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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Addicted to CrossFit

I really didn't think that I was going to make it to 5:30 AM CrossFit today.

But then I couldn't sleep.

I used my monogrammed stationary because I'm classy, but not my Crane monogrammed stationary, because it's not like we're IL or anything.

Rivka was surprised to see me at the box after my text message, but hey, I wanted to see her face.

Today was conditioning day, which means no strength portion. Fuck that shit.

20 kettlebell swings 72/53#
20 toes to bar (fuck this shit too)
20 calorie row (how the fuck has a 10+ calorie row been the rest period more than once this week?!)

The word of the day is fuck.

So Rivka starts giving me shit about getting a 53# kettlebell. The workout as prescribed called for a 1.5 pood kettlebell. So sorry I followed instructions. Since I was doing Rx and Rivka is stronger than I am, I shamed her into also getting a 53# kettlebell. Then ish got spicy.

Rivka is better at kettlebell swings than I am, but I strategize them better. Rivka is better at toes to bar than I am, no contest. Rivka is not better than I am at rowing. I came in at 24:52 and she came in at 24:53. She should have totally beat me, so hopefully this inspires her to fix her row. I celebrated with a spectacular victory dance and then rolled on the floor in my own sweat.

Disclosure: Rivka is significantly shorter than I am. However, she got back on the rower so much earlier than me that my shitty ass rowing shouldn't have beat her. Perhaps we both need a rowing clinic?

Then I picked up Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwiches for two because I am the absolute best.

I'll tell them to expect to wake up alone, but at least I bring home breakfast.

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