 AM birthday WOD. I made some bacon, cursed the theatre gods for making Rachel have rehearsal that afternoon, and forced my slightly hungover body into skinny jeans.

I hate when it's too early to wear sunglasses without people assuming I have a drug problem
No one should ever have to see this.

Saturday, January 18, 2014


I needed something to read on the train out to Long Island and I found my copy of Daring Greatly by BrenĂ© Brown on my desk at work. We were supposed to read it for our team stepbacks until restructuring broke up the team and that was the end of bettering ourselves book club. The book is about vulnerability and learning to tell shame to shut the fuck up. I hate admitting it, but I actually really do like it.

Today I read the section on how men and women react differently to shame. According to Brown, a lot of the shame we experience results from us feeling like we're not living up to the stereotypical expectations for our respective genders that we have bought into and been socialized to value. I don't feel much pressure to be feminine, to be seen as effortlessly perfect, domestic, or nurturing. What I did find myself resonating with was the expectations described for men - strong, in charge, never showing weakness, not being a pussy. Hell, I told someone to stop being a pussy this morning.

Then there was a whole section on shame, sex, rejection, and back fat and it got me thinking about my recent negativity towards my own body. I might have shown my narcissistic colors this week on Facebook, but the gremlins even get to me from time to time.

Friday, January 17, 2014

CYC with Keoni Hudoba

The best part of being known for being a social media fitness whore who shares every sweaty moment of her life? Your friends invite you to fun free workouts.

My buddy Ryan sent me an email with instructions to sign up for a free CYC class last week. Since I like Ryan and I like spinning, I was all over it as fast as my hungover brain could process the sign-up process. I had never heard of CYC (maybe because I've become mildly obsessed with CrossFit), so I did some brief internet research to see what I had gotten myself into.

What the website has to say:

Personal Trainer Designed
The signature Cyc Method, designed by Keoni Hudoba, an Under Armour-sponsored athlete, offers an exhilarating beat-based 45 minute ride that activates the whole-body, the whole time.

Sports Specific Sectors
By incorporating weights through sectors inspired by more than 20 different sports moves, the Cyc experience takes the boutique indoor cycling studio concept beyond the bike.

Social Fitness
Cyc is a collective of fitness-minded people who just so happen to be on a bike. We connect people inside and outside the studios through our lounge space, events and social tools.

Ride for Change
When you ride at Cyc, you ride for change. For every mile you ride, we donate to the Cyc charity partner of your choice. We also hold private charity rides and pop-up ‘Cyc-ling’ rides at cultural events such as SXSW.

Keoni Hudoba, the creator of the CYC Method, is hot, Hawaiian, and drops the eff bomb more often than I do, so I immediately loved him. He lost 100 HUNDRED POUNDS to go on to become an Under Armour sponsored athlete, a Master Trainer for Barry’s Bootcamp, and the creator of the DRENCHED method. I love me a good success story.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Thinking About CrossFit All Day Every Day

I think about CrossFit a lot. I read about it, I write about it, I dream about it, and then I even get to do it. The other day I thought I had clicked onto the CrossFit Hell's Kitchen Facebook group because all of the posts were CrossFit related. Then I realized it was my newsfeed.

This morning I was walking into work when I saw Selby warming up at the 8 AM class so I paparazzied him. The kid to the left of him who is cut out of the picture thought I was some wahoo off the street. I was okay with that.

A little later, while standing at my desk, I received a photo of someone doing handstand pushups against a filing cabinet. Clearly the only thing to do was ask my teammate to take pictures of me doing a headstand in our chute.

New Found Necessities

I wore all of these shoes today.
When I first started CrossFit, I wouldn't let myself buy a pair of Nanos because I felt like I had to earn them. I showed up everyday in shorts, a tank, and a sports bra and an old pair of Nike Frees or my racing flats, carrying a water bottle. Pretty simple. But then I felt like I had earned a pair of Nanos so I bought myself a pair. 

Around the same time, I decided I needed to bring my tape with me just in case I needed it mid-WOD. (I've been carrying fabric medical tape in my bag for years. If you want to be the most popular person at the party, pull out a roll when someone inevitably starts bleeding, breaks a toe, or needs to reattach their flip flops.) And I've always had an obsession with keeping Chapstick near me so that started coming down the stairs too.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Night Gone Bad

Last Friday night was everything I ever dreamed of and more. I honestly cannot think of anything I'd rather being doing on a Friday evening than CrossFit Hell's Kitchen Disco WOD. Yes. You read that correctly. Disco. WOD.

2fer Wall Balls 20/14
KB Swings 32/24
Lateral Box Jumps 20″
Power Snatch 75/55
Hand Release Burpees
This is done “Fight Gone Bad” style.

3 rounds of 1 minute at each station with 1 minute of rest after completing all 5 stations.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Never-Ending Journey

I was looking for an old email the other day when I came across a message from the 24-year-old dated March 29, 2013.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Maybe Mean Kids and Killer Whales are Incorrigible

Lately I've noticed that I've been in a snippy mood and I haven't had much patience for people. I spent some time at home this weekend and at dinner we discussed how my family just isn't that nice or friendly. We all have the capacity to be nice, but no one would say that niceness is a main character trait any of us possess. The prevailing sentiment was that people that are genuinely nice and see the good in everyone are actually just naive because they don't seem to have the sense to see what people are really capable of. Or as my mother puts it, "I don't like people. I prefer cats."

Did you know that if a cat is confined in a space with its dead human owner, it will eat its owner to survive? A dog will lie down and cry next to the dead body. Survival of the fittest.

I like the idea of people, but I'm not sure I actually like people. I really like strangers and going to parties where I don't know anyone besides one other person. It's interesting to pretend to care what they have to say and then never see them again. Maybe like our old friend Tilikum, we only think that I'm safe to play with and I am actually biding my time waiting to drag your body around the pool in front of screaming children.

There's been three separate situations this week, and mind you it's not even 10 AM on Tuesday, that I have been on track to get someone to cry, mostly because I wanted to know what I ever did to make them think that I liked them or that this is a two-way street, and I stopped myself. It's like blue balls for mean kids.


Monday, January 6, 2014

Please Post in the Comment Section

Apparently I really hit a nerve with some folks with last night's post. Let me clarify a few things. One, I'm not angry or pissed off. I'm just a little surprised with how I feel about readers talking about things they have read to each other. There's also the matter of talking to me about what you read. Alyssa, you are one of my best friends. You are frequently THERE when I finish a race. Of course I appreciate your support. Kid I went to college with and see maybe twice a year, your opinion on kipping pull-ups means very little to me and why do you have my number?

One of the best things about having a blog is sharing things about myself with other people. One of the worst things about having a blog is sharing things about myself with other people. It can create a false sense of intimacy. I choose what I post on here and there's a lot that I keep to myself, which is probably shocking to you. As a blogger, how do you navigate the boundaries between online and in real life? Should I write with the assumption that everyone in my life reads my blog? Should people in my life have to accept that knowing and interacting with me makes them fair game to be on my blog? Should I be okay knowing that my blog posts might become fodder for discussion amongst people I know? Should this impact what I write about?

I'm not sure what are the answers to these questions. I don't think I've ever yelled at someone for saying nice things to me about ISOOM even if it's made me uncomfortable enough to want to do so. I really appreciate when people tell me that ISOOM inspires them to push themselves fitness-wise. I spend 23 and a half hours a day thinking about myself. The other 30 minutes I spend thinking about bacon. It's good for me to hear about other people's goals, struggles, and successes. Please post yours in the comment section.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Boundaries on the Interwebs

This post isn't about fitness so if you're looking for CrossFit selfies or blurry photos of the Central Park loop, check back later this week.


Saturday, January 4, 2014

2014 is Looking Good

We're only four days into 2014 but these four days have been pretty great. After an awesome NYE at Phish at Madison Square Garden, I woke up in my own bed and ordered Chinese. Then I got to spend some quality time with some CFHK besties before catching up on my DVR and going to bed.

I made it to CrossFit Thursday, Friday, and Saturday this week. After the WOD last night, a bunch of us headed to South's for some New Year's nachos. I had a great time, which was evident when I walked into the box this afternoon in yesterday's clothes. Walk of Shame straight to the box.

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