Oversharing and Inspiring Others

Hyberbole and a Half

I'm sure some of you wonder why I write about my life and share it with whomever clicks on this blog. Some of you might call it oversharing. What started as an outlet for me to write when I was teaching 9-year-olds and convinced my brain cells were dying, has become a way for me to connect and reconnect with people. I value every message I have ever received regarding this blog. They're usually from acquaintances and start off with, "I know you don't know me very well, but..." and then go on to say how that person decided to take up CrossFit or run their first race or use MyFitnessPal or do something else they might not have had inclination to do otherwise. It makes me very happy.

I write about more than just my workouts because maybe you'll relate to something that I say or think, or you'll see yourself in me. You might just be like, this girl is batshit, but at least she's funny. I had hesitated to write about the demise of my swolemate relationship, but a few days ago I received another, "I know you don't know me very well" message from a friend (I considered him a friend since we met) who is going through his own breakup. Being able to be there for him in that moment makes telling the world that I failed at another relationship worth it.

You could get a lot more unbiased workout reviews from RateYourBurn, so thank you for reading In Shape Out of Mind. I appreciate your support.

Single Looks Good on You

I take books out of the local library to read as bedtime stories when I babysit for my boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's (got to remember that) nieces. And I was really excited to read The Rainbow Fish to them when I was supposed to babysit two weeks ago. I finally returned the book last night. It's been two weeks and this break up is beginning to feel real.

I haven't been moping around though. I've been going to Pure Barre, walking Frank around the neighborhood, and going out for meals and drinks with friends, and even kind of starting to date. I've lost four pounds from tracking my macros and that's including frozen margaritas. I've been reading Katiefitscript and I love her information on cutting and then reverse dieting.

And Life Goes On

I'm surviving being single. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I get angry, but mostly I enjoy not pretending to be happy. I watched seventeen episodes of Twin Peaks over the weekend and I'm okay with that. I'm also remembering the pros and cons of being me before I spent all of my time at home texting my boyfriend. I went to grill out at CrossFit on Friday afternoon and after drinking my way through most of the beers, I headed out for too many margaritas. Definitely woke up on my floor Saturday morning with Frank peering down at me from my bed. I believe my rationale was that my bed was nicely made and I was only going to ruin it. Can't argue with that.

I've been going to Pure Barre pretty regularly and I think I've gotten better at it. I didn't realize how strong my abs are until I was able to do a lot of the holds and tucks. I struggling with the planks because my feet keep slipping on the carpet with those not-so-sticky socks. I must be doing planks wrong (it wouldn't surprise me) since most other people there don't have this problem.

Thoughts on Love During a Long Run

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Corinthians 13:4-7)

Today I ran the long run I skipped last Friday in favor of watching The Young and the Restless in bed with my dog. Spectacular idea at the time and I felt pretty good on my run today. I had 8 miles to cover before my Pure Barre class at noon. I left a little bit after 9:30 AM and headed south on the Eastside Beltline Trail.

I had to run 4 more miles after the Beltline so I hit up Piedmont Park

First Day of Pure Barre

My sister and my mom are huge fans of Pure Barre. They're always going to Pure Barre and talking about Pure Barre. They even have special socks for Pure Barre. It sounds kind of like a cult, and since I like cult fitness movements, I decided I needed to try it. I also got a little sick of my sister telling me how Pure Barre is only for experienced workouters, because if CrossFit can be adapted for people missing limbs, I'm pretty sure Pure Barre can be adapted for people who are intimately acquainted with their couches. So I signed up for the new client special and had my very first class today.

Let me be the first person to stand up and say that Pure Barre is extremely difficult. So many isometric holds and micromovements! My legs felt like noodles! And all those front squats yesterday certainly didn't help matters. It's been over an hour and my legs still feel like jelly.

I'm excited to share my Pure Barre journey with you guys over the next several weeks. I'm not quitting CrossFit, and consider Pure Barre an extension of my CrossFit. Coach Glassman says to "regularly learn and play new sports."

I had a great time in class today with the instructor Meredith. The only thing that I would change is the dresscode - pants and covered midriffs are required!

Front Squats and Reflections on Life

Things have been really hard for me lately. I was hoping that I'd bounce back quickly after my attack in May, but it's been much slower progress than I had hoped. Just now I took Frank out to the grass directly in front of my apartment and I was genuinely scared. I stood out there, standing as tall as possible, and repeating, "I have a 165# front squat and a taser - no one is fucking with me ever again." I keep my taser on and ready and I don't go out after dark without it. Today I ran errands alone in Atlanta for the first time since early June and I was scared to walk across parking lots in broad daylight. It makes me so angry because I feel so weak.

I was laid off (again) and my last day on the job is July 31. Thankfully my role was extended past the last day of the fiscal year (May 29), but I've been rejected from internal positions that I really thought I had a strong chance of getting. It's been frustrating because the feedback I've received has been basically, "We think you're great, but since so many people got laid off this year, the applicant pools are huge and competitive and you just weren't the best, but you were totally number 2." I've been getting pissed off because after defining myself by my work for so long, I now feel that another thing has been taken away from me and it's out of my control. 

I've been acting really negative and taking it out on my wonderful boyfriend, who is a saint to put up with me. Today's his birthday so you should wish him a happy birthday if you know him and haven't done so yet. Even going back up to NY for two weeks didn't help make me feel better. It's like the joy has been sucked right out of my life and I'm stuck in this cycle of feeling and acting like a victim. Even after being beaten and losing my job, this year is actually much better than 2009-2012, and I made it through all that. I feel like I've lost perspective.

My blog photographer, aka my mom, did not return to Atlanta with me, so I'm experimenting with the iPhone timer.