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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Thursday, March 28, 2013


I firmly believe that some people are better than others. It's not based on gender, race, or ethnicity - but come on, 8 minutes on the NYC subway proves that we're not all created equal. I'm okay with people being better than others. I'm not okay with people being better than I am.

My new running partner/neighbor who replaced the last one who moved back to California bailed on me this morning. He had a date last night and the only excuse for this cancellation is he got laid. I expect a status report when you read this sir. Anyway, I was up, so I texted that guy I've been seeing to see if he wanted to go for a run. He lives on my street, he likes to run, he has a nice ass - all things that made him seem like an ideal last-minute fill-in running partner.

He schooled me. Over the course of a 2.5 mile run, from 82nd Street to the 59th Street Bridge and back along the river, I was probably a half a mile behind him the entire time. What does it matter if your running partner has a nice ass if you can't even see it?!

At first I tried to keep up but then my leg hurt and I started wheezing. Then I grumbled in my head about how I am a distance runner now and it takes me at least 5 miles to really get going. Then I started getting annoyed. He is so much faster than I am and he's in much better shape. Freaking CrossFit.

I don't think I was very nice as I said goodbye and on my walk home (all 150 yards from his place - this is going to end so badly), I thought about the things that make him superior to me.
  • He is in better shape
  • He can run faster
  • He has visible abs
  • His arm muscles are more defined (mine are not visible)
  • He cooks better than I do
  • He is almost as good-looking as I am
  • He might be better than I am in bed
The last two bullet points are almost too much to bear.

In the shower (alone), I made a mental list of why I am better.
  • I am older (this I moved into the other column as "He is younger than I am")
  • I am a better drinker (false - at brunch he out-drank me immediately and didn't have to squint one eye to walk in a straight line)
  • I have more tattoos
I resent him and therefore, will punish myself by ignoring him.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Hotel Gyms

Greetings from San Francisco!

My team has a requirement that we only stay in hotels that have gyms. Who am I to argue with such a policy? In order to take advantage of this perk, I've decided to stay on Eastern Standard Time for as long as possible.

5:45 AM taking photos in the bathroom because my roommate is still asleep
I got down to the gym to find both treadmills and one elliptical in use. No big deal because I dislike treadmills anyway. I woke warmed up on the elliptical for ten minutes and then did some lifting. My plan was to alternate 10 minutes of cardio with three sets of arm exercises but then a man appeared and hopped on my elliptical seconds before I was about to get on.

The annoying thing about hotel gyms is that everyone tries to workout at the same time. You should have seen the gym when my 350 person team descended upon Miami. It was a large gym but it didn't stand a chance.

I used 12 lbs and 10 lbs weights for my arm workout. I did a set of shoulder presses with the 12 lbs and then another set with the 10 lbs immediately after. I did the same for biceps curls, followed by tricep kickbacks with 7 lbs weights. I repeated this twice, realized my elliptical machine had been jacked, and then switched to some half-ass crunches.

I finished up my 30 minute workout with a few sun salutations and was showered by 6:45. Good day.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

More Morning Miles

I was working from home again this morning and decided to get a run in before I headed into the office for the afternoon. I like this schedule because it allows me to get everything that demands my immediate attention done first thing in the morning and then I get some me time. I arrive at work to tackle projects or attend meetings and I am able to stay as late as necessary because I've already gotten my workout and shower in, which alleviates a lot of the anxiety I give myself about scheduling my day.

This has become my favorite running outfit lately. I got a pair of Matty M  leggings in grey (super cute) and I wear it with my Under Armour pullover. For a short run I wear Old Navy socks and I've been putting mileage on my Brooks Ghosts to mix it up a bit.

I knew it was colder today than yesterday, but I didn't realize how cold. I was giddily thinking how great it is when Spring begins to creep in because I no longer have to wear gloves. I even thought about writing a post about how great it is to run without gloves. Then I got out there without gloves and my fingertips froze and I was in pain and then I got mad at myself. Thankfully they started to warm up about a mile in.

I saw two NYC Parks Patrol Officers, a policeman, and a photographer staring out at the water. Who knows what was going on but apparently it was fascinating. I saw nothing and they ignored me when I casually asked what was up.

My stupid Garmin took forever to catch today so I actually ran about 1/2 a mile more than the thing claims.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Morning Mileage

After reading about Sarah from Once Upon a Lime try to become a morning runner, I remembered that I used to like to get up early and run before work. I hit snooze multiple times this morning but I was dressed and ready to run by 8 8:15. My Garmin was being an asshole but the walking I did trying to get the satellites to catch gave me a chance to wake up.

I decided that I didn't want to wear my running pouch but I needed a place to stash my keys. My running partner/neighbor (who moved back to San Francisco without telling me!) used to tie his keys into his laces. I am psychotic about things moving and bothering me while I am running so I've always been hesitant to do this, but I managed to get the keys secured in there. I took the lace out of the left loop, strung my keys onto it, wedged the keys under 3 other laces, restrung the lace, and then tied everything tightly over the keys. I also have a separate set of keys I use for running that only have the two keys I need to get into my building and nothing else.

Good morning New York!
I was moving pretty slowly - Garmin says an average of 9:11 minute miles. It was nice just to get out there and enjoy the sunshine.

Don't I look happy?
I didn't even run the whole way back. Once I hit 4 miles, I stopped the clock and walked the rest of the way home, which is probably about a quarter of a mile.

It's sunny out but it's not warm. I wore a pair of ADIDAS capris that I usually wear for spinning. Not ideal running pants because they kept sliding off my ass. Does anyone have any good recommendations that are not lululemon? Ideally, I am looking for bermuda length shorts.

Monday, March 11, 2013

HELP! My Body Says It Is Running, But I'm Not Moving!

Today I received a question about running and I thought others might be interested in my answer.

QUESTION: "So I haven't been going too crazy but [I've been] running on the treadmill about three or four days a week for at least 30 min, I usually go 5 to 6 mph. I took a week off running cause a friend was in town and then I tried to start running outdoors so I went to a track and I couldn't even make it half a mile without stopping. I felt so heavy and weighed down and had stomach cramps and could not go any farther and I have no idea why it felt so impossible! I felt like I was 400 lbs."

I understand that that's not actually in question form, but I'm going to take it anyway.

I learned that my friend had not been running outdoors in quite some time (it's been cold, I totally get it) and that she had been running on a treadmill with the incline set at zero. When we run on a treadmill, we have to use muscles to stabilize our bodies which allow us to continuously run in place. When we run outside, we need to propel our bodies forward. That's why, after four years of being a treadmill queen, I found myself unable to run a half of a mile outside without feeling like I was dying.

There's an easy solution to this - set your treadmill to an incline of 1.0 or 1.5 and this will help mimic the conditions of running outside. I've read some articles claiming to never go above 1.5, but when I'm feeling really baller, I'll set the incline as high as 5.0 and have my way with it.


Sunday, March 10, 2013

50K Style Guide

What do you wear for a 50K?

If you lose a bet, like Keith Straw, you wear the most beautiful running outfit in the world.

Keith was a good sport and let everyone who asked take photo, including me and my mother.
It snowed the night before the race. This is my car 10 minutes before I left for the course.

The weather has been colder each year I have run the Caumsett. I ran the 25K in 2011 in shorts and a tank top in the pouring rain. I ran the 50K in 2012 in the same black shorts with a tank top and a red pullover. This year I wore capris by Yoga Bella (I never run in capris), a C9 by Champion for Target tank with built-in sports bra, and the red C9 by Champion for Target pullover.

oh hey, it's just after 6 AM on a Sunday
I also busted out a fresh pair of Knockarounds. I buy the red, white, and blue pairs in bulk because I love them and I love America. Many people I meet also love them, so if I'm wearing an older pair, I'll just give them the ones I have on me.

I love me some good color-coordination so I made sure to wear my red Brooks Adrenaline 11s. I ran the 50K in these last year so I figured I couldn't go wrong in the same shoes.

courtesy of GLIRC. All Rights Reserved.
I'm blaming this photo on an unflattering angle. It never got warm enough for me to take off my red pullover, so my patriotism wasn't obvious to everyone. I wore my Brooks gloves for most of the race and frequently lamented that the neon yellow detracted from my overall outfit.

Monday, March 4, 2013

No Mile Splits?!

Last December, my Garmin Forerunner 305 decided to die. The amazing folks at Garmin helped me to realize that it was still under warranty and sent me a new one. Everything has been great. Until I realized today that I never set it to AUTOLAP every mile and now I have no mile splits from my freaking 31 mile race.

I thought it was weird when I could hear everyone else's Garmin making noise except for mine, but I thought the sound was just off.

I was at first pretty sad to find out that I ran all of that way and don't know my mile splits, but then I remembered that until last year, I didn't own a Garmin and never had any idea of how fast I ran each mile. However, I do have my sick ass race print out from each of my Caumsett runs.

Here are my 5K splits. The first four splits I ran with music. My phone died during split 5 because I was listening to Soundcloud and Spotify - rookie mistake. Next time I will turn my phone to airplane mode and make sure that I download everything I want to listen to. I also might bring my old school iPod as a back up.

I also think I was dehydrated from going out Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and that I didn't drink enough water on Friday. I overcompensated Saturday and had to pee every freaking 3 miles, adding to my time.

I also walked the hills during splits 5 - 10. I think I will walk the hills during every loop in the future because it will save energy. As you can see in split 10, walking the hills didn't negatively affect my overall time and I was actually able to run the entire thing faster than splits 2 and 3, even though I didn't walk at all during those.

One of my favorite things about running is analyzing data because I am a data nerd.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Caumsett 50K 2013

Because this is what you do when you finish a 50K
I finished another 50K! It felt much harder this year, but I was able to finish really strong. I was running sub-7s as I came in.

I really appreciated your messages! Unfortunately Soundcloud killed my phone battery somewhere around 14 miles, so I didn't get to see most of them until I finished, but it was awesome to see all of your support when I got back into the car.
10 miles down, 21 miles to go
I ran the race in 5:21:49.21 (slower than last year), and I am okay with this time. I came in 40th place, I was the 9th woman, and I came in 2nd in the 25-29 division. I got two medals, one for finishing and one for coming in second place.


Stayed tuned for more posts about the Caumsett 50K this week.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Race Anxiety

So nervous about tomorrow. I have decided to run in capris instead of shorts because of the weather. Reading Fifty Shades of Grey again to calm dawn.

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