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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Wendy Walk


The 3rd annual Wendy Walk was held yesterday in New York. After running the four-mile Run as One race and then reading three dirty chapters of Fifty Shades of Grey, I returned to Central Park to check-in for the walk.

Trinity shot.
Obviously I was convinced to get in the center and lean down and now I have no chin.
The Wendy Walk benefits the Liddy Shriver Sarcoma Initiative. It was started by Ali and Matt Landes to raise money for sarcoma research after their mom Wendy was diagnosed with liposarcoma.

I arrived at 90th and 5th right before 11 AM (I got distracted by Fifty Shades of Grey and ended up just running from my apartment back to the park) but still had enough time to check in. I changed into my sick Wendy Walk t-shirt and bought a pair of purple Wendy Walk sunglasses.

Ali and her mom Wendy
The actual walk went through the park, passed by the zoo, and ended at 60th and 5th. I saw a lot of friends that I went to college with and haven't seen in years. It was really great to catch up with them!

The post-walk brunch was held at the Harmonie Club. Bagels, lox, and champagne? Yes please.

New York Comittee and Robert Landes
Although the walk is a positive day and based on hope, there were definitely tears when Becca's video was played. Many of Ali's friends have become involved in the planning and execution of the walk. My sorority sister Becca is one of them.

Becca winning the purple shoe award.
I was having a pretty good time so I ended up staying much longer than I had planned. I never sit through raffles, especially when I haven't purchased any raffle tickets.

Matt Landes announcing the raffle winners.
Pretty cute, no?
I was having fun finding out what everyone had been up to since 2009 (I really have been MIA for a while.) 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Downward Dog

I've gone to Alignment Flow Yoga every Tuesday for the past four weeks. Never a big fan of yoga, I'm surprised by this. Yoga takes practice and patience. You can't just force your body to do crazy things and expect a better outcome. It's almost as bad as golf in that respect. Don't get me wrong, I think the idea of yoga is wonderful. It's the actual attempt to get into pigeon pose I take issue with.

I've said before that the best way for me to get into a regular gym schedule is to make a connection with a particular class and instructor. When I lived out on Long Island, only wild dogs and extreme traffic on the Jackie Robinson kept me from going to Yves' kickboxing classes. I dug my car out of a snow bank during a snow day in order to attend, true story.

Last night I was pretty tired, and maybe nodding off at my desk, but I stayed at work until 7 because it wasn't an option to skip yoga. By adding one can't-miss class at a time, you can develop a full workout schedule.

The other nice thing about being a regular is that your instructor will start paying more attention to you. This is helpful when you need a tweak in your form or someone to force your heels down in downward dog. How many weeks do you think it's going to take for me to get my heels down on my own? I'm taking bets.

I really want these capri pants.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Mrs. Professor Ventures Outside to Run

The beautiful wife of our very own Professor surprised us all when she left the gym and ran outside. I've been trying to get her to do this for years, but now that she's running the NYRR Mini 10K, she's taken to the streets.

Mrs. Professor sent in the following op/ed. My comments are in blue.

1. No absent minded idiots wander into your path (I am one of those idiots. Sorry I text while running.)
2. There are loos nearby at all times (She's British. There are a number of bathrooms along the West Side Highway. If you're on the East River Esplanade, you can take a cue from the homeless and just drop trou.)
3. It does not rain on my treadmill (Real runners love rain.)
4. Perfectly accurate mileage reporting, no Garmin necessary (This is true, but you can't analyze your mile splits in relation to a map.)
5. Less people see me looking like a mal-cooridated fool, often no-one (The best part of running is eye-fucking other runners)
6. My gym is not open on Sunday and therefore I have no guilt about not running that day. (I'm frequently too drunk/hungover to run on Sundays, but I try to get my cardio in bed. Although I have reported that this is impossible, my current partner challenges these scientific findings.)
7. Similar to 6..It closes early, so sadly I frequently cannot go after work (Do you go before work?)
8. Hamsters are adorable and there is less air pollution inside (?) (Does Noodles go to the gym with you?)
9. There is a nice chilled water cooler with those little cups nearby (At the Island School, I learned how to run with a full Nalgene at all times. Your husband appreciates this talent as he never brings water and then gets thirsty.)
10. It is more acceptable to fall off a treadmill than just fall over while running outdoors (But you might find husband number two this way...)

Possible outdoor benefits that I will take into consideration include:
1. Ability to get from point A to B (More reliable than taxis, but then you're all sweaty when you get to B.)
2. Option to smoke (I don't think it's weird that I keep a pack of cigarettes in my running pouch. The post-run smoke is even better than the post-sex smoke, but not as good as the first cigarette of the day smoke.)
3. Sunshine (sometimes) (I mean you can run indoors with sunglasses on. I've done it.)

This is Noodles.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

So I hear you want to race...

Two of my all-time favorite readers (and favorite sorority sisters, because let's be honest, I make people read this thing) have expressed interest in running a race with me.

Ladies, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is the 17th Annual Bayville 5 KM Run. It's flat. Really flat. As you can see on this PDF, the elevation is 4 to 8 feet. The course is pretty easy, blocked off from most traffic, and drops you off where you started. It's also the location of my very first 5K since high school.

I ran this race last year and the weather was beautiful. I also won a medal.

Let me know if you are brave enough to sign up and we'll start looking into t-shirts.

After the race we shall dance.

My Calves are Killing Me

Today I had these grand ideas about running 7 minute miles around the Central Park loop. I got my neighbor/running partner all excited, and then I epically failed. My legs and my heart felt as if they were about to give out by the Harlem Hills, and we only entered the park at 84th Street!

Sometimes we ran as quickly as sub-7s. I managed to hold onto sub-8s for a while. By the end I was wheezing, growling (it's motivational!), and praying at a delightful 9:30 pace. Fml.

I hurt all over. This morning, whatever muscle connects my leg to my ass was so tight that I could barely get out of bed. While there was a reason I didn't want to get out of bed (yeah, setting my alarm for 6:15 AM but having no motivation to leave until 8:15 is definitely great for my plan to take over my region in under 5 years...), not being able to get out of bed was not cool.

I put my foot down at 7 miles. Literally. I was done running. We exited the park at 79th to head on home. Once I was done dry heaving, I insisted upon making a stop at 7 Eleven.

You run with me, you're on the blog.
Nothing can prevent me from taking incredibly unflattering photos of myself and posting them on the Internet. Yes, I intentionally try to look as unattractive as possible.

I felt 100% better after drinking this Slurpee. If only there was a 7 Eleven in the park.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Teddy's Piazza

Yesterday I was out at my parents' and I decided to go for a quick run. It was beautiful out and I felt like a complete sloth lounging about in my pajamas for most of the weekend. I didn't wake up until noon, which is extremely rare for me.

Mr. Mink is your typical boy. He ignores you when you want him
and refuses to get off of you when you're hungover and disinterested.
My pretty haircut was already a mess (I'm a sweaty sleeper I guess?) so I located my tie dye Mahlon Mayhem tech shirt, a pair of Nike shorts, and my red Adrenalines and hit the road. My original plan was to just run the block a few times, but I took of towards town instead. I figured I'd just run to the beach and back.
What I looked like after my hair appointment on Saturday.
I did some thinking about relationships and jealousy. New York can feel very small when everyone you meet seems to know someone you have already slept with went to school with, and there's all the baggage that goes with that. And then there's the former friends that I think I've put out of my mind for good, but then a stupid Facebook post can set me off. I don't like feeling angry, so I guess it's no surprise that my quick run went a bit farther than expected. (If you'd like to know more about this, shoot me a message, and I'll happily tell you about the psycho-b*tches I've cut out of my life. You can tell me I'm just being paranoid, and then I'll thank you for your reasonable outlook and healthy dose of perspective.)

I made a right onto South Main and headed towards Cove Neck. I don't know when I made the decision to run to Sagamore Hill, but it probably had something to do with the boy I've been seeing. My favorite president is Teddy Roosevelt, his favorite president is Teddy Roosevelt, I was thinking about him, Teddy Roosevelt lived at Sagamore Hill... You get my thought process here.

This was one of the hardest runs I've done in a while. I was dehydrated, my heart was beating out of my chest, and the mess of popped blisters on the bottom of my left foot started hurting something fierce. After 4.25 miles I decided to walk up the massive hill to Sagamore Hill. I hurt and I wanted a break. That's the nice thing about not being in training. Since no plan was dictating my distance, I could do what I wanted. On a related note, the new boy and I are talking about signing up for the KeyBank Vermont City Marathon over Memorial Day Weekend. It's okay. You can throw up a little in your mouth. I do it every time I think about how sickeningly sweet we've gotten.

I made myself start running again before I reached the top of the hill and then headed over toward's TR's house. This is one of my absolute favorite places in the world and it's less than 5 miles from my house.

I don't think it was officially open but I hopped up on the porch, or piazza as Teddy called it, and took a seat in a rocking chair.

This is the view. At one point you could see the water from three sides of the house. Now the trees block the view, but I still find it very pleasant.

This house now has the awesome water view. It's also three times the size of Sagamore Hill. I'd like to live there someday, so if you're thinking about proposing to me, plan ahead.

I had to start my run back because my parents were driving me and my massive amount of clean laundry back into the city. I honestly could have stayed in the rocking chair all night.

Running on Cove Road can be pretty dangerous because there are a lot of blind spots. I risk it for the scenery. I don't recommend doing this run after heavy rains or snow because the shoulders completely disappear and there's no where to go if a car starts barreling right towards you.

I took some walk breaks throughout the trip back. Did a little text messaging and set up some plans for the week. Once I hit nine miles, I was pretty checked out. I did run this distance between Vernon and my house though. Finish strong and all. 

Because finding a limousine in a middle school parking lot is standard. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Scotland 10K

Saturday was the Scotland 10K. I woke up, I got dressed, drastically miscalculated the weather, and headed for the M79.

Don't talk to me. I'm jamming to One Direction.
I ate a peanut butter and honey on Ezekiel 4:9 toast sandwich on the way. My coffee machine is broken, yes broken!, so I had to do without before the race.

I took the bus over to Central Park West, couldn't figure out why I couldn't see any runners, and then started calling the Professor. Oh wait, we're not starting in the middle of the street like in the Mini 10K? You're in the park? By 59th Street? And I'm on 79th? Yeah, I love starting a race with a nice sprint to the starting line.

I knew I'd be cold on the way to the race, so I wore the Professor's Ted Corbitt 15K long-sleeved shirt. He didn't run it, so he couldn't have it, and I've been wearing it around my apartment as a shress (shirt + dress = shress) since I picked it up from NYRR. I figured I could drop it at the beginning of the race and not care about it because I have my own that fits. I got one block away from my apartment when I realized I should've worn a long-sleeved tech shirt. It was too late to turn back, but in the end I was fine. I made myself run faster to warm up.

"Take a Xanax." Thought about it...
While I didn't PR, I ran a solid 48:13, which comes out to 7:46 minute miles. I didn't try to weave (for once) and I'm not sure how that affected my time. The hills were harder than I remember. T and I run clockwise around the loop from time to time, but we don't do it very fast. I always run counterclockwise if I'm by myself. The Harlem Hills feel so much worse when running clockwise but at least you get to avoid ascending Cat Hill.

This hill could have been more pleasant.
I ran this race with music. I used to feel very strongly against this, but lately I have needed a little pep in my step. I don't feel that competitive (maybe because there's absolutely no little chance I'll win an NYRR race?) and I listening to Cut Copy makes me feel badass and floaty. Yeah, I can't really describe how Cut Copy equals badass and floaty, but it does.

As a Choate and Trinity graduate, I am a big fan of this bib's color scheme.
I pushed myself but not that hard. I kept thinking that I should have slept more, gone out less, and avoided the five beers I had had the night before. My quads were screaming from kettle bell class but I was trucking along. I spent 48 minutes and 13 seconds thinking about sex. Really great sex. The kind of sex that moves your furniture and annoys your neighbors. There were times when I was running sub 6:30s but I had a smile on my face because I had Cut Copy and my dirty imagination.

I'll be honest, I'm super jealous of the Ridiculously Photogenic Guy and all that smiling was a ploy to get myself a sick NYRR photo. I was also very happy though.

I finished the race, made sure the Professor hadn't beaten me, and then went in search of Gatorade. I found my friend from work. I couldn't find the Professor with a cell phone, GPS, and a few identifying landmarks, but I was able to find my work friend. Then we both found my old boss. Ed reformers - it's like we're drawn together by some magnetic force field that we can't escape if we tried.

I wore my C9 by Champion for Target shorts in neon yellow with the matching sports bra, neon yellow Hidden Comfort Balega socks, a Brooks Equilibrium Racer Back tank, and my old blue Adrenaline 11s. I really wish I had white sneakers with neon yellow accents. Hint hint.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Pre-Race Practices

Is it 3 PM yet?
This Gchat convo pretty much sums up my morning:

The Professor: put on your headphones. Im dialing it in today. gonna play with this internal power point Im working on
In Shape Out of Mind: i'm in a meeting :(
The Professor: thats horrible
In Shape Out of Mind: drinking a 32 oz slurpee and eating cheerios with my hands

I'll be honest. I only came to the office today because I have a lunch date.

I tend to have a problem with going out the night before races and showing up drunk. Examples A, B, and C.

To combat this, I try to go out two nights before a race because my crippling hangover keeps me on my couch the night before. This works a lot better for Saturday morning races than Sunday morning races as you can imagine. The punishment of work on Friday is more conducive to an early bedtime than lying around  all day Saturday, or even worse, daydrinking to put off the hangover.

Tomorrow is the Scotland Run 10K. I'm already fretting about my time for the damn thing. I suck at the 10K and I really want to PR. My best 10K (and my only sober one) was the Great Cow Harbor race last September. So today I am going to leave the office early, pick up my race packet, and then go to a museum with a guy. Yeah. I'm not sure who I've turned into either. Leave work early? Do something cultural with a boy?

Then I'm going to eat buffalo wings. I've never had a bad race after eating buffalo wings for dinner.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Clean Snatch*

* Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Yesterday I went to Kettle Bell Workout at 50th & Broadway. I've gone to this before with my friend Anna (um, who is leaving me for the freakin South. Now I have to motivate myself to workout!), but it was a different day with a different instructor.

I really like kettle bells because they give you a great workout and they're kind of fun. I'm so busy trying not to hit myself in my leg that I don't have much time to focus on the pain of lifting the dang thingss.

Equinox describes the class as "the ultimate in cutting edge strength training, cast iron bells are used to
develop the correct blend of strength with flexibility for maximum fat burning and muscular endurance. Shred your mid section, tone your legs and strengthen your back while pushing your cardio capacity to the limit."

We started off doing two-arm and one-arm swings followed by mountain climbers to warm up. Then we did some cleans and some snatches. I like this instructor, Sabrina Cohen, because she kept saying snatch and laughing about it. I just giggled while I typed that. I need to grow up.

Anyway, all the swings and cleans and snatches were broken up with burpees (without the kettle bells), and figure eights and around the world with the kettle bells. Try to do figure eights quickly. The grip gets so sweaty that it starts to slip out of your hand. I've dropped a kettle bell a few times before but never in a class as full as it was last night. I was scared that I was going to hit someone.

I had a great time and I would like to make this one of my regular classes. It's pretty easy for me to get there from my office, and now that I don't have to worry about contacts and all that nonsense, getting ready quickly hasn't been a problem. I like classes where I can get competitive with the people around me. This Asian guy with a knee brace and awesome calves (yes, I was jealous of his calves, and yes, there's something about knee braces I find attractive) was doing pretty well and I just had to lift the same weight and keep up a faster tempo. Hopefully he's there every week so I can use my envy to kick my own ass.

Sabrina complimented my work after class. I'm really flattered when instructors notice me (maybe it was my navy Under Armour shorts, neon blue C9 sports bra, navy tank, blue and white Old Navy socks, and Figi blue and white K-Swiss sneakers?) and I'm more likely to take their class again.

Speaking of those Under Armour shorts, I've been wearing them since 2007 and my sister owned them before me. I'm not sure how they're still in one piece. Feel free to send me presents.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Move Your Belly Skin & Touch Your Third Eye

Last night I made myself go to yoga. And I liked it. I went Mariko Hirakawa's 7:30 PM Alignment Flow Yoga class at 50th & Broadway. That Equinox location has really grown on me. It might have something to do with the full-sized lockers. Why are the other locations making those weird sized lockers that are neither small nor large? And (almost) no one can reach the freaking hangers in the ones on top!

We been talking about how I suck at yoga for years now. My legs are tighter than ever but I made an effort to actually do the poses. I liked this class because we raised up on our toes a lot in downward dog. I heard all sorts of cracking sounds and this morning I feel a little more limber.

For the record, I'm always limber when it counts.

There was lots of talk about touching the third eye to concentrate. I've got a prescription for that.
This mat is a bit much.
We were also encouraged to move our belly skin to move more deeply into twists. Let's call it what it is. It's belly fat. Someone (me) needs to eat more lettuce and less fried rice.

Before class I saw this guy doing one-legged pushups off a stability ball with his hands on two medicine balls. It's too bad he had bright red hair because otherwise I would've asked him to marry me.

I made a stop at Fairway on the way home and picked up some arugula and baby spinach. I put a package of chunk light tuna in water on top and added a little Goya salad seasoning. That's a whole dinner that's under 120 calories. I didn't get home until 10:30 and I had eaten lasagna at 5. I don't think it's a good idea to eat a real dinner late at night. I did chase this with some green grapes and a handful of Cheerios. (I needed to finish the box. They were going to go stale!)

In other news, Duane Reade filled my Ritalin prescription wrong and I feel like I didn't sleep at all, which is awesome. Damn extended release.

I've also figured out why I have bruises on the top of my feet every weekend. I drunkenly knock over my shaving cream in the shower onto my foot. Mystery solved!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Run That Never Happened

So I went for a short run last Monday. On Tuesday I had every intention to do a double workout class with my friend Anna. But then Anna stayed in Westchester. So I went drinking instead.

On Wednesday morning I was going to run with T, but it was supposed to pour so we rescheduled for Thursday. I had dinner plans with some friends from high school. I sent T a text cancelling our run between bottles 3 and 4.

Friday's run didn't happen either. Saturday I never made it to the gym. Sunday I was supposed to go to Zumba, but I went to watch lacrosse instead. Accountability. I need some accountability.

We did talk about running. JessMo, her boyfriend, and El Captain's boyfriend ran the DC Cherry Blossom 10 Mile. I ran it last year so I shared some of my wisdom.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Sunday Funday: Best Sunday Ever

Today I went to the Konica Minolta Big City Classic. Yesterday I saw this post on Facebook from a kid I went to college with complaining that no one wanted to go because of the rain. I love college lacrosse so I immediately commented that I wanted to attend.

This kid was a goalie on the Trin team so from here on out we'll refer to him as the Goalie. This morning I woke up drunk, per usual, and assessed my life. Had to pick up my debit card from Dylan Murphy's, standard, and then watched some Freaks and Geeks while the world stopped spinning.

The Goalie and I met at the Port Authority at 2:30 and headed out to the MetLife Stadium. We were giddy with anticipation. NCAA laxers, beer, lax parents screaming nonsensical things - can life get any better than this?

We went to watch the second and third games. Duke played Syracuse and I'm partial to Duke lacrosse players. I told the Goalie Duke would win. He was skeptical. Um yeah, who was right? The Syracuse goalie was letting all sorts of nonsense in the net. It started pouring halfway through the game, but a little rain didn't hurt anyone. No way were we leaving early.

Hopkins vs. UNC
Then Hopkins played UNC. My sister is a diehard Hopkins fan, therefore I love them too. Unfortunately they never win when I go to their games. Sorry guys!

We had a great day. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

And My Foot Hurts... Again

It's that super fun time of the weekend when I wake up and find painful bruising and potential hairline fractures on my feet.

On a related note, who wants to run this week? I'm seeing Wendy Kopp (founder of Teach For America) speak, interviewing an alumna (who is also my friend), and marrying the new DM's bartender, but I'm sure I can fit a few runs in.
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