Sports Leagues for Adults

I've spent the past year looking for a league of my own. (See what I did there? A play on A League of Their Own? Yup.) New York City loves bringing young professionals together to play sports on fields and courts two sizes too small and then encouraging them to get shitfaced on weeknights at a local watering hole that you'd never choose to frequent otherwise.

I started off by joining my company's ZogSports kickball team. It was pretty fun when I worked in the other office and the games became my time to see the folks from across the street. Then I switched offices and the novelty wore off. And I realized that I hate kickball. It's everything that sucks about baseball, plus being whacked by a rubber ball that is more painful than one would think. The last straw was playing in the late fall aka winter league and it was freezing and everyone was sad and we had to go all the way to Hamilton Heights each week.

happier days before the first frost

I was then asked to join my friend's NYC Social Sports Club volleyball team. I signed up even though I knew I was awful at volleyball the last time I had played - in the fifth grade. Guess what guys? Being able to run thirty miles doesn't translate into hand-eye coordination. My crappy playing really bothered many of my teammates and I ended up taking myself out of as many rotations as I thought I could get away with. NYC Social is almost more about the post-game drinking than the actual game and I carried their asses in flip cup so booyah. I also met one of my best friends by playing on that team so weekly humiliation and epic hangovers at work were totally worth it.

quite the cast of characters

My volleyball team signed up for flag football but my travel schedule prevented me from joining. I think they were secretly relieved. Then one of my coworkers and I were having lunch and she asked if I wanted to play soccer on a NYC Soccer team with some of her outside of work friends. They needed girls.

I played soccer through the ninth grade so I really thought this was my opportunity to play a league sport well. Nope. Not good. My only true value-add to the team is my willingness to throw my body in front of players on the opposing team in an effort to get the ball away from them. That's how I ended up clotheslining myself on a guy's shoulder last night. Most people hesitate when they see me charging at them. As I came closer to this player, I could tell that he wasn't backing down and I was like, I respect that, and then I felt the impact of his shoulder slamming into my jaw and then I was on my back looking up at the sky. He helped me up, I brushed myself off, and kept playing.

I'm not sure if I'll play on the fall soccer team. Ideally the folks from volleyball would play soccer in the fall and I'd practice a lot and get good. I have some time to make a decision.

Soccer and Insomnia

So last night I returned to my soccer team after missing two consecutive games. I dreaded going all freaking day but I ended up having a great time. And somehow, clearly it was all the practice in Houston, I had greatly improved.

Fifty percent of the battle is looking good and take a look at that color-coordination below. The shorts even have yellow booty shorts built in.

the return of the work bathroom selfie!

So we finally have an early game at 7:55 (yup, that's the early time) but since it's all the way in Williamsburg, I gave myself an hour to get there because I hate being late and I hate being surrounded by hipsters so you can only imagine what happens when I am late while surrounded by hipsters. I arrived by 7:25 and spent the next 20 minutes in search of a place that would sell me iced coffee but not require me to sit down and learn how the beans were lovingly grown by a band of travelling orphans or whatever. It was a struggle but I succeeded.

mandatory Manhattan skyline Instagram from the field

The team has been playing very well in my absence so the only value-add I have is my willingness to aggressively insert myself in the immediate path of whomever has the ball. I also know to stay down to make sure the ref calls in my favor. I played the entire game again, nbd, and actually passed a few balls this time. We lost 2-1. Or is it 1-2? I've actually never bothered to learn this because I prefer solitary sports.

After a beer with the team, us Manhattanites headed back to Manhattan. I made it to my apartment, showered, ate some orzo salad, discovered that Time Warner screwed with my DVR and didn't record Young and the Restless, and then shit when downhill from there. CBS.com kept freezing at the same commercial every time (get your effing devices in sync and sign the damn player before the other team snatches him up goddammit!) and I lost that wonderful opportunity of Melatonin-induced bliss. And I stayed awake until after 1 AM and then I woke up at 4 AM and I have been awake ever since.

Once I ran out of Candy Crush lives, I took another shower, dried and straightened my hair, and then accepted that there wasn't anything else I was interested in doing, so I went to work. This is what the office looks like before you turn the lights on at 6:57 AM.

someone forgot to turn off the conference room light last night. oops.

I'm not sure what's going on around me, I have lost all of my Excel skills, and I am overly entertained by the stream of emails I am receiving about our plans in Atlanta this weekend. I need to go to sleep and stay asleep. I found myself googling, "Can you feel hair grow?" this afternoon.

Summer Soccer League

I have joined a soccer team and I love it. After realizing that I hate kickball and that I think volleyball is stupid, I was ready to give up on the whole club team sports thing. But then I met Lauren from my office and she invited me to sign up for NYC Soccer. This is not regular Lauren who I have a borderline unhealthy relationship with, but rather the girl in the photo.

Tonight was our first game. I hadn't played soccer since I was 14, but I think I was able to get back into the swing of things pretty quickly. The rule is that two women must be on the field at all times so Lauren and I played the entire game with no subs. Good thing we're both long distance runners.

 I played right fullback because that's what I played in middle school. I'm actually not very good at soccer, but I'm fast and I have no problem using my body to block the ball or the opposing team. I took the ball straight to the chest (which made an awesome sound by the way) and it knocked the wind right out of me. I guess I didn't tighten my muscles before it made contact and then I thought I was going to hurl and it felt like I might have swallowed my tongue. I was able to walk it off and I believe that the play ended in a goal for us.

I'm going to buy a pair of cleats (there was some miscommunication around if we were allowed to wear them or not) because I'd prefer the traction over crosstrainers. I also found blood blisters on my feet after the game.

I really like my teammates, even thought I can't remember all of their names right now. Our team name is Just For Kicks - clever huh?

Our game tonight was at 9:45 PM in Williamsburg, effectively putting a damper on any postgame celebrations. We're going to go out for drinks after the earlier games but I hope it doesn't turn into NYC Social level of celebration. I was so hungover the morning after volleyball every week. I'm really psyched for this summer and looking forward to our next game.

Now if I can only avoid sleeping with the goalie.