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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Progress: Seeing the Big Picture

Last week I drove to Murfreesboro, Tennessee for a conference. I got to the hotel, obviously a Hilton, and was delighted to find the world's most flattering mirror in my room. I took that as a sign to take A LOT of selfies. (Note that "a lot" still has a space in between the a and the l, even when it's capitalized. It is my biggest Instagram pet peeve and apparently every fitness-related account can't be bothered to learn that ALOT is not a fucking word.)

Anyway, I went for a quick run around the mall parking lot on Thursday morning before the sessions started. Basically, I just wanted to get Starbucks so I took the longest possible route to get to the location that was directly next to the hotel. It was a little cold so I wore a long-sleeved shirt.

Since the mirror was just chilling out there on the closet door every time I walked near the bathroom, I felt compelled to document what I looked like post-run.

And I was like, Damn? It looks like I've got ab definition. Where did that come from?

And then I sent this text message to my friend.

Part of me was feeling really good about myself for looking pretty dang good, and the other part of me felt like I was cheating because this mirror was really really flattering. I'd been feeling fluffy at the gym and even a little embarrassed to take my shirt off. I hate wearing a shirt when doing burpees so keeping my midsection covered isn't an option, but I still wasn't excited about it. My weight has been stuck around 144 for a while, which is about 6 lbs less than my heaviest by 4 lbs more than my leanest. 

But then I got the nicest message from a gym friend saying that he noticed I'd lost a lot of weight and he wanted to know who I've been working with and what I've been doing. And then Timehop showed me a photo from exactly one year earlier. I did look a lot leaner. It made me realize that it can be difficult to see progress when you see yourself every day. It reminded me that the number on the scale isn't always an accurate reflection because I've weighed 144 several times and I've never looked like this before. So I might have body dysmorphia.

October 13, 2015 and October 13, 2016

The 2015 photo was taken after weeks of being on the road for that culinary tour and not being able to CrossFit regularly. I travel a lot for work now too, but I have more autonomy with my schedule and I usually get to choose what I eat. And I get to eat and sleep regularly, which was not the case while touring. Honestly, touring was bullshit and I am so happy that I don't do that anymore.

I'm proud of my progress and feeling good about making some more tweaks to my nutrition to maximize my performance. I've been experimenting with eating within a smaller window. I'm not sure that I believe in the benefits of intermittent fasting (I've been reading about fasting for 16 hours (including sleep) and only eating during 8 hours,) but I do know that I like to eat at night. I've been eating my first meal of the day closer to lunchtime, which gives me more macros to use in the evening and my lunch and dinner get to be bigger. I haven't reduced my calories/macros at all, and I'm finding myself more satiated.

Sadly, I did not bring the mirror home with me. The closet door was mirrorized (is that a word?) and so I would have had to take the whole thing off of its hinges to get it out of the room. I did capture my ridiculous basic bitch travel outfit.

I rocked leggings, a Pure Barre muscle tank, and Uggs during my road trip, plus this super sweet cardigan from Target.

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