Craving Chocolate?

Today I was getting the sides of my face waxed (because I am psychotic and need my hairline to be exactly even on both sides) and the lady used something different than regular honey wax. I'm in the chair with my head tilted back, can't really see because my glasses are on the counter, and I swear I can smell Nutella. It's chocolate wax. On my face. I seriously considered eating it. The woman takes a phone call (am I the only person that thinks it's incredibly rude to interrupt a hair removal service for a call? Um hello - rip the fabric off and then take the damn phone) and I contemplate swiping a bit with my finger. Things have hit a new low.

Level 2/3 Yoga

After some confusion about a Saturday morning cardio kickboxing class, I ended up at 8:30am yoga at the Great Neck Equinox last weekend. This class was not for the casual yoga-goer, therefore it was not really for me. But I tried as hard as I could. Sweet niblets, I don't think my body was intended to bend in such directions.

I've been trying to get more into yoga. It improves flexibility and builds strength. I've noticed that even when my upper body looks really strong, I've actually built up my vanity muscles. I see an improvement in my push-ups and planks whenever I'm going to yoga regularly.

As much as I know I should go to yoga, I prefer the rush I get from cardio and conditioning classes. Getting all my energy out relaxes me, while yoga and Pilates usually leave me restless. Not with this class. I had to stop 10 minutes before class ended because at that point I was just rolling on the mat. Two ladies on the Spa staff asked me what was going on inside the studio because each week everyone comes out looking exhausted.

Ashtanga Yoga L2/3
Saturdays at 8:30 am
Raj Shtrom

Titan Method

I finally made it to Omar's new signature class, Titan Method. It was the best hour I've spent in the gym in a long time.

The Titan Method "uses five minute training rounds that alternate resistance and body weight drills to develop muscular strength, endurance, and cardio fitness." What this translates to is an intense amount of work for five minutes and then thirty seconds to mop the puddles of sweat off the floor before the next round begins.

My favorite move was the burpee to the training squat to the box jump. To do this on your own, put a step on two sets of risers. Place your hands on the step and jump back into a plank. Jump back into a squat and lightly sit on the step. From this seated position, you jump up and onto the bench. Jump back down so that you are straddling the bench and go straight into your next burpee. Repeat for 2 minutes. Grunt and holler as needed.

No More Running

I've decided to put a moratorium on running until November. My hypothesis is that the less running I do, the better I run.

In college I ran frequently, usually on a treadmill. I was running 8 or 9 minutes miles and lost my stamina for distance. In high school I ran all the time, outdoors and on the indoor track, and I averaged 9 minutes miles. I was even slower on a treadmill.

So when did I start running 7 minute miles? When I stopped running. I prefer to get my cardio from group fitness classes. I'll settle for a CrossRamp incline trainer in a pinch, but I loathe the treadmill and its monotony. (But I do support watching tv while walking on an incline, because if you're going to watch crap reality television you have to counterbalance its negative effects.)

I think all the running I've been doing has hurt my running performance. I never felt that extra push of adrenaline during this last race where my legs suddenly feel light and ready to propel me across the finish line. In truth, my legs kind of hurt.

I'm temporarily giving up running in favor of studio cycling and step aerobics. But I will be back on the River Run and Reservoir Track next month in case you want to say hi.

Team RuNNuR Completes the Oyster Festival 5K

People with unpronounceable names
make better runners.

This morning Palindrome and I ran the Town of Oyster Bay Supervisor's 5K, which kicks off the Oyster Festival. I completed the course in 21 minutes and 55 seconds - the EXACT amount of time it took me to run the last one! My pace was 7:03 and I placed 98th out of 650. I placed 5th in my division and 20th for my sex. Awesome way to start my Saturday.

It was much more fun to have a friend at a race. The Get Outside on Governors Island 10K sucked for many reasons, but mostly because I was lonely. Everyone else seemed to be with a group and I had no one to talk to. The people I tried to strike up conversations with were not so friendly, which I found shocking because people are usually much more receptive to me. After the race was over and I couldn't find my jacket and I was convinced I had hypothermia, facebook told me that Palindrome was seated right near me on the ferry back to civilization. He also felt lonely and excluded from the merriment. This is how Team RuNNuR was formed. We're getting technical t-shirts made, NBD.

The supercool print-out of my running stats.

I saw my friend and former babysitter Maryanne at the finish line. This was her first race ever and she is training for a half marathon. I am very proud of her!

Better'n Peanut Butter: Friend or Foe?

12 Grain bread with Low Sodium Better'n Peanut Butter and banana slices

So apparently Better'n Peanut Butter put peanut butter on a low-fat diet (their slogan, not mine). My co-worker introduced me to the low sodium version of this diet nut butter at a recent meeting. I have to admit - I like it better than Skippy. If it came in crunchy, I'd drink it. As much as I love fresh grind almond butter, fresh grind peanut butter kind of skeeves me out and leaves me feeling more unsatisfied than waking up naked next to a super hot guy still fully clothed from the night before. Waste of time. 

Better'n Peanut Butter is damn tasty, but Jillian Michaels has burrowed into my brain and the first thing I thought of as I tasted this delicious treat while reviewing Grade 4 New York State math standards was, "How many chemicals in this crap are wrecking havoc on my metabolism and going to make me fat?!" However, this concern did not prevent me from purchasing Better'n Peanut Butter that weekend.

Click on the image to enlarge and read nutrition information.

Curious about the newest addition to my refrigerator, I went onto the website to do a little research.







Apparently it's "all-natural" and I can pronounce every ingredient on the label. Who knew?  It's still not as clean as fresh grind, but I think it's safe to eat instead of Skippy, Jiffy, et cetera.

As I gather more information, I will keep you informed.
Verdict: FRIEND

Does This Under Armour Make Me Look Fat?

Ugh, forget about your skinny jeans. Is your fitness apparel announcing your penchant for red velvet cupcakes and buffalo wings to the world? Because mine is. I cannot remember the last time I bought real clothes for myself, but I definitely remember my last fitness outfit purchase (lululemon last Saturday). And when I say outfit, I mean outfit; I take the color coordination of the clothes I sweat in very seriously.

So what are you supposed to do when a love handle puts a big fat L into your fabulous technical top? You take the top off, hang it on the outside of your closet, and put on a baggy t-shirt. No cute clothes for you until you up your cardio. This isn't a punishment, but rather the steps necessary for protecting your self-esteem and motivating you to get back on track.

Yesterday I ignored my own advice and spent my hour run tugging on my Under Armour shirt and praying the sun would hurry up and set. Definitely not cute.

Save Cardio Junkie!

On Thursday nights Marcus Jackson teaches two classes back-to-back at the 85th & 3rd Equinox. Cardio Junkie gets your heart rate up and leads into Power Sculpt, where you will do exercises that target each major muscle group. Unfortunately Thursday evening happy hours are taking people out of the gym and these classes are in danger of being cancelled. While I don't think any Thursday night gym class should be forced to compete with drinking, the powers that be are comparing it to Tuesday evening classes.

To save the class start showing up! Marcus said that non-members interested in coming may attend as his guest. Contact me and I'll set it up.

Is It Socially Acceptable to Feign Injury To Get an Attractive Runner's Number?

Tonight I couldn't bring myself to workout indoors and decided to head to Central Park. Monday's excursion through the park got me thinking about the Reservoir Track and so that's where I headed after work.

Monday night's storms had left puddles all over the track, but I was kind of into the obstacle course. While maneuvering around these puddles I spotted a very attractive, tall, and blond runner running in the opposite direction. I saw him again on my second lap and again on my third. I smiled the third time I passed him, but running doesn't really permit the time to strike up a casual conversation.

So I began to think. What if I fell in front of him? Wouldn't he feel a little obligated to stop and help me up? Would I actually want to meet someone who wouldn't stop and help me up? I'm pretty klutzy so it's not too much of a stretch of the imagination that I would miss a step and sprawl out in the middle of the path. I think I'd look pretty cute covered in mud. Alas, I did not throw myself to the ground, mainly because it was getting dark and I could feel horrible blisters forming on my arches. Maybe next time.

Sunset over the Reservoir

Practice 5K in Vibrams

This morning my friend Palindrome (by the way, I use nicknames to protect the innocence of my friends who may not want to be associated with my borderline psychotic fitness life over the internet) and I met in downtown Oyster Bay to practice for next week's 5K. We decided that we had to wear our Vibrams for this excursion, although I'm not sure why since I'm not planning on racing in them. This was actually the first time I ran in my Vibrams and I really liked it. Now that I think about it, maybe I will wear them next Saturday. I did find out that stepping on a rock hurts. Really hurts. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk that kind of pain during a race.

The weather was BEAUTIFUL today and the run set the perfect tone for the day. Palindrome and I didn't run very fast (we didn't time ourselves, oops), but we were able to determine which spots would be good for speeding up or slowing down. We aim to win the Supervisor's 5K.

Open Letter to the Editor

Dear Oxygen Magazine, 

          When I was all set on an evening of couch-sitting, bad eating, and nicotine product inhaling, your November issue arrived in my mailbox. There is no getting away from you, now is there? Thank you.         

             Sincerely, 

                    former binge-eating, gym-avoiding smoker

BUSTED.