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My excessive energy, extreme narcissism, and intense love of neon-colored spandex is both managed and fueled by my addiction to fitness. I push myself to extremes and I push other people's buttons. Obviously I needed my own blog.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

A Little Above My Skill Level

Last night I went to CrossFit at 7:45 PM and it was beyond humbling.

I think I looked pretty adorable in my lululemon top and Under Armour shorts (those things have been around since 2003 and they are still doing their job!), but apparently no one cares what you wear to CrossFit. After many years of being looked up and down (and giving the same treatment to others) every time I went to the gym, I still find it odd that no one's checking out my color-coordinated outfits.

I couldn't interpret the WOD on the website and therefore wasn't sure what to Google. I harassed nicely asked my co-worker Selby to explain it to me. Ten minutes of gchatting and a visit to my desk later, I was fully prepared to watch YouTube videos for the rest of the evening. 

Someone recently asked me if all I did was blog and watch CrossFit videos at work. The answer is kind of. I am an exempt employee, which means I have a salary for doing my job regardless of the hours it takes me to do it. Because I work for a non-profit, we are all required to fill out a weekly timesheet even if we are not paid by the hour. If I was in the office for eleven hours but I spent 45 minutes blogging, Facebooking, and watching CrossFit videos, I log 10.25 hours of work for that day. It makes absolutely no sense for me to leave the office to go home if I'm going to workout in my office building later that evening. I also queue up a lot of posts the night before and publish them during the workday to drive more traffic to my blog.

I digress.

The strength workout was Wendler's front squat. I was able to front squat 83 lbs correctly. Booyah! Ninety-three lbs threw off my form and I wasn't getting low enough to the ground. I also risked breaking my wrist when I realized my partner was significantly taller than me and we hadn't lowered the rack to fit my vertically challenged needs. You live, you learn.


3 rounds for total reps of:

1:00 ME HSPU

2:00 AMRAP of:

12 TTB
12  Push Press 115/85

*Rest 1:00

Notes: This piece is 3 rounds of 3:00 of work with 1:00 rest after each round. There is no break between the HSPU and the AMRAP.

No amount of video watching could prepare me for this. While attempting the scaled handstand push-up, aka kneeling on a box and pseudo-push-uping, I managed to slip in my own sweat and fall off. Obviously this happened right when Marc, the coach, came over to try to explain what I was doing wrong. I firmly believe that if you cannot laugh at yourself, no one can laugh with you, so I said, "Ohhh! You mean I'm not supposed to be doing these tangled on the floor?" I think he was so concerned that I had hurt myself that he ignored my attempt at humor and just kept asking if I was okay. Oh Marc, it takes a lot more than slip 'n sliding off of a box to bring me down.

There were push presses (with 43 lbs, my chicken wings need help) and there was some swinging around on the bars but certainly not in the same round. I could not in good conscience claim to have done a workout and post a score on the whiteboard. I really wanted to write, "Ech ☺ " but I was afraid that my intent would be misinterpreted. I had a great time but I didn't actually do anything correctly so I didn't write anything at all. I have no idea if that violates some sacred CrossFit rule but I'm not cool with claiming I did something when I did not. (I have no problem saying I didn't do something when I most certainly did, so consider yourself warned.)

I dragged my sweaty ass back upstairs, took a selfie (obvs), and collected my things for the commute home. You would think that I would've been able to sleep like a baby, but it was another melatonin night.

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