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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Friday, August 26, 2011

My Secret is Out - I Am Not Naturally Hairless

I received a question asking if I knew anything about eyebrow threading. Psshhht... what don't I know about eyebrow threading? I am extremely knowledgeable about many forms of hair removal because I suffer from chaetophobia - an irrational fear of hair. I am repulsed by body hair in particular, but head hair detached from the head makes me just as nauseous. My chaeotophobia is primarily directed towards women's hair. I happen to like facial hair on many men, and couldn't care less about their arm hair, leg hair, or chest hair. Nobody likes back tufts so that's not a symptom of my problem. The only thing that really creeps me out is exceptionally straight pubic hair. Like really? Did you use a hair straightener? If your nether regions look like they are covered by chemically-treated, razor-straight hair, do us all a favor and take a razor to it.

While our male readers are busy taking a peek at their junk, I will give a rundown on hair removal for the ladies.

Threading
I am a big fan of threading, especially during the summer because it won't remove your tan the way waxing does. You have to go to a reputable threadist because you can end up with irritated skin, ingrown hairs, and wackily shaped eyebrows. I like threading for eyebrows, upper lip, and the sides of your face if you have an uneven or overly grown hairline. 

Where to Go: Perfect Brows, Meena Threading Place, Thread

Waxing
I love waxing. There is something so satisfying about having your hair yanked out of its follicles by strips of muslin. Again, you can't go to any backroom waxist and expect to look good. I have tried out hundreds of waxing salons. Currently my favorites are Angel Tips Nails in East Norwich on Long Island and Perfect Brows on the Upper Eastside of Manhattan. I get my eyebrows or upper lip waxed instead of threaded sometimes. The Brazilian bikini waxes at Perfect Brows are fast and thorough. You can show up at 7:30pm and be out in time for a 7:45pm spin class. I used to have my legs waxed, but I can't spend five weeks waiting for my leg hair to grow long enough. Every so often I will get an underarm wax because it get rid of that unsightly five o'clock shadow months of shaving can cause.

Where to Go: Angel Tips NailsPerfect Brows

Shaving
I shave my legs almost everyday. If I know I want a particularly smooth leg, say right before an event, I will go one day without shaving but that just about kills me. I use a Gillette Fusion razor (the kind they make for men's faces) and Gillette Foamy for Sensitive Skin. Everyone comments on my smooth legs. I own a Fusion Power and a ProGlide. I don't care for the Power's battery function and never turn it on anymore. I don't think it helps to get a closer shave.

Where to Go: Gillette products can be found at any neighborhood drug store.

Hair Removal Creams
One morning at sleep-away camp, I awoke before my bunk and decided to Nair my arms because I was bored. I've been removing the hair on my arms ever since. I've tried a few methods (including waxing), but the most convenient way of removing the hair is with a cream. I switched from Nair to Veet a few years ago, and Veet is the superior product. Veet comes in many forms, but I prefer the Hair Removal Cream Pump. It comes with a spatula, but I prefer to pump two squirts into my hand, slather up an arm, and then switch. I leave it on for approximately one song (3-5 minutes) and then use a wash cloth to remove it. After so many years, I can actually feel when it's ready to come off before it can burn me. You can also tell when all of the hairs on your arm lie flat at an unnatural angle. The Spray-On can be tempting, but I wouldn't recommend it for your arms. I ended up awkwardly covered in the stuff around my midsection and I made a mess of the bathroom. I've been doing this for thirteen years - I assure you that the pump is the way to go.

Where to Go: Veet products can be found at any neighborhood drug store.

So there you go - I admitted, in writing on a public forum, that I have an overwhelming disgust of body hair and remove it many different ways. I'm a quarter Chilean and a quarter Spanish; I can't help that I have dark hair, but I can figure out how to get rid of it. If you have any questions, or would like recommendations in your area, I probably know the answer. Post them below.

2 comments:

  1. Great post! Thanks for all the info!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Olivia, when you asked me about eyebrow I realized I was sitting on a goldmine of information that I couldn't keep to myself. Right by the Hicksville mall there's a place that's supposed to be awesome for it.

    ReplyDelete

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