Mindful Macros

Yesterday was fucking awesome. I cannot emphasize enough how much a positive mindset impacts everything you do. You might not be into Jesus or CrossFit, (but if you are, check out Faith Rx'd), but putting all of your effort into something and living your life for something important feels so much better than going through the motions while having an existential crisis.

Mindful eating versus macro tracking. So I am back to tracking macros now that I am home from New York. I was feeling mad puffy and bloated. But I am focusing on my hunger cues, what actually sounds good to eat, and how I feel in my performance. I read something on Krissy Mae Cgney's blog the other day that smacked me right upside the head.

"I started out as a strict macro-counter. I got a high from hitting my numbers dead on every single day and I weighed and measured everything that entered my mouth. I was in this 100%. Now let me be extremely candid . . . this is a sign of an eating disorder. I was obsessing over food and my definition of nutritional success at this time was predicated on hitting my daily macronutrient allowance dead-on. I found myself popping fish oil pills to hit my fat macros..."

I have definitely popped fish oil pills to hit my fat macros. I've also eaten a tablespoon and a half of butter off a knife.

Just trying to keep my shit organized.

I have a problem when it comes to tracking anything. I am obsessive. I want everything to be the same. I swing the pendulum from hyper-organized to hot mess and this characteristic bleeds into all aspects of my life. I had to stop getting French manicures because I'd make the manicurist redo the lines over and over until they were all exactly the same. I'm happy to report that I currently have a French manicure and the lines are about the same and two nails were polished on an entirely different day and they are a slightly different color and I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. I need structure in my life, hence macro-counting, but I don't need an eating disorder so I try to be a little loose.

For example, yesterday my boyfriend lured me to Ponce City Market under false pretenses. He told me he was going to Szechuan with two of his coworkers and invited me along. I will drop everything, including my macros, for dumplings so I was all about it... until we ended up at the Italian bistro instead. I wasn't that hungry and I am so sick of pasta after almost two weeks in New York. Instead of feeling pressured to eat something off of the vegetarian-friendly menu, I ordered a Caprese salad and ate some of the shared charcuterie board. We got gelato afterwards. Was I a little low on protein yesterday? Yes. Did I worry about it? Yes. Did I come home and eat an ounce of turkey? Yes. But I didn't let it come between me and some gelato.

Side note - Please don't ever promise me Chinese food and then bait and switch. It's not nice to play with someone's emotions like that.