Whole 30 Fail

I have epically failed at Whole30. I've had cheese, milk, cereal, bread, pasta, alcohol, peas, and Chinese food. You shouldn't sleep with your Paleo Pal right before the challenge starts because then you spend the next thirty days avoiding him and then there's no one to hold you accountable or help you cook.

Since the Whole30 Challenge started, I have not had soda, Slurpees, or sex. The soda and the Slurpees is intentional. The sex - well I've gotten to the point where I am so disinterested in people that usually I completely zone out after three minutes and then after that I sometimes think about how much more satisfying it would be to kill the guy rather than have to continue doing what I'm doing. This may be why I've been upped to two sessions with the shrink a week. However, I had a lovely time with the last person I slept with, who unfortunately lives across the freaking country, so chances are I won't become the black widow serial killer just yet and stick to celibacy.

By sticking to some Whole30 principles I have been able to lose 8 lbs. Yes, I got on the scale when I was explicitly told not to. I have decided that I will follow a Paleo diet during the week and on the weekends I can eat whatever my dad is cooking or go out for sushi. This should help me continue to lose fat but also let me enjoy things I love, like my dad's pasta dishes and Yuka's unicorn fish.

I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Jacqie's wedding in May and I am so excited to celebrate this special day with her and her awesome (and quite attractive) fiance. Last night I went to try on my bridesmaid dress and was able to get into the size 4! I bought the size 6 instead because I'd rather pay to get it taken in than worry that the 4 is going to be too snug if I eat anything the day of the wedding.

I tried the dress on in plum but I ordered it in black. Jacqie picked beautiful dresses for us and I'm psyched that I can wear it again and again. I've never worn a one shoulder dress before and I think it's pretty flattering on me. I do have to step up my upper body work though. Look at those flabby chicken arms. Anyone want to train me?

Day 8 Whole 30 - 30/60/90

For the first time in months, I had the desire to go to a full body workout group fitness class at Equinox. It was actually a little bizarre. I was analyzing MYEQ for a yoga class that didn't start at 5:30 (wtf 50th & Broadway? Stop screwing with a working schedule) when I saw the 30/60/90 class I always ignore.

When I received a package with this t-shirt in it, I knew I had to go so I could wear it with black shorts and my Fiji blue sneakers. Yes, I let a t-shirt dictate my workout. It really wasn't yoga appropriate.

The 30/60/90 website says the following about the class:

30/60/90 is High Intensity Interval Training at its finest. It was developed by fitness expert Kristi Molinaro, and was named the “Best Fat-Burning Class″ by New York Magazine setting the standard for modern group fitness. “Pilates, kickboxing, and pole dancing can tone, but the interval training Kristi Molinaro’s signature class will do it faster.”

30/60/90 has no confusing choreography and no girly moves. It is a scientifically combined series of cardio drills in a high-intensity interval training format designed to get you (and keep you) in the best shape of your life. Unlike basic cardio workouts, 30/60/90 requires you to move in spurts in conjunction with a cardio strength workout that will rev up your metabolism even after you’re done working out.

Attracting women and men, newcomers and elite athletes, 30/60/90 has taken fitness to a whole new level. Kristi has developed a program based on timed intervals of steep peaks and valleys to dramatically improve your cardiovascular fitness and raise your body’s potential to burn fat.

I say the class is hard but it is doable. You do a move, then you have a chance to scale back for a moment before the surge. The surge can get ridiculous, i.e. I found myself flopping in a puddle of my own sweat thinking I was doing burpees off my bench. Many of the exercises are a combination of moves and by the time the surge comes around, us newbies are going to have to drop something. For example, you might need to jump on top of your bench, then jump off, do a burpee with one arm on the bench and the other on the floor, then do a push-up, and then jump back up to do it all again. The push-up is probably the first thing to go, but by the amount of flailing going on, I'm not sure I actually did the other exercises either. I was soaking in sweat, my heart rate was up, and I feel like I've been beaten, so I was doing something right.

I believe in the front row hierarchy. Those positions are earned and I admit that it bothers me when someone plops themselves up front and doesn't bring the energy (and skills) needed to motivate those standing behind them. That being said, I got to class early and put myself in my favorite spot - front row, right next to the instructor. I wanted to challenge myself to bring it, and since I have done 30/60/90 once before, I wasn't a complete beginner. I think I held my own.

The guy standing next to me was obviously a regular and I think I kind of kept up with him. He used 8 lbs weights throughout the class and I switched between 8s and 5s. He was able to hold his weights over his head during the cardio surges and I held mine to my shoulders. He is able to do push-ups. My weak little arms puttered out but I did hold planks when I could push up no more. He had some step aerobics background because we were in sync during over the bench lunges with the lovely jazz hands to boot. Basically I'm coming for him and he better be scared.

But in all seriousness, I like finding the best person in the class and following their pace. I also defer to that person if we're standing next to one another because I am easily distracted when someone is moving in the opposite direction as them. When I am the best person in the room, I really appreciate when others following my lead, defer to me. I'm clumsy and I feel no remorse if I end up kicking you in the head.

The instructor Kevin VerEecke had a solid playlist of top radio stuff and I liked his instruction style. Not overly chatty with an attention to form. He teaches the 30 minute AB Blast class right after 30/60/90 as well. I enjoyed that class, especially because the first 10 minutes were standing up. However, my quads felt thrashed so the woodchoppers felt awful.

My favorite move of the entire evening was a burpee from the bench to a twist plank to a twist push-up. I'm not at twist push-up level yet, but I will be.

30/60/90 classes are offered at Equinoxes around Manhattan. This class is at 6:30 PM on Wednesdays at 50th & Broadway.

Day 7 Whole 30 - Use a Plate

Last week I decided that paper plates were no longer going to cut it and found some cute Melamine plates at Target. I went to Target over the weekend and found similar plates on sale for $1.39!

Food looks better and more appetizing on a plate. After spending time to buy and prepare my paleo meals, I want my meals to look like something I actually want to put in my mouth.

breakfast of granny smith apples and prosciutto di san daniel

dinner of salmon and broccoli rabe

Also a Target plate, but it's not Melamine.
This is one of the plates I have at my apartment.

lunch of coconut chicken breast and iceberg lettuce

I'm enjoying my stylish plates and my colleagues are definitely envious.

Day 6 Whole 30 - Bareburger

Tonight my parents and I ate at Bareburger  on 73rd and 1st. I had read that Bareburger's meat was grass-fed and that you could get your burger wrapped in a lettuce lead instead of a bun. I convinced the parents to support my paleo diet and go here over the standard pizza. (My parents love pizza. I do not. Who is the child here?)

I ordered two beef patties, medium rare, wrapped in lettuce. Iceberg is the only choice, although I think Boston or Bibb would've held up better. I got fried onions and mushrooms on one and raw red onions and country bacon on the other. They were pretty damn good. I was pretty pleased until one of my many pseudo-ex-boyfriends told me that Bareburger uses frozen meat. Meh.

I didn't have any cheese, sauces, or French fries. I did eat a few cornmeal crusted spicy pickle spears because they looked interesting and sounded tasty. So cornmeal is not paleo - I'll live.

This morning I went to Inside/Out with Jonathan followed by spinning with Carolyn. Good workouts but I felt a little lightheaded. If I'm not in perpetual carbo-loading mode, do I now need to eat breakfast before morning workouts?

Day 5 Whole 30 - I Ate Butter

So I just failed Whole30. After going grocery shopping to make my own paleo dinner, I got home to find that my dad was making lobster soup. The recipe calls for 2 tablespoons of butter. I decided that that was a small price to pay to get fresh lobster and calamari in a delicious broth.

Does that mean I can quit yet?

I avoided the bread, the corn, and the mozzarella cheese so I think I'm doing okay. I will refrain from ordering the Whole30 t-shirt now though.

I was looking for ghee for the recipe I had intended to cook myself and couldn't find it at Fairway, Christina's Epicure, or Stop and Shop. Had the soup been made with ghee, it would've been 100% Whole30 friendly. I'll ask my dad for the recipe if anyone's interested. Just comment below.

My amazing mother offered to come to my apartment and help me clean and organize it. We spent four hours in there and the place is transformed. All of you who have been it won't even recognize it. I was too ashamed to take before photos, but here's the finished product.

Closet closest to bed

This closet is now designated as the home for jackets, blazers, pants, boots, heels, and flats.

Tops, skirts, dresses, hamper, cleaning gadgets

The other closet is for the rest of my clothing, the hamper, and things I with which I clean my apartment such as the Swiffer, step stool, and vacuum.

It also houses my extensive sneaker collection.

The other half are at my parents'.

My bathroom closet has NEVER looked this good.

Each basket is organized by item type including dental care, hair care, and hair tools.

I need to buy one more bin for my workout clothes and then I think I will be set.

My mom is even more awesome because she took me to Target to buy more pans. I am so excited to try out my new cast-iron grill pan.

Day 4 Whole 30 - Breakfast Panic Attack

I don't like to leave food in my refrigerator over the weekend, so I refused to go grocery shopping last night. I also finished the last of the eggs. I don't know how delusional I was this morning thinking that I would just pick something up to eat on the way to work, but clearly there is nothing that I can order to my office that I can eat that is remotely appetizing.

So I freaked out and guzzled coffee all morning. I've been drinking the hazelnut.

I finally couldn't take it anymore so I threw together things I had in my desk or in the work fridge - half an avocado, a tuna pouch, and pecans. Surprisingly amazing. It had the consistency I always liked about eating yogurt and oatmeal in the morning, including the pecan crunch I crave. I'm going to keep this in my back pocket every time I need a quick and easy breakfast.

I'm really over eggs right now. I had to make myself choke down dinner last night even though it tasted really good.

there was bacon but I ate it before I could photograph it

I didn't want to find myself scrounging for dinner, so I researched paleo chicken options during my grant writing conference call. And I got busted. I had no idea what the question was, but at least I knew I was having paleo coconut chicken for dinner.

Now that you have shamed me, I will not listen AT ALL!

I was actually emailing my mother the ingredient list when I got caught not paying attention. When I got out to Long Island, the sainted woman had already prepped my ingredients*.

cauliflower fried rice ingredients

To make the cauliflower fried rice, grate raw cauliflower, chop a yellow onion, and buy pre-sliced Shitake mushrooms. Cook the onions in coconut oil, add the mushrooms, wait until the onions are translucent, add the "rice" and let it cook through.

*My mom saved me a piece of cauliflower so I could practice but then I almost cut off my finger so she did it for me.

 I used this recipe for the coconut chicken. Thanks Paleo Plan.

Surprisingly easy to make.

The meal was delicious. Just as a heads up, I pounded the chicken breasts so they'd be thinner and fry more easily. I was also thrilled to eat vegetables that weren't green. The next time I make this rice, I'd consider using sesame oil instead of the coconut to add some variety to the dish.

Day 3 Whole 30 - Holy Skinny Jeans!

So we're on Day 3 (or 4 if we're forgiving MSG consumption, but we're not) of the Whole 30 Challenge. Today I set my alarm clock to get up early to cook eggs and bacon. I decided not to and went to work instead. Then I had to eat tuna out of the pouch and leftover asparagus for brunch. I never want to see white asparagus again. This first week has taught me that not planning breakfast backups is going to lead to breakfast failure. Does anyone have experience making those egg muffin cups? Does anyone want to make them for me?

In the most awesome news ever, I put my skinny jeans on today (not my smallest sized jeans but those jeans with the tiny ass narrow legs) and for the first time since last March, they fit. Actually fit. Not forced myself into them and cannot breathe fit, but have extra space in the waistband fit.

Hallelujah.

Day 2 of Whole 30 and Weight Loss Wednesday 1.9.13

Day 2 of Whole30 started off with a breakfast of 6 strips of bacons and 2 fried eggs. And this is a diet?

I took pictures for Weight Loss Wednesday and weighed myself. As per the Whole30 instructions, I will have to stop using my scale. I decided to weigh myself today instead of Monday because I always weigh myself on Wednesdays because I like consistency. For the next 30 days, you will only get my fat kid photos.

144.2 lbs
27.3 % body fat

I weighed myself during the holiday break and I weighed 150 lbs. I weighed myself last Saturday morning after binge drinking and eating Chinese food and weighed 148 lbs (I was just curious.) So this sudden weight loss either has to do with no bread and no rice, or the fact that I couldn't keep my dinner down last night. I guess we'll find out in a month.

My Wednesday schedule just changed and I will be working from home in the mornings. I have a weekly doctor's appointment at 11:15 AM that conveniently leaves me in Columbus Circle for 12:30 PM TranscendCycle with Daryl Gaines. The class is really popular and everyone loves him. I'll admit, there hasn't been an instructor I've wanted to like me as much as I'd like Daryl to like me since Yves. I'm not sure if I found his class difficult today because of my run last night, my crappy night's rest, or what, but I'm convinced I should have rocked it. Now I have to go every week to prove that I'm the best.

I ran into two of my high school friends in the locker room who were going to 1:30 yoga. I yelled, "You're busted" because I saw them at the gym when one said she was unable to attend 12:30 spin. Turns out I really freaked her out because she was hiding from her boss who was also in the locker room. Sorry girl! I hope you enjoyed Warrior Flow!

I felt incredible lightheaded on my way into the office and was overcome for the need for fruit. Is this because my blood sugar was low? Someone who reads this blog must know the answer so pipe up please. I made a quick fruit salad at the deli down the street (yes, I know that this fruit is neither local, farm fresh, or organic - shoot me), grabbed a coconut water, and headed into work. I inhaled the fruit and my coconut water at my desk before going to heat up my steak and asparagus.

This is not cute.

I think I am going to Target and pick up these Room Essentials® Chevron Melamine plates and cereal bowls so I can experience fine dining at work. Only $6.99! It's okay. I don't mind if you copy me.

Day 1 Take 2 of Whole 30

Yesterday I accidentally ate MSG so today is Day 1 Take 2 of Whole30. I didn't use an alarm clock and woke up at 7:34 AM on my own. I stayed in bed checking my email, text messages, and Facebook alerts until about 8. I never get any messages when I am awake past 10 PM, but if I'm asleep, I become super popular. And I will remind you all again - if you want to have a beer with me at 2 AM on a weeknight, you need to call and wake me up. A text message will not suffice.

However, I have stayed away from alcohol and I'm remaining strong.

I had prosciutto and apricots for breakfast. My black coffee is still sitting on my desk, and I will enjoy it at lukewarm temperatures this afternoon.

For lunch I had white asparagus, skirt steak, spring mixed greens, and avocado slices. I finally learned that I should I under-cook my steak so that heating it up in the microwave cooked it to medium-rare. I hate charco-tar biscuits and it only took  me four years of professional life to figure this trick out.

Lunchtime is less exciting now that I no longer receive an email from reception saying, "Your lunch is here!" I might ask the receptionist to email me that anyway just to bring the joy back.

The other day I was casually looking up 50 mile races on the internet and I found the JFK 50 Mile entry standards. I am going to took my own horn and point out that I qualify for A-Standard based on my Caumsett 50K time of 5:08:44. I feel a lot better about running the Rock The Ridge Endurance Challenge now that I know that I qualify for the cool kids team for a race run primarily by military personnel.

That being said, I skipped my long run this weekend because I am a lush who prioritizes bad behavior and sex. Is anyone up for a post-work long run on Thursday? Leave a comment or message me directly if you're interested.

Salmon Dinner

I accidentally ate MSG during lunch so I guess Whole30 officially starts for me tomorrow. I really like Goya salad seasoning so I tossed some on some tuna in water and only read the ingredients afterwards. Turns out that monoammonium glutamate is just another name for MSG like flavor enhancers. Eff.

However, I refused to throw the baby out with the bathwater and made an epic trip to Fairway Market. After an appetizer of prosciutto and California apricots, I had a salmon fillet, white asparagus, and baby spinach cooked with Shitake mushrooms and onion.

the finished product

I worked from home today. I like to take my conference calls in towel turbans.

I went to Fairway at 5 PM - horrible decision. The place was packed. However, no one was near the fish department and a very kind young gentleman cut me a great fillet.

I looked up this recipe I saw on The Chew and made the salmon. I like my salmon a little more rare so next time I am going to cook the skin side for 4 minutes, but only cook the meat side for 1 - 2 minutes instead of the recommended 3 - 4 minutes. I swore I would NEVER watch The Chew because it replaced by beloved All My Children, but it's actually kind of interesting. It's like Rachel Ray, minus the God awfulness of Rachel Ray.

I bought white asparagus because there was no green asparagus. I prepared it the same way as I normally do. I place all of the asparagus in an oven-safe dish, drizzle olive oil over it, add salt and pepper, and squeeze half a lemon over it. Then I place it in an oven preheated to 425 degrees for 10 minutes.

This is my fancy new knife set.
Would someone please come and clean up my kitchen?

I know I don't tend to write serious things on this blog, but I'm making a concerted effort to grow up a little this year. As my friend Chris likes to remind me, I'm not getting any younger. I'd like to one day get married and have children. Since that one day gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it, (the same one person in your bed EVERY DAY and small people who you are legally responsible for and don't go home at 3 PM?!), I've decided that being able to take care of myself is the first step to approaching adulthood. As today proves, I can cook. In theory, I can clean. I just don't like doing it. Maybe cooking and sometimes cleaning will encourage other better behaviors, such as exercise and monogamy.

Speaking of monogamy, on Saturday evening I was sort of asked (more like implicitly directed) to entertain someones roommate. Since I had a birthday party to make an appearance at up at Dorrian's, I asked him to accompany me. And we saw a bride.

I've asked this fine man to make sure that he shoots me if he ever sees or hears that I showed up to Dorrian's in a wedding gown. That girl just started off her marriage the worst way possible. Shame, shame on her.

Day 1 of Whole 30

So this weekend almost killed me. Well not really - four days of continuous drinking is really just a throwback to college, but I kept forgetting to eat and I somehow lost a significant chunk of skin on my left ring finger. This might be God's way of telling me that I am just not suited for marriage. 

I am definitely marriage material.

Speaking of a college throwback, I went to a fundraiser brunch on Saturday to raise money to fight colon cancer, and it was so weird to see my college friends and my high school friends in one room. Thank you to everyone who came up to me and said how much they enjoy reading In Shape Out of Mind. Now I feel guilty that I don't finish all of the posts that I start writing.

Today is my first day of Whole30. Since I never got out of bed yesterday (I was busy if you know what I mean), I desperately need to go to the grocery store. Whole30 is Paleo - no grains, no dairy, no legumes. And for 30 days, no alcohol, not even 100% agave tequila. I'm excited to eat real food, wake up without a hangover, and have the time to make it to the gym.

Now all I have to do is learn how to cook.