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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, November 22, 2013

A Few Too Many Toasts to Wishes

Happy Friday folks. Hope everyone is feeling as solid as I do.

Last night was the Make A Wish Toast to Wishes party. It was a lot of fun but at around 9 PM I realized that I was drunk, flirting with a 2012, and the bar had run out of champagne glasses. I put myself in a taxi.

This morning I woke up in my apartment wearing my favorite CrossFit t-shirt and my retainers and my dress from last night was in the hamper. I'm really getting this grown up thing down.

I saw my friend Erica from college at the event. Turns out Erica is an avid reader of In Shape Out of Mind. Hi Erica!

the one Guest of a Guest photo where I do not look like a tranny
I went to the 7 AM WOD yesterday in order to attend the party. I haven't done a morning class in so long that I forgot what it was like to be at the office at 6 AM. I looked like shit.

I was not a supple leopard. My right shoulder was really tight and there was a visible difference between my two arms during my split jerks. Jason had me use a band to stretch it out.


Barbell Gymnastics
(2″ from floor) + Jerk: (2+2 denotes 2 UB Cleans, then 2 Jerks)
3 X 2+1@85%-90%
rest 60-90 seconds between rounds

Metcon (Time)
Row 1000m
30 Muscle-Ups
Row 1000m

I substituted pull-ups and push-ups for the muscle-ups. 3 pull-ups + 3 push-ups = 1 muscle-up, so 90 of each later, I was drooling on myself. I finished in 25:27, 27 seconds over the time cap.

so many locker room selfies

So last Sunday, I was lying on my bed in a Chinese food hangover, texting this guy, because I only communicate with people I like via text message, Snapchat, and the occasional cryptic drunk voicemail, and he completely put me to shame with the dinner he had prepared himself. Feeling inferior, I went to the grocery store twice this week. For the record, I can cook. I just choose not to.

the only things I know how to make are paleo
I thought I was really winning with my surprisingly put together outfit for work today (I'm channeling Charlie Sheen circa 1991), until I noticed the hole in these pants. My thighs just really don't like being covered.

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