July 2016 Goals

Life and Wellness Goals: July felt like the longest month. I traveled to Memphis, Chicago, Houston, and Newark within a three week period. My inbox still has 400 emails in it. I feel like I wasted my weekends with too much drinking at the pool and I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked. Despite some serious work stress and anxiety, I'm feeling pretty good about life.

I listened to both seasons of Serial during my travels. When is Sarah Koenig going to come out with Season 3? For real though, I miss her soothing voice.

Speaking of soothing voices, the highlight of the month was meeting Doug Larson at my box!

My GMAT prep course started again and I'm trying to keep myself organized and on top of the work. I need to do well in the course so that I feel confident taking the exam in October. I wonder if there are podcasts I can listen to for GMAT prep? If you know of any, send them my way por favor.

Pure Barre Goal: I went to Pure Barre twice this month, which makes 49 classes this year.

CrossFit Goal: 79/200 WODs. I dropped in at CrossFit Tupelo on my drive back from Memphis. They just moved into their new space and it's beautiful and air-conditioned. Looking at this, I don't think I am going to hit my goal of 200 WODs.

Mileage: 0. I should probably find some time to run before my half marathon on August 13.

Everything Hurts and I'm Dying

So on Monday, I was calmly minding my own business answering my emails in bed with my dogs. Maintenance comes to my apartment to go about addressing the 6 work orders I submitted on Sunday night, because let's be honest, isn't it better to have your pals come and spend 2 hours fixing stuff that's broken rather than send one-off requests all of the time? I quickly brought the dogs to daycare so they'd stop aggressively informing Kenny he wasn't welcome in our bathroom, and sat down at my desk to handle the project from hell. This is the annual project of telling your straggling AmeriCorps members that if they do not sign their evaluation and complete their exit form immediately, you cannot and will not release their Segal Education Award. This year it's $5,730. For the love of all that is holy people, just slap an electronic signature on your positive evaluation and tell the Corporation for National and Community Service that you do not want them to contact you about anything but that you did serve your 1,700 hours and you want your money. I didn't move from my desk the entire time my maintenance guys (who are seriously awesome by the way) fixed my thermostat and my shower and my light and that screw on the toilet and placed an order for the ice machine parts that I was apparently supposed to have the entire two years I have lived in this apartment. I sent a lot of friendly but slightly menacing emails.

So then maintenance is done and I stand up to go over the work orders with them, and my back starts to spasm. It is effed up. It feels like the time I threw my back out doing touch and go power cleans at 105# when that was a heavy weight for me. That time I ended up doubled over taking muscle relaxers and hydrocodone for a week. The scheduled WOD was max clean and jerk, followed by 30 cal row 15 clean and jerks 30 front squats for time using 70% of daily max for WOD. I rushed to the chiropractor. I was fixing this immediately.

I got adjusted. I came home and put heat on my back. I had to continue sitting at my desk because I had too much ish to do that needed two screens. By CrossFit time, I couldn't walk at all.

I have not done CrossFit since Tuesday, July 19 and I am dying! Things seem better now, but this much physical rest is killing me. Unfortunately I'm not getting much actual rest between the annual project from hell, the fire that was lit by some colleagues overreacting to this annual project (it happens every year - they always sign in the end!), some grant officers who are trying to get me to commit suicide, and my GMAT prep course. Obviously that was scheduled to start back up this past Tuesday.

The next time someone tells you that CrossFit is dangerous, you can tell them your favorite blogger incapacitated herself typing.

Fat Kid Strong Diet

I upped my macros to 145 P 145 C 65 F and told myself I have to eat that as a minimum every day. It's been rather freeing to see those numbers as the baseline and not the limit. I've hopped on the scale a few times but have purposely told myself to ignore the number. I think I look more defined weighing in at 145-148 lbs this week than I did when I hit 140.2. I'm sure it has something to do with water weight.

I've been kidding around that I'm a fat kid diet, but I really just want to get strong again. I returned to CrossFit last fall pretty weak compared to where I had left. I had lost and then gained weight and lost muscle mass. I don't compete in Olympic Weightlifting so it's not like I have to make a weight class. I want to start PRing lifts again.

Sometimes I get down on myself because I see girls at the gym who now move 95# overhead like it's big deal and I used to be stronger than them. I know I need to work on my mobility and fix my right shoulder. I know that I took time off last summer and then went away all fall. But it still frustrates me. I've also felt torn by too many goals that are all over the place, so I decided to simplify things - get as fucking strong as possible.

Guess Who Was in Our Box Today?

I'm at the 9:30 AM class this morning because I'm already on Zonolite for an 8 AM appointment and Brandon is coaching and he's my favorite coach. We've done the warm-up and we're going over the WOD - three attempts at a chipper. You get three minutes, then 5 minutes, then 7 minutes to complete a 500m row or 400m run, 10 burpee box or bench overs, 15 box jumps, 20 wallballs, 25 push-ups, and 30 sit-ups. There's one minute of rest between each attempt. Brandon explains what we need to do and then asks if we have any questions. I raise my hand, nod towards the back of the gym, and ask, "Is that who I think it is?"

Doug Larson of Barbell Shrugged was in our box! I have watched hours of TechniqueWOD. I think about him every time I row (because of TechniqueWOD, not because of my huge crush on him.) It pains me that he's not on the new podcast episodes. I recently started rewatching the old episodes because I missed his voice.

So today, I mustered up my courage, went back to the lifting platforms and told Doug Larson I have had a crush on him for three years. I'm sure I freaked him out a little since I basically stalked him across the gym, but he gave me a hug anyway and agreed to take a picture with me. Brandon joined in too.

photo cred: Anna Marie

The workout was fun but challenging. I made it through 4 box jumps in 3 minutes, 20 wallballs in 5 minutes, and 4 sit-ups in 7 minutes.

There's This Guy

There's this guy at the gym. His hair is longer than mine. His tits are nicer than mine. He's got more tattoos than I do. Not to mention he's faster than I am, AND he was doing muscle ups at his first day of on-ramp. He's also a lawyer and happily married. I hate him.

I actually don't hate him at all. He's awesome. But a few years ago, I would have definitely hated him because I was insecure in my own self-worth and accomplishments. I have the power to change the way that I look, and I'm working on being happy with how I look today while always striving to look better. I can work to be stronger and faster, which I am (hashtag all the gains.) I love my own job and I am really grateful for the strange career path I found myself on because it lead me to where I am now. And relationships take work. I'm dating someone who loves me and puts up with my shenanigans and my dogs and my CrossFit addiction and the fact that I am frequently out of state. I've learned a lot since my last relationship. The end goal is not marriage and you don't put up with bullshit because you're so close to "happily ever after" in that house you've always wanted.

And so friends, be thankful today because you are enough just the way you are. Get some goals. Go after those goals. But don't let yourself or anyone else eat away at your confidence and make you feel like you'd be better or more lovable if you weighed less, lifted more, made more money, or did whatever else differently. Someone once told me that the thing he loved most about me was that I made him feel perfect just the way he is. I was like wow, I have never felt that way, especially not from you. So obviously that relationship did not work out, but it also showed me that I don't need someone else to make me feel that way about myself because I can make myself feel that way.

And it's deadlift day so let's rejoice.