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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Monday, December 31, 2012

12 Things I Learned in 2012

1. Double spin classes are the best way to spend a morning. Double Tripp, Double Carolyn - two classes are twice as nice. I know spinning isn't considered a substitute for a run, but I think that double spin helps stamina just as well as a long run.

2. I love seltzer and Alka-Seltzer. Seltzer water is the best thing to happen to water since the U.S. Public Health Service started regulating drinking quality in 1914. Seltzer was actually invented in 1767, but who knows if it was safe to drink. Alka-Seltzer might be God's gift to drunk girls because I have yet to meet a hangover that can withstand four Alka-Seltzer tablets and a light nap underneath my desk.

3. It's possible to PR the marathon while running a 50K. Yeah, I did it. I'll be returning to the Caumsett 50K in 2013 as part of my training for a 50 mile race. Yes, I said 50 miles.

4. It's possible to run a marathon after being up partying for two straight days. I don't recommend it.

Only added about a half hour to my worst time.
And I stopped to get a bagel.
5. Compression calve sleeves help prevent cankles. I suffer from third spacing practically every time I fly. This means fluid gathers in places it shouldn't and my legs and feet swell until they resemble hams and vienna sausages. I wear my compression calve sleeves on (almost) every flight and I never have a problem anymore. I also wear them to bed if my legs hurt and I find they help me sleep.

6. You can have a boss that you genuinely like as a superior and as as person. I transitioned roles in August and my new manager is awesome. I love working with her and I love spending time with her when we're in the same city. My four previous years in the work world did not lead me to believe that bosses like her exist (excluding Viviana, but that was over the summer for six weeks and I'm not sure that counts.)

7. Yves and Coco opened their own studio. MC Dance & Fitness, located in Great Neck, offers kickboxing, Zumba, dance, and that crazy Early Birds workout. If I lived on Long Island fulltime, I'd quit supplement my gym membership and go there EVERY DAY.

8. If you ever wake up in someone's apartment and you see a business card on the table that looks like yours, but isn't yours, RUN! Call me naive, but after working in elementary schools for three years, I didn't really ever think about the pros and cons of an office relationship. They're awful and don't end well.

On a related note,

9. I can cry when I haven't been drinking. I hadn't cried sober in years and then I got dumped on June 1. Blew my mind. Part of me feels better knowing that I am not completely heartless. The other part of me wants to kill these emotions with 409 and lye.

10. Electronic dance music is awesome. I went to Governors Ball and saw Duck Sauce. Enough said. Governors Ball in 2013 is the same weekend as my five year college reunion. I would really like to host an EDM festival on the quad to make up for this.

Governors Ball 2012
11. The Young and the Restless is a pretty decent replacement for All My Children. No one will ever take away my love of soap operas, even if I have to start watching telenovelas. I actually enjoy Decisiones even though I don't understand most of it.

12. I like yoga. After many years of complaining about yoga, I've really gotten into it. Now if only the 50th & Broadway Equinox stopped screwing around with their yoga schedule. Jason Olson's class is now offered at 5:30 PM on Mondays at 44th & Lex. Who is with me?

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sleep Deprivation

I don't really sleep and it doesn't seem to affect me. Twenty hour days are awesome because I can do everything I want to do - or so I thought. Last night I got into bed before 11 PM but I didn't fall asleep until 2:30 AM. My parents' stupid ass new neighbors installed backyard lighting that makes it look like my bedroom window overlooks the Vegas strip. I was not pleased.

After tossing, turning, trying to read, and cursing the neighbors back to their old neighborhood, I finally fell asleep. Although I woke up before 9, I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. It's a good thing I was signed up for Carolyn Mellace's 10:15 class and not the earlier one.

I felt sluggish and achy, but Carolyn's sick playlist (think AC/DC, Aerosmith, and disco) and her Energizer Bunny energy kicked my ass into gear. It wasn't the best ride of my life, but I got a solid workout in and I'm glad I went.

I bought Robb Wolf's, author of The Paleo Solution, ebundle last night and was reading that sleep is more important than diet and exercise. Say what? That completely blows my lifestyle out of the water. Robb says that you need to sleep in a completely dark room, use blackout shades, and cover up all LED lights. I sleep with a sleep mask and I usually have a pillow blocking the time on the TV, but completely dark? I was recently complaining that the lack of natural sunlight in my apartment has made it harder for me to wake up.

Once I get back to work, I am going to try for a regular bedtime and 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night. I've never needed this much sleep before, but it's possible that I haven't tapped into my true potential because I sleep so little (and tend to go out and drink until the wee hours of the morning.)

Friday, December 28, 2012

The Class So Nice, I Took It Twice

Tripp Doherty teaches four classes on Long Island on Friday mornings - 2 at Woodbury and 2 at Roslyn. I signed up for the 8:30 AM class at Roslyn using the MYEQ app with the intent to sign up for the 9:45 AM Roslyn class in person. I get why you can only sign up for one class a day using MYEQ, but it drives me nuts. I really like double spin classes and I find it a little stressful when I know I need to get back down to the front desk to sign up for the second one. If I know I can get to the first one early, I will use MYEQ to sign up for the second class and sign up for the first one in person, but that can get iffy if you arrive and all the bikes are taken and then you have to figure out something else to do for an hour.

I love Tripp's classes, as anyone who reads this blog semi-regularly knows. He is truly inspirational. And his music is good. I feel like I get so much out of his classes because not only am I pushing myself to exercise harder than I thought possible, but the stories and advice he shares challenges my way of thinking and what I think is possible in my life.

Today I felt really special because Tripp asked what is the longest distance I have run - 34 miles - and my fellow spinners cheered. I don't think Equinox is known to be the friendliest gym, especially on Long Island, but everyone in Tripp's classes supports one another and the energy is extremely positive. Tripp then said I should run the Rock The Ridge 50 with him May 4. Tripp inspired me to run my first 50 kilometer race so it is fitting that I run my first 50 MILE race with him, so I am going to sign up. There is a $250 fundraising commitment and I hope that you will all help me reach that goal once I set up my page. I'll post about it after I register.

My friend Rose came to the second class and I am so happy that I got to see her. I met Rose in 2007 when I first started going to Bonne's classes. She's a teacher and helped me so much when I taught for the DOE providing advice and emotional support.

I might head up to Westchester in a little bit to play some paddle. I've never played before, but I am mildly decent at tennis and I took intro to squash in high school, so cross your fingers that I don't make an ass out of myself if I go.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

A Lot of Pictures of My Feet

After spending all of Saturday in my pajamas inhaling pasta salad and deli meats, I prayed for divine intervention to fit into my spandex and went to the Woodbury Equinox. I loved the opportunity to go to Jonathan Carroll's Inside/Out class again. Those 3 lbs weights have my arms shaking and the glider makes my legs quiver. Speaking of quivering, I've been reading Fifty Shades of Grey for the third time and I'm back on the third book. I know I have a problem. Back to Jonathan's class - it's the micromovements that really make the difference. We did this thing where we laid on our sides, kept the lower leg bent and lifted the upper leg. The movements were so small but so killer. I could barely cross my legs after to stretch.

I conveniently sneaked out of Jonathan's class at 9:45 AM for a bathroom break and signed up for Carolyn Mellace's 10:15 AM spin class. The class was full for online sign up and I really wanted to go. After finishing Jonathan's class, I grabbed my spin shoes and headed upstairs.

Equinox redid the Woodbury location a few years ago and my only complaint is the studio cycling room is where the bathroom used to be. I chug water and I think my Ritalin makes me always have to pee and it's super annoying not to be able to quickly run out of class. I was thinking about this during class, which is the reason I share this here. I don't think anyone actually reads this blog, but if you do and you go to the Woodbury location, do you want to start a petition to get that Pilates room turned into a bathroom?

Carolyn's classes are awesome. Eclectic array of music. Great energy. She powers right on through the workout with you. We did A LOT of hills and my legs can definitely feel it. I also like that Carolyn motivates everyone to work hard and really sweat. I don't look pretty when I work out and I don't think others should either.

It's awesome when your face matches your shirt after spin class.
I prefer to shower at Equinox than my own home because the towels are warm and fluffy, the shower pressure is awesome, and each shower is stocked with Kiehl's. This is why I can never quit for another gym. Flywheel's showers were gross the other day even if they had Bliss Lemon Sage products in them. Oh, and there were only two showers! I don't even want to imagine what showers look like at Crossfits. No matter where I shower, I prefer to air dry. I spend a lot of time chilling in my towel. Sometimes I wonder if this bothers my colleagues when we room together for conferences.

Just sitting in a towel on Facebook in the locker room.
After the gym I went to get a manicure and pedicure.

Does this gold polish make it look like I have a toe fungus?
Be honest.
After Angel Tips, I fought for a parking spot at the Americana and went to lululemon to buy my sister a present. Mission successful. I also saw Tripp Doherty's lululemon ambassador poster on the wall, which is neat.
Tripp Doherty
This is a picture of me after the Christmas party I went to last weekend. Yes, I am wearing cowboy boots. Yes, I am wearing sunglasses. Yes, it's 2 AM.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Happy Hangover

Today I woke up with a candy cane stuck to my foot. To say it's been a rough day is an understatement.

I showed up to work looking like a lumberjack.

Yes, I voluntarily wore that.
I found an empty egg carton on my kitchen table and this in my refrigerator.

Drunk cooking is extremely dangerous. I'm really not okay  with the fact that this happened.
And I sent this text message.

As almost everyone knows, the best way to kick a hangover is to exercise. I left the office for a lunchtime session at Flywheel with my friend Anna and her sister Margot. I've missed Anna very much since she moved and I was so happy to see her! I was also a little afraid I'd throw up on her.

Margot, Anna, and me after class.
This photo is horribly out of focus and we all look spectacular, I know.
I've been to Flywheel once before. Some people are addicted to it. I can't really find a reason to justify not going to Equinox to spin, but it's a nice place if you're looking just to cycle and go to barre classes. We went to Flywheel Flatiron but there's locations on the Upper East Side and Upper West Side as well.

We went to Jesse Alexander's class. He had a sick playlist and great energy. Considering my near death state when I arrived, it's a testament to his greatness that I not only lasted the entire class, but I brought at least my A- game. My only complaint is that I can never figure out how to set up the Flywheel bike. Equinox uses Schwinn and I know my numbers there. Unfortunately the helpful lady set my seat too high for me and I ended up being sodomized by the damn bike seat every time we got out of the saddle.

I love that Flywheel has an arms portion for about 5 minutes. The bars only equal 6 lbs but by the end my arms were shaking. Hey Equinox, can we get that in our spin classes too?

I'm looking forward to peacing out to Long Island tonight and laying low for a Siberian Soul Reboot. While I feel a thousand times better than I did before Flywheel, my body still hates me.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Running in December

The alarm went off for a run this morning, but I decided spending another 2.5 hours in my bed sounded like a much better idea. I'm addicted to my baby blankets and don't like to leave them. In lieu of a run today, I give you a collection of photos I've taken on runs this month.

The beginning of December was unseasonably warm - just the way I like it. I had to interview folks during the amazing day we called Monday, December 3, but I was able to get a run in on Tuesday, December 4. Then it became freezing and unhappy.

Don't taunt me because I am fat and slow.
By the end of that week it was cold out. I bailed on the gym multiple times and decided I needed a run to get over my residual fat kid and actual alcohol hangover. My Matty M leggings kept on sliding down my ass and I forgot my headphones on my desk at work. fml. I also couldn't figure out if the running path was completely closed after the 80s or if there was another way to access it so I found myself running back and forth from 79th to the hill after the dog park.

I went for a run the last night I was in Houston last week after gorging myself on buffalo chicken rolls, spinach and artichoke dip, Cosmopolitans (it's damn near impossible to get drunk if your stomach is that filled with food), salmon with asparagus, shrimp parmigiana, and enough bread to feed those folks at the Sermon on the Mount. I'm lucky I didn't throw up in the street.


My Garmin wasn't working so I used MapMyRun instead. It says that I ran 4.24 miles. It's a pretty good app but I don't like that it talks to me. It's also not a Garmin so I'm not going to like it just because.

I have trouble following directions while on the move, so I took off in the general direction I saw on the map and hoped for the best. I always ask the concierge where he or she recommends running. They will frequently have a map on hand or will draw you one if they don't.

I found myself in the community of River Oaks and enjoyed a lovely display of Christmas lights.
 I love Christmas lights because I love everything that lights up, even if it's not concert stage or a robot.

Although I ran to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in America, Houston's lack of zoning laws meant I got to run through an industrial park on the way back to the hotel. I'll admit I was a little scared, especially since I hadn't told my colleagues I had left for a run. Oops.

I survived and made it back safely. I was pretty thrilled to run in perfect weather at 10 o'clock at night. Houston had been having a cold spell, but it was in the 50s on that evening. The hotel also provided delicious citrus water in the lobby. I guzzled about a gallon before heading back to my room. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

The BoobyPack

So we all know I am mildly obsessed with Miles Fisher (what can I say, I have a thing for Patrick Bateman and The Talking Heads) and the other day I saw his post on Facebook about the Boobypack. It is a fannypack for your boobs!

Mind officially blown.

This neon day-glo top has a built in purse for your phone, credit cards, and cash. Who wouldn't want to wear it? Originally intended for electronic dance music concerts/festivals/fields of debauchery, creator Christina Conrad says it's also perfect for working out.

This is so In Shape Out of Mind, I'm baffled that I didn't think of it myself.

The Boobypack is now on Kickstarter. PLEASE go over to Kickstarter and back the Boobypack. Three colors of awesomeness and imagine what could come from this company in a few months? Can we say glow in the dark?

I think this is the one that I want.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


My team flew to Houston today for essentially a multi-day meeting. I'm somewhat under the impression that we could have accomplished the same outcomes via video conference, but it's fun to see everyone and I got paid to sleep on a plane.

We're at the Renaissance Houston Greenway Plaza Hotel conveniently located mere steps away from the Houston office. It's a pretty nice set up and it has a gym.

the gym at the hotel
Chunkie McChunkster inhaled 10 ingredient fried rice and crab rangoon last night even though she already had dinner... twice. In an effort to fit into my jeans, I tried to keep myself in check today. Target meal replacement shake in the AM (they're knockoffs of Slim-Fast and taste so much better), a pear, a grande skinny dirty chai latte from Starbucks, and then 2 shrimp tostadas slathered in cheesy and guacamole goodness with a side of rice at 100% Taquito. I mean, I tried, but when everyone is going to 100% Taquito, I have trouble asking for a salad.

After taking pictures of myself in my room, I made myself go to the gym. Somehow, I got my own room even though I am just a manager and single rooms are usually reserved for managing directors and above. I do not know how this snafu came about, but I am not complaining... except when I remembered I get scared  staying in hotel rooms alone and compulsively check the bathtub because I read and watched The Shining.

I did 30 minutes on the treadmill alternating the speed and incline. Starting with a 6.5 incline and 8.7 might not have been the best idea because after 1/2 a mile, I thought I was having that heart attack my psychiatrist is always warning me about. I did a little shoulder and bicep work before calling it a night and returning to my room. Aveda products in the shower but I can't find the bathrobe.

the gym is FILLED with reflective surfaces!
I have a lot of posts I could write this week and I am relying on y'all to vote for one in the comments section below. If you don't vote, I'm not posting, and I'm taking my coworker out for margaritas instead and not telling you about it.

You options are:
1. Why I am a proud owner of new hockey skates
2. The time I finally got to go stand up paddleboarding
3. The Yonkers Marathon
4. The Staten Island Half Marathon
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